Ship of the Damned (2024)

Action, Horror /
3.9/10
false% – Audience

Ship of the Damned Storyline

After an abandoned 500 year-old ship appears off the coast of a small town, Historian Elena and the local coastguard go to investigate. They discover it is not abandoned and the ship’s cursed crew have horrific plans for the intruders.

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Ship of the Damned Movie Reviews

I want those minutes back.

This movie is terrible. Despite being a movie about an old (pirate?) ship, you rarely actually see anything that resembles one except the same awful shots of “some ship” none in which look like they have anything to do with the movie at all.

The actors are so obviously out of character. Especially the crew. There is no real emotion going on anywhere in any of the 1 on 1 scenes, just a lot of hard-staring at each other like they are trying to compete for points in a game of “do-not-look away”.

The story has no entertainment value and no substance whatsoever. Any value to the actual story is completely ruined by the endless corridors of 2×6 board sets which look like they were bought at Lowe’s fence department a few days ago and then painted with “pretend ship” stain.

The so-called violent scenes aren’t even convincing. Everyone is swaying and moving so much you’d think they are getting ready to start dancing or something.

The video production is awkwardly high-frame yet low quality. Kinda like what you get from a smartphone. I wonder, did they use that smartphone from the first scene to film this thing?

Not very good at all.

The plot is very amateurish. But that never really matters. Nor does the really cheesy set that is supposed to be the innards of a pirate ship. Then the movie just becomes a matter of the ancient crew and the modern preservationist lady spending hours kickboxing or something. There is really nothing to describe as really nothing happens.

There are some dumb scenes that are supposed to show rituals or backstory about how the ship and crew survived so long and were slightly educated regarded modern times. Yet nothing goes anywhere. Because everything is confined to the cheap set. Oh, and there is zero tension.

Hot ex-boyfriend who invited preservationist lady to investigate the ship hides like a scaredy-cat for most of the movie. Then he doesn’t. And that pans out as well as expected.

After that, the movie ends stupidly. In the presence of orange slices. Arrr, there be no entertainment here, mateys.

Slowed down by a sluggish narrative…

Stumbling upon the 2024 movie “Ship of the Damned” by random chance, I must say that I was immediately drawn to the movie given its cover. However, I had never heard about the movie, and I wasn’t really harboring big expectations to writer and director Steve Lawson. But still, I opted to give him the benefit of the doubt and opted to check out the movie.

The storyline in the movie was a bit bland. There simply wasn’t enough momentum or forward drive to the narrative to keep it overly interesting or entertaining. Sure, it was watchable, but it was mundane and somewhat boring. And that made sitting through 85 minutes of it somewhat of a test of wills.

I wasn’t familiar with the actors and actresses on the cast list in the movie. And that is actually something that I do enjoy when I sit down to watch a movie. It should be noted that the acting performances in the movie were actually fair.

Needless to say that the movie’s cover was far more interesting than the contents of the actual movie. But I was actually expecting that, so it wasn’t really a surprise.

It was difficult to buy into the illusion that the movie was supposed to take place aboard an ancient ship, because it felt like a makeshift studio with a few wooden plates put together and some rope tossed casually over the wooden plates.

“Ship of the Damned” is suitable for a single viewing, though it is hardly a movie that I would recommend for you to rush out and get to watch. Nor is it a movie that I will ever return to watch a second time.

My rating of “Ship of the Damned” lands on a four out of ten stars.

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