Love Bite (2012)

  • Year: 2012
  • Released: 09 Nov 2012
  • Country: United Kingdom
  • Adwords: N/A
  • IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2027154/
  • Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/love_bite
  • Metacritics:
  • Available in: 720p, 1080p,
  • Language: English
  • MPA Rating: N/A
  • Genre: Comedy, Horror, Romance
  • Runtime: 91 min
  • Writer: Ronan Blaney, Cris Cole
  • Director: Andy De Emmony
  • Cast: Timothy Spall, Jessica Szohr, Ed Speleers
  • Keywords: loss of virginity, werewolf,
4.5/10

Love Bite Storyline

School is over and summer has begun in the dead-end seaside town of Rainmouth. While Jamies friends seem to be happy working in the local pie factory by day and looking for a shag by night, Jamie is bored out of his mind, running his pot-head mothers B&B. Hes desperate to get out of there. But when he meets beautiful, smart and sexy American traveler Juliana at a party, hes smitten the world is not so small after all.But soon after Julianas arrival, strange things start happening. One of the local teens goes missing at a party. Then, another. Jamie is warned by an enigmatic stranger that a werewolf is in town and preying solely on virgin flesh! The only way to be safe seems to be to pop your cherry. (But that cant be true can it?)As the locals are picked off one by one, the boys fear that a werewolf is indeed after them. And for all their talk, it turns out none of them have ever had sex beforePretty soon, everyone is dying to get laid…

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Love Bite Movie Reviews

story line holds together remarkably well for a film about werewolves

I thoroughly enjoyed this film. (So much so that I have now seen it twice.) True there is quite a lot of all the (crude) stuff that other reviewers have mentioned, but there is also a story line that holds together remarkably well for a film about werewolves. In the course of the film suspicion falls on various characters as to which one is actually becoming the werewolf at the time of the full moon. I felt at times I was watching a murder who-done-it. By the end of the film all the earlier ‘loose ends’ are tied up in a satisfying way that makes logical sense of the script. The film’s characters are, to a greater or lesser extent, larger than life (if not downright quirky) – but no more so than might be reasonably expected in a film of comic fantasy. All in all I found this to be a very original story. It was well paced and kept me interested from start to finish. The seaside setting was also refreshing and occasionally provided a picturesque backdrop. In my opinion Love Bite is well worth seeing (at least once). 6/10.

The Inbetweeners + horror – humour = Love Bite

I don’t like to run down British films. I knew it was going to be pretty low budget, but I’ve seen plenty of cheap and fun films. However, this time – when you’re dealing with monsters – budget does tend to matter.

Love Bite is about a group of four teenage boys in a (fictional) English coastal town who end up being stalked by a (virgin-loving) werewolf. It’s billed as a ‘sexy, comedy, horror’ film. The problem is… if fails on all three of those tags.

It’s not sexy. There’s sex in it. In fact, there’s near CONSTANT talk of sex all the way through it. Sometimes it’s supposed to be funny. Other times not. Either way, it’s hard to tell, as none of it was particularly amusing. The lead actress is American, Jessica Szohr. She’s sexy (and also the best actress in the entire film), but if you want to only see a sexy girl, I’m sure you can look enough up on the internet without having to watch this film.

It’s also not funny enough to be a comedy. It thinks it’s funny, but it isn’t. From the start I saw they were trying to be like the (classic) Inbetweeners. However, whereas the Inbetweeners lads were all different and amusing, here we only have one likable character (a Simon rip-off) and three utter vile idiots who are nothing more than Jay-wannabes (only Jay’s dialogue, although also crude, was amusing and well-written).

The film may be about werewolves, but there isn’t enough budget for gore and decent monsters. Seriously, if it wasn’t for the bad language and sexual nature, I’d let a child watch this film for all the gore and ‘horror’ that’s in it.

I wish I could have liked this film, but it just dragged and I was praying for it to end. The best part about it was the police sergeant’s daughter who had some great lines and came off as something other than a clichéd stereotype.

http://thewrongtreemoviereviews.blogspot.co.uk/

This is one to avoid

Rainborough-on-sea is a down-at-heel English seaside resort, home to Jamie (Ed Speleers) and his friends. Jamie is a likable, normal sort of lad, a good looking virgin who lives at home in his slutty mother’s guest house. His friends are witless, charmless, graceless losers. Into Jamie’s life comes the gorgeous Juliana (Jessica Szohr), an American roving reporter for a travel website (you can tell she’s gorgeous because she frequently walks in slow motion). A mutual interest develops, but Juliana appears to be the target of suspicions from the strange new resident at the guest house, Sid (Timothy Spall). And locals start disappearing whenever the moon is full….

This sounded promising and the trailer had a couple of good gags, so I was hopeful that we would end up with a British horror/comedy to rival An American Werewolf In London, particularly after the dud that was Lesbian Vampire Killers. Plus, after Eragon, Ed Speelers could do with something to establish a bit of credibility.

Alas, both our hopes were dashed. Admittedly, they got some stuff right. The atmosphere of a British seaside resort well past its prime is conveyed effectively (I live in one such place and Clacton is another, doing a good job of looking fairly unattractive to holidaymakers – being filmed out of season also contributes here, too). Speleers is personable, Szohr is hot enough to sizzle, and there are one or two directorial flourishes which are pleasing. That’s about it, though.

Now let’s look at what is wrong. One, the 3 lads are simply awful (and the film knows they are awful because it has Jamie remark on that fact more than once). Two, the film is inhabited by a deeply unpleasant female equivalent of the other 3 lads: equally crude and crass and, as written, devoid of any sense of reality. Three, there is a police sergeant who is completely unbelievable. Four, the usually reliable Timothy Spall plays his character broad instead of straight, which removes any possibility that he might come across as amusing. Five, all attempts at humour falls flat – this film is not even slightly funny. Six, the film is not only not funny, it is also not even slightly horrific. Seven, the werewolf reveal, when it comes (you know it’s not going to be Juliana because she has been so obviously set up to be the werewolf from the start) is not shown clearly enough for you to be certain who it is. I think it was the police sergeant: if so, that doesn’t make sense, because Juliana has been following him around Europe – how can he be a roving werewolf and a resident Plod in some seedy British seaside resort? And, eight, the ending is just horrible – Juliana is infected, so Jamie infects himself, there is a crap animation of two werewolves going at it doggy style, then they go off to America to hunt virgins to feed on. Awful.

I do suggest avoiding this one.