American Warships (2012)

• Year: 2012
• Released: 15 May 2012
• Country: USA
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2175927/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/american_battleship
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: TV-14
• Genre: Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi, Thriller, War
• Runtime: 89 min
• Writer: Thunder Levin
• Director: Thunder Levin
• Cast: Mario Van Peebles, Carl Weathers, Johanna Watts, Nikki McCauley
• Keywords: battleship,

	2.8/10
	13% – Audience

American Warships Storyline

When a US plane is taken down over seas by an unknown assailant, the army is sure it was North Korea and a new war is about to break out. Even worse, the true attacker is an alien armed force and only one old battleship can stop them.

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American Warships Movie Reviews

For a change, it’s not worse than the original…

AMERICAN WARSHIPS another of the numerous Asylum rip-offs of mainstream Hollywood cinema; this time around it’s the turn of BATTLESHIP. The good news is that BATTLESHIP was a terrible film anyway, so AMERICAN WARSHIPS couldn’t be any worse, and indeed it isn’t; instead, it’s just as bad. The story is trite and predictable, with a naval stand-off between American and supposed North Korean ships turning into a battle against an extraterrestrial enemy. There’s a great deal of bad CGI in the form of endless explosions and the like, and very little in the way of wit or plot development; just repetition instead. Poor old Carl Weathers has been roped into appearing, while Mario Van Peebles somehow manages to not look embarrassed by the whole experience.

THE BIG STICK IS UNDER WAY

This film is an Asylum mock-buster of the film “Battleship” and addresses some of the issues of that film, such as how does a Battleship welded to a pier suddenly has fuel and weapons? In this film the Enterprise (and task force) is up against an enemy with a cloaking device and the enemy has to become visible to fire its weapons. Where have we seen this before? We suspect the Chinese are involved. Now as any Trekkie knows the Romulans (not to be confused with Romney supporters) had such a device. Trekkies also know that the Romulans represented the Chinese. I love these movie tie-ins. Plus 1 star for a Star Trek tie-in.

What this film lacks, that “Battleship” possessed is a killer sound track, witty dialogue, and likeable characters. The USS Iowa is undergoing a world tour as a museum piece when the attacks occur. All solid state electronics are fried, so it is up to old technology and SEAL Team 6, who happens to be on board to save the planet. Mario Van Peebles is the captain of The Big Stick and has a love interest in Lt. Caroline Bradley (Johanna Watts) which is not fully developed. Carl Weathers (Apollo Creed) has a small role as General McKraken. David Polinsky starts out the film as a 4 star admiral and by the end of the film he is a three star admiral. Asylum normally confounds their naval ranking insignias. Not as good as “Battleship.” The special CG effects are still Asylum grade, especially the fake looking fire on the deck of the ship.

No f-bombs, sex, or nudity. Kid safe. 8 stars on the Asylum scale.

Still trying to get over how bad this movie was

I try not to make it a habit of down-grading the SyFy movies, as there are a few out there that are watchable. However, they have done a lot of cheap and badly written and acted movies, and for me American Warships is one of their worst recent examples. It does look cheap for starters, with choppy editing, scenery/settings that doesn’t look that authentic(including the ship actually) and very slapdash at best special effects that further suffer from bad texture and heavy over-use. The script is often aimless with cheesy one-liners, the music is often over-bearing and at a sluggish tempo and the characters are little more than underdeveloped clichés(I have yet to see a SyFy movie character that I actually identify with). The story goes at a dull pace and doesn’t generate any sort of thrills or fun, everything also feels very predictable in that you anticipate what’s happening next constantly. And looking at the logic here, I would genuinely be surprised if SyFy did any kind of research before doing the film whether geographically and scientifically. Apart from a pretty likable Johanna Watts, the acting is poor, either phoned-in or too eager to please. Overall, a waste of time. 1/10 Bethany Cox