Lycan Colony (2006)

• Year: 2006
• Released: 21 Mar 2006
• Country: USA
• Adwords: N/A
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0795416/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/lycan_colony
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: N/A
• Genre: Horror
• Runtime: 90 min
• Writer: Rob Roy (screenplay)
• Director: Rob Roy
• Cast: Karl Bertelmann, Sean Burgoyne, Kadrolsha Ona Carole, Libby Collins
• Keywords: werewolf, lycanthrope,

1.6/10

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Lycan Colony Movie Reviews

Bad is bad, but this is bad BaD BAD!

Holy cow, I never thought I would ever find a contender for worst movie ever made since “Manos: Hands of Fate” or “Birdemic: Shock and Terror.” Yes, I’m a Rifftrax fan. I’d be shocked if anyone came across this dungheap by any other means. It feels like a movie someone made with their phone just to show it to friends and family, then hide it away forever on an external hard drive, only to be found and made fun of years later by posterity, and eventually forgotten forever.

Just like the films previously mentioned, every scene of this film, every SECOND, is a firm example of what NOT to do when making a film. And, despite how horribly made it was, it’s still got enough entertainment value to at least amuse a room full of drunk college roommates. Seriously, it’s perfect to show to any film student, whether they are self-proclaimed, conceited “movie buff” posers, or legitimate film scholars, this film should count as a good lesson of everything to avoid doing when making a movie.

Worth a view like “Sharknado” was worth a view, nothing more. PLENTY of horrible, raw material to guffaw at. From the horrible special effects, to the laughable “Geddy Lee” wanna-be creepfest bartender, you’ll be roaring in fits of laughter in no time.

And side note: I’ll be DAMNED if the makers of this cinematic twaddle weren’t fans of Supernatual. I mean, come on. “Hunters” who were raised by a hunter father?!? Really??!?

This Is and Always Will Be The Worst Film Ever Made

If I could have given this “movie” a 0 I would have. The spoiler is the following, and this is all you need to know”

What is there to say about Rob Roy and his film Lycan Colony…? First off, BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! That was well deserved because this film is absolutely the worst film ever made. In all my life’s experience I have never seen such a horrible piece of crap. If there were a real Lycan colony full of werewolves in real life and they found out about this film called Lycan Colony they would go after Rob Roy for everything he’s got, limbs and all. I feel like I was shot in the face and dragged out into the public by the most uninteresting, dull, and inept creature ever created after seeing this movie. Any time I attempt to piece together what it’s reasoning is, or why a certain shot (if you can call anything in this movie “a shot”) is the way it is my mind starts to decay more and more into despair. Lycan Colony is film-making Hell, and Rob Roy is the Devil. I ordered this movie, hearing how awful and hysterical it was from friends who attended the super duper hyped up “world premiere,” and I never imagined something this God awful. First off, I’m pretty sure this DVD comes from Rob Roy’s “studio,” meaning his basement/garage, and second he lives only thirty minutes away from me. The DVD took A MONTH A HALF to get to my house! That is too long for a guy who lives nearly three towns over! I have never regretted anything in my life more than paying for a DVD copy of Lycan Colony. There is no reason why a person who has never made a film in his entire life before should have been able to convince a bunch of poor, used people for his own screwed up creations and get away with it. Because of the shame and pointlessness of the “film” (if you can call it that) Rob Roy should owe each cast/crew member (if there were any besides himself) $10,000,000 in damages and the biggest apology ever to have existed. My mind becomes a plate of maggot infested brain fluids with a side of melted Jell-O every time somebody mentions the movie Lycan Colony. What’s even worse is if I hear the names Rob or Roy, I completely get on edge. My hairs stand up, my heart rate fastens, and I start to panic. Please, I beg all of you who are even considering seeing this movie, just turn away. It’s not worth your life.

Thanks a lot Rob Roy… You suck.

• Nicholas J. Krassowski

When a bunch of friends get together and say, “Let’s make a werewolf movie!”

This film features a town or group of werewolves, just like the film The Howling! And that is about the kindest thing I can say about this drek. Obviously, a film made by amateurs that somehow got enough momentum behind it that it took off and ended up being saw by more people than those who made this film’s family. Very cheaply made, very bad special effects and horrible editing make this thing almost headache inducing. Also, strange uses of green screens as they have the actors at the locations and at other times you can tell they are in a room.

The story, a trio of hunters are about to kill a young boy, but the boy is a wolf and soon they are all torn to pieces. Then we switch focus onto a family where the father is a brain surgeon who killed a person on the operating table while intoxicated and now live in the Lycan colony. A brother and sister come to find out what happened to their dad while the son of the couple gets coerced into the cemetery by a pretty girl. Soon, there is a brawl in two different bars or something that makes no sense and the night is very blue.

Yeah, this thing is horrible as not only was it made on the cheap, it also is incoherent as all get out. They focus on the family and you think they are the main characters, then it shifts over to the sister of the sister/brother duo. I almost suspect they were wanting to make an adult film, but none of the females wanted to get naked and have sex with their male costars so they just made a horrible werewolf movie instead.

So I would advise not hunting this film down as you will not be in for a treat. I find it baffling that this scores a 3.2 here on IMDB as it is much worse than films that rank lower. If I had to take a guess, more than a few family and friends of the film gave the film a high score due to their love for their family; however, it should be noted that I would have given this thing a two if I could have at least seen the girl that went after the son topless.