Martian Land (2015)

• Year: 2015
• Released: 06 Oct 2015
• Country: USA
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4943934/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/martian_land
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: Unrated
• Genre: Action, Adventure, Horror, Sci-Fi, Thriller
• Runtime: 86 min
• Writer: Jeremy M. Inman (screenplay)
• Director: Scott Wheeler
• Cast: Lane Townsend, Alan Pietruszewski, Jennifer Dorogi, Arianna Afsar
• Keywords: dystopia, planet mars, sandstorm,

2.4/10

Martian Land Storyline

In the distant future, a large portion of humanity lives on Mars, in cities that resemble those once found on Earth. The cities are protected from the inhospitable Martian atmosphere by dome-like force-fields. When a massive sandstorm breaks through the dome and destroys Mars New York, those in Mars Los Angeles must figure out how to stop the storm before it wipes them out next.

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Martian Land Movie Reviews

Can life and death on Mars be any more amateurish or less interesting?

Have made no secret in the past of intensely disliking, and even outright hating a lot, a vast majority of The Asylum’s (near-universally maligned for good reason) output, though there is curiosity as to whether they are capable of making something good and compulsive about their output’s badness. Admittedly, The Asylum do have a small group of watchable films and the occasional (big emphasis on that word) above average one, unfortunately outweighed by the lacklustre at best and often dreadful films they churn out.

After seeing ‘Martian Land’, giving it a fair chance and trying to not let bias get the better of me, as much as it actually pains me to say it do agree with everybody else who not only found it an awful film but also one of The Asylum’s worst. Very much the same as what was said about ‘Alien Convergence’ and a few other Asylum efforts seen recently. One of their most amateurish and intelligence-insulting certainly, all their trademark flaws are here in ‘Martian Land’.

Just for the record, giving a film the lowest possible rating is incredibly rare for me these days, trying to be a fair reviewer trying to see the good in everything viewed. That rating is only reserved for films etc. that look like no effort or heart was put into it and like nobody was trying, a cardinal sin in film but actually not committed all that often. ‘Martian Land’ is one of the worst examples of this in recent memory.

Visually, ‘Martian Land’ looks incredibly cheap even for something made on a low budget. It’s very drably and sometimes dizzyingly shot, incoherently edited (bacon-slicer-like) with glaring and unforgivably sloppy continuity errors and even the scenery doesn’t make much impression despite being actually the least bad aspect of the film. Even worse are some of the most laughable and pathetic-looking special effects to be seen on celluloid, actually looking they were done as an afterthought and on the small remainder of the money they had left.

Can remember little about the music, which tended to be intrusive, annoying and out of place. The dialogue is utter gibberish and truly juvenile and unnatural, even by The Asylum standards and even in their best efforts the script is one of the weaker assets. How it was approved beyond first draft, or suggesting ideas stage, is beyond comprehension.

There is absolutely nothing thrilling, tense, suspenseful, emotionally investable or fun about the story. The predictability may have been forgivable if the film was actually engaging let alone exciting but it fails to be either throughout. Lets not get started on how insultingly nonsensical and ridiculous it is, things similarly are so vague and confused that coherence was also a major issue in places. The conflict had no urgency, imagination, fun or menace at all, it was all just dull and dumb.

As sort of expected, as it is a trademark of The Asylum it seems, there are illogical and irritating character behaviours that makes one endear to them even less in a film with not one interesting or rootable character. There is not one halfway decent performance either, almost like they weren’t even trying.

Overall, awful with nothing redeeming about it, except that it is not quite as blatantly derivative as other Asylum efforts. 1/10 Bethany Cox

Particularly stultifying

MARTIAN LAND is a particularly stultifying rip-off movie from The Asylum, this time copying the Matt Damon flick THE MARTIAN. Some terraformers have colonised Mars successfully after the destruction of the Earth, but now they must battle against a Martian sandstorm that threatens to destroy their fragile colony. This is talky and cheap throughout, with bad acting and worse writing; absolutely none of the characters are interesting, and there’s no tension or interest at any point in the narrative.

Low budget affair

I totally understand everyone not being really smitten by what they saw. Well almost everyone I reckon. You either cut this some slack or better not watch it at all. It does have a couple of familiar faces in it (so I do know that at least some of the people involved do know how to act – though you couldn’t tell by watching this I reckon – bad accents and all included at times) … maybe that is something that might sway you to watch this.

Either have some low budget love or do yourself a favor and do not waste your time. I’ve seen worse movies (yes I have, even if you don’t believe that) … so there’s that