Marry F*** Kill (2023)

Horror /
3.7/10

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Marry F*** Kill Movie Reviews

Bind, Bed, Bury

The film opens with Beth (Devin Cecchetto) performing a dark occult ritual which ends in her suicide. Her five somewhat estranged college friends come to her small town of Cedar Grove for her funeral. They stay at her place known as The Gref House which looks like “GRIEF” with the gate closed. They are hosted by Beth’s Aunt Stephanie (Tanya Clarke) who gets them buzzed. They stay for the reading of the will and discovered they all inherited her house. Stephanie is empathic and tells Grant (Jedidiah Goodacre) he has the gift also and was Beth’s love. Beth left this group in college when she walked in on four of them, including Grant having an orgy. Paige (Maxine Denis) was the only one in this group of Five that didn’t participate.

The film was decent. I didn’t connect with the actors who lacked fire and emotion. There are flashbacks to explain the twists which were pretty decent. The film shows blood splatter, but not a graphic kill. Women make love with their undergarments on.

Guide: F-word. Sex. No nudity.

Just stop

Seriously. Tubi, we need to talk. You need to stop with the whole “Tubi originals” thing. They’re bad. Really bad. Laughably bad. Terror Train was an insult to the original, but it was better than this. This is what happens when a cheap as it gets production company makes a movie so bad Lifetime Movie Network doesn’t want it. Noy one thing about this is adequate: the script is eyeroll inducingly poor, the acting is as wooden as the lumber section at Lowe’s, and the director mails it in. Who could blame her, really? The first two acts are quite poor but the real craptactular is saved for act three, which features some of the mist hilariously inept makeup effects of all time. Avoid.

Not That Bad

It is a Tubi original so it’s going to be along the lines of a Lifetime movie, scary but not gory, a hint of sex but not soft core porn. The acting is okay, nothing really bad but nothing really outstanding either. It is a solid little horror movie that delivers what it promises. The story is q pretty interesting one with a bit of a twist at the end, The one thing about Tubi originals is that the production values are good, they have a budget but they are middle of the road movies, just there to give some light entertainment, nothing off-putting or controversial. The cast did their job and there were a few genuinely creepy moments which was nice. It’s an okay movie, not much violence and the blood is kept to a minimum and if that is what you like you might enjoy this one.

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