Zombie Massacre (2013)

• Year: 2013
• Released: 26 Oct 2013
• Country: Italy, United States, Germany, Canada
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2081438/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/Zombie_Massacre
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: Not Rated
• Genre: Action, Horror, Sci-Fi
• Runtime: 90 min
• Writer: Luca Boni, Marco Ristori, Russell Romick
• Director: Luca Boni, Marco Ristori
• Cast: Christian Boeving, Mike Mitchell, Tara Cardinal
• Keywords: zombie, toxic, eastern europe, super soldier, expendable team,

2.4/10

Zombie Massacre Storyline

A team of soldiers who are assembled to help end a zombie outbreak in a Romanian town.

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Zombie Massacre Movie Reviews

PROJECT K

The CIA has an accident at a secret facility in Rojznov, Romania. The town has turned into zombies and are effectively quarantined. Their plan is not to use drones or tanks to kill the residents, but rather utilize 3 mercenaries and a jailed military man (all from the Steven Seagal School of Fine Acting) to plant a small nuclear device near the nuclear power plant. This is supposed to wipe out the zombies while making their killing look like an accident irregardless of the fact power plants don’t explode and make mushroom clouds.

On the plus side, the zombie make-up was great. They used some metal music to make it into a grindhouse style. Besides plot holes you could drive a tank through, the acting was extremely sad. Why did the US president (Uwe Boll) sound like Arnold Schwarzenegger? Was that an insider’s joke? Outside of the make-up, the film was less than Asylum grade. As bad as our foursome were in acting, I must give a shout out to Carl Wharton (General Carter) who made them all look good. He was worse than emotionless.

The film might have some camp value and perhaps worth the rental price to hardcore zombie fans. Not a keeper. 3 stars because I did enjoyed some of the stupidity of the plot, bad acting, and Uwe Boll as POTUS.

Parental Guide: F-bombs. No sex. “third reel” token nudity (Marissa Chang, Anelita Di Carlo, Veronica Spagnuolo)

Warning: Also released under the title “Apocalypse Z”

There is no hope

That is actually a tag line of the poster/cover of the movie. Are they trying to be funny? Or just telling/warning you right from the start? President Obama might have some entertaining moments in his career, but imagine what America would look like if it were actually run by Dr. Uwe Boll! Easy, it’s just a movie (or it tries to be).

The filmmakers have a clear goal and they use a simple strategy. Something that has worked in the 80s, so why not use it again. But this let’s put a group together and let them defy the odds motive cannot make you overlook all the mistakes and problems the movie has. One of them (due to budget reasons), is the lack of “extras”/infected. When you have to “barricade” yourself into a house, because of the “masses” outside, it doesn’t really work, if there are just 10 people “roaming” a wide shot. They try their best to cover that up, but to no great avail.

If you have a soft spot for B (or is it C/D?) movies, you might find this more engaging than others (I do from time to time), but overall this has not that many memorable things (even the characters lack charisma, even if the actors try hard to give them an edge).

Spoilers follow …

I was sufficiently entertained by ‘Zombie Massacre 2: Reich of the Dead’ to seek out its prequel. With this debut, the filmography isn’t quite as bleak and gritty, but the characters are better defined – i.e.: there ARE some actual characters in this, not just cliché-spouting action men as there are in ZM2. Most of the acting here is fine, some isn’t. So – much like the other film, this is a bit of a mixed bag.

Zombies by their very nature are limited threats. They eat you, you turn into one of them. So wisely – or unwisely, depending on your point of view – the narrative here concentrates mostly on the human crew, a team of mercenaries contracted by the authorities to cover up an outbreak of the living dead, for which the Government (represented by General Carter played by Carl Wharton) is responsible. The remainders take time to make an impression, but after the arrival of a hillbilly and his (suspiciously young) girlfriend, the entourage prove to be pretty well-defined, especially ‘Mad Dog’ Mackellen (Mike Mitchell).

The Freddie Krueger-esque zombies themselves are more human than the full mask creatures from ‘ZM2’, which is probably budget necessitated, and there are plenty of them here. Luca Boni has a flair for these kind of pictures and succeeds mainly in the bleakness of the situation. He’s directed several other films in this genre, one of which appears to be another sequel to this, entitled ‘Eaters: Rise of the Dead.’ Sadly, a couple of the more anticipated deaths toward the end of the film actually take place off-camera. Worst offender is that of General Carter, whose death the viewer has been anticipating throughout the film and we don’t see it! There’s also a spot of unwelcome and unnecessary moral philosophising from the remaining heroes – but other than that, I really enjoyed this. There are some very enjoyable twists and turns along the way of the thinly-spread plot that keeps the audience on its toes. It isn’t flawless, but I would certainly look forward to any possible Zombie Apocalypse 3.

As a coda: there is a bizarre end scene that comes from nowhere but provides a satisfying topless bloodbath towards throughout the end credits. It proves if nothing else that, although the threat featured throughout this picture may have been curtailed, there are still plenty more of the living dead ‘out there.’