Bloodz vs. Wolvez (2006)

Horror /
2.2/10

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Bloodz vs. Wolvez Movie Reviews

Awful, without a doubt.

Who gave this a score of “10”? It’s hard to believe anyone involved in this production was savvy enough to register here.

The main conflict in this movie is not the well-established cinematic trope of enmity between vampires and werewolves, but…gentrification? The werewolves are street people, and the vampires are buying up property and gentrifying it. That’s the high-concept at work here.

Hey, I saw this at an Earth Day party this year, 2007–I see someone else made a comment on April 29. Maybe we saw it together!

The make-up, if I remember correctly, was surprisingly subtle–not in a good way–but, like, in a they-weren’t-really-prepared-to-make-a-monster movie way. I mean, werewolves are hairy, they rip their clothes, and they have fangs. I think we all get that. They aren’t just slovenly and crude.

Watchable only as a curiosity–stay away.

Total Crap

This is one of the crappier movies out there, just another idiot who wanted to get in on the recent vampire/werewolf craze. The scenes are poorly executed and the plot line is mediocre at best. I sadly only managed to get through 15 minutes of this movie before I could take no more and popped the disc out. But on the upside, they at least put some decent work into cover designs as the cover actually looks pretty cool; still, I hate it when you spend money on something that LOOKS good on the cover and then find out that it is complete, total crap. Nothing personal fellas…but next time leave it to the professionals. I’d strongly advise against this movie to all you vampire/werewolf fans.

Wow. I mean….wow.

*** SPOILERS (I think) ***

So not since Vampire Assassin have I come across something so….Vampire Assassin-ish.

Much like the aforementioned movie, I came across it when different friends of mine attempted to discard a movie that they said they could not stand through the opening credits.

Intrigued, if not morbidly curious, I popped the movie in to be taken to depths of the human soul I was not cognizant to.

It was almost like watching something on YouTube, or one of those freak instances where people have a camera rolling and leave it on, whilst doing things in front of it. That in itself is probably the most accurate description I have on this movie.

Sure, I could talk about the chiq-on-chiq faux-action, the wolvez barking at passing cars, the scenes taking place in furniture-less model homes (and then trying to explain it), the monosyllabic vocabulary, an interesting scene involving a guy popping a squat and so forth and so on, but it’d never really prep anyone about anything about this movie.

BUT, because I enjoy movies like these to no end, I highly encourage those with a morbid and masochistic view on flicks to seek this out and indulge. It’s beyond awesomely bad and it’s just….there. Rarely do you ever walk away from a DVD questioning the meaning of your existence.

This one was really a toss up between a 1 and a 10. Both hold a special place in my heart.

Now I need to find Vampiyaz.

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