Witless Protection (2008)

  • Year: 2008
  • Released: 22 Feb 2008
  • Country: United States
  • Adwords: 4 nominations
  • IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1001562/
  • Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/witless_protection
  • Metacritics:
  • Available in: 720p, 1080p,
  • Language: English
  • MPA Rating: PG-13
  • Genre: Comedy, Crime
  • Runtime: 97 min
  • Writer: Charles Robert Carner, Alan C. Blomquist
  • Director: Charles Robert Carner
  • Cast: Larry the Cable Guy, Jenny McCarthy-Wahlberg, Richard Bull
  • Keywords:
3.4/10
17/100
4% – Critics
46% – Audience

Witless Protection Storyline

The story centers on a small-town Sheriff who witnesses what he believes is a kidnapping, and rushes to rescue a woman. The kidnappers turn out to be F.B.I. Agents assigned to protect her and deliver her to a big Enron-type corruption trial in Chicago, but are later found to be on the take and are villains who are bent on killing her.—anonymous

Witless Protection Photos

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Witless Protection Movie Reviews

Forgive me…I laughed!

OK, rag on me if you want to but WITLESS PROTECTION is funnier than HEALTH INSPECTOR and DELTA FARCE. I’m not a big fan of Larry The Cable Guy but I do occasionally find myself laughing at his off color, backwoods redneck jokes. Though I do believe that out of all the “Blue Collar Comedy Tour” comedians that Ron White is the funniest hands down.

Anyway, Larry stars in this movie as a small town sheriff trying to make it big. Like FBI big. While hanging out at the local diner where his old lady works (Jenny McCarthy), Larry witnesses 4 ominous looking men dressed in black enter the diner with a blonde bombshell in tow (Ivana Milicevec). Larry, thinking that they have kidnapped the lady, follows them to the local gas station, causes a diversion and snatches the lady away from her entourage of kidnappers. But these men in black are actually FBI agents transporting the lady to Chicago, Illinois where she is the key witness in a big corruption case (think Enron). After awhile though, Larry thinks that these fellars are up to no good and actually want to do harm to the lady and not protect her. So Larry, using his small town Sheriff’s intuition, decides that he will deliver the lady to Chicago himself. And mayhem ensues upon the way.

OK, I will admit that there are jokes in here that I disliked in Health Inspector. Those being fart jokes. But damn, I found myself laughing more than I ever thought possible over a Larry The Cable Guy movie. One thing that I didn’t quite understand was the scene where Larry’s blows up his vehicle trying to make it out that the lady died in the fire. Anyway, it goes right from that scene to a scene where she is at the funeral home, in the casket, and the bad guys show up and Larry tells them that she is dead and they just accept it. Now, I really don’t think that the lady’s body would go right from the scene of the accident to the funeral home, all ready for public viewing. But, being that it is a Larry The Cable Guy movie, I guess I should just throw all logic right out the window.

Better than Health Inspector? Yes. Better than Delta Farce? Yes. A great movie? No. But there are worse ways you could pass an hour and a half of your life.

loaded with redneck humor

If you are a fan of the redneck then you will love this movie. Larry the cable guy plays the ultimate country, hick deputy. First he has a hot girlfriend, played by Jenny Mccarthy, which makes you wonder how he could land a girl like her, but that’s before she starts talking. She loves all his critters too. Larry sees this hot blond, Madeleine, come in with several suits in a black SUV. His first thought is she’s been kidnapped, so he kidnaps her. They get chased by the FBI all the way up to Chicago. Madeleine is a witness. Larry thinks the FBI guys with her are corrupt. He basically gets all these ideas from watching TV shows like cops. And Madedleine has some sort of key and they are looking for a computer disk. It was sort of confusing.

Basically, if you watch this, forget about the plot because the movie is all about the redneck jokes. While I didn’t find it LOL, it was still amusing. Better than a lot of comedies.

FINAL VERDICT: If you like ” you might be a redneck if”jokes, then this movie is right up your alley. If you don’t like hill billy’s then, I say skip this film.

proof that witlessness can actually be fun

Larry Stalder is a small town sheriff’s deputy with a sagging midsection and a grandiose dream of one day becoming an agent for the FBI. He doesn’t exactly enhance his chances of fulfilling that dream when he “rescues” a woman whom he mistakenly believes has been kidnapped by what he thinks is a gang of sunglass-wearing mobsters. In actuality, they are federal agents transporting a whistle-blower to a trial in Chicago where her testimony could spell big trouble for a powerful, Enron-type CEO with whom she was once romantically involved. A lengthy cross country chase ensues with the agents hot on the heels of this nitwit law enforcer and his unwitting “hostage.”

Armed with crime-fighting knowledge he’s gleaned primarily from cable TV, and with a malapropism for every occasion, Larry bumbles his way from one outlandish situation to the next, somehow managing to stay one step ahead of the authorities at all times.

Larry the Cable Guy has that rare ability to perform low comedy routines without having to resort to self-conscious mugging to garner laughs. Likewise, Ivana Milicevic, Eric Roberts, Joe Mantegna, Jenny McCarthy and a whole host of other comic actors throw themselves into their roles with a great deal of abandon and aplomb.

The humor is broad (to put it mildly), but it is more often fleet-footed than flatfooted, and the whole enterprise is so dopey and good-natured that you may just find yourself chuckling right along with all the goofiness – provided, that is, you can put your brain on hold for the full hour-and-a-half that the movie takes to play itself out.