Hitmen (2023)

• Year: 2023
• Released: 05 Jun 2023
• Country: United Kingdom
• Adwords: 2 nominations
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt16248294/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/hitmen
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p, 1080p
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: N/A
• Genre: Action
• Runtime: 109 min
• Writer: Savvas D. Michael
• Director: Savvas D. Michael
• Cast: Eric Roberts, Charlie Rawes, Jan Anderson
• Keywords:

5.4/10

Hitmen Storyline

Michael Hero, a powerful CEO, seeks vengeance for the murder of his grandson by offering a one-million-dollar bounty for the assassination of his grandson’s accidental killers, attracting the world’s leading assassins to the task at hand.

Hitmen Photos

Hitmen Torrents Download

Hitmen Subtitles Download

Hitmen Movie Reviews

Don’t waste your time !

I couldn’t even sit through half of this drivel !

I don’t know what was worse, the acting, the dialogue, the plot or the fact that somebody considered this ready to be viewed !

I can see somebody put a lot of effort into trying to make this work and used as many cliches and cheap locations as they could think of but it misses the mark in so many ways ! The characterizations are weak so the actors have little to work with and clearly have no experience to draw upon so none of the characters are believable or interesting ! The scenarios are just childish and you need to ignore far too many plot holes, oversights and obvious mistakes that it makes the entire thing ridiculous. Add to that poor acting and deafening over dramatic music which is clearly intended to create atmosphere but just makes the entire experience really annoying and I really couldn’t take any more !

Is this how modern cinema is going now, just taking a single sentence plot and padding it out for almost 2 hours with an almost endless string of ridiculous scenarios using the smallest budget they could drum up and packing in lots of third rate locations to keep costs to a minimum ? Or do they really think this was a worthwhile effort ?

Unwatchable nonsense.

Who funds this garbage? A fifth grade drama class could write and direct a better movie. I can’t even call this a B-film, it would be an insult to every B-film ever made. This nonsense should be studied at film school on how not to make a film. Writer and director Savvas D. Michael should find another hobby, because filmmaking is not it. There is zero redeeming qualities to this film. It had a terrible and cheesy score, horrible cast direction, a slow, cliched and dull story, and the decision to narrate such boring nonsense made it even more annoying and cringeworthy. The acting was horrible, and creating all these annoying, cliched and phony characters will have you eye-rolling so much you’ll want to stick pencils in your eyes. 1/10 is generous, and if any film deserved a zero, this would be it.

oh dear

A truly dismal pile of steaming manure.

But for the constant tapping of the ten second fast forward button Hitmen would have been one hundred and nine minutes of my life wasted.

Hitmen could be described as raw, gritty and fun.

…If your idea of fun is falling off a motorcycle wearing Speedos.

Not an expreience to be recommended so I’m told.

From the lengthy introduction of the cliched collection of hitmen to the painfully drawn out finale and chopped ending Hitmen drowned in its own satirical spoofing of the genre.

I will never show displeasure at a Guy Richie movie again, I’ll even watch King Arthur Leg-end of the sword again.