Frostbite (2005)

• Year: 2005
• Released: 15 Feb 2005
• Country: USA
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0431074/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/frostbite
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: R
• Genre: Comedy
• Runtime: 83 min
• Writer: Paul Miller, Steve Rogers
• Director: Jonathan Schwartz
• Cast: Peter Jason, Traci Lords, Adam Grimes, Phil Morris

	2.9/10
	34% – Audience

Frostbite Storyline

A group of misfit slackers battle a group of egotistical snobs for snowboarding rights to a ski mountain.

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Frostbite Movie Reviews

This movie gave me an unsettling, sinking feeling.

After a while I realized it was just my IQ slowly dropping. Frostbite is one of those pathetic movies where no one, and I mean no one, is even trying. I rooted for the dorky hero to die inside that trashcan (how did he even manage to fit in there, anyway?), Traci Lords, the queen of B movies, was horribly unfunny and ripped me and my friends off by not showing her boobs a single time.

The “characters”, though I use that term loosely, are people so exaggerated and one-dimensional they might as well have used cardboard cutouts. The “jokes” (I use this term loosely as well) are simply hilarious. A guy’s fart causes an earthquake. Roflcopter! Our “hero” gets a butt acupuncture by Traci Lords. Oh God, I can’t breathe! The blind guy uses the F word repeatedly! This is too much!!!

Say what you want about the acting but I thought Adam Grimes did a pretty good job at playing a mentally challenged snowboarder. Apart from that the sole source of entertainment value here is boobs. I think I counted three, maybe four pairs throughout the entire film, scattered over maybe five minutes of screen time. That’s five minutes worth watching out of 83 minutes of unfunny trash. Don’t watch this. Watch Barb Wire with Pamela Anderson – at least there was plenty of nudity and action in that trashy flick!(r#26)

SHE MUST BE GIGGLES

The original Canadian title for this film is “The Movie Out Here,” neither of these titles have anything to do with the plot. Adam (Robin Nielsen) plays a straight man to the sometimes zany comedy of this feature. He is a low level corporate Toronto lawyer who returns to his home town of Fernie to close a deal…a deal that will take his friend’s Theo’s (James Wallis) Business. Wallis comes across as a light version of Zach Galifianakis. Let’s throw a party to save Theo…

We add to this comedy, Sasquatch, a bad engagement (Lisa Durupt), a bad boss (Karin Konoval), two local cops (Nils Hognestad,Artine Brown) and a series of running jokes. The humor ranged from mildly humorous to a good over the top belly laugh. This is a typical 3 star teen-type comedy with the addition of a few great scenes such as the bathroom scene and the nursing lady (Rebecca Husain) on the plane.

Worth a Redbox rental for a fair comedy.

Parental Guide; F-bombs, brief sex and nudity (Jason Burkart-rear, Karyn Halpin-rear, Caley Dimmock, Anelore Popa, plus 2 girls during end credit roll)

how to NOT make a comedy

What makes this movie so damn bad? Is it the lame sub-par juvenile humor? Could it be the horrid “trendy” suck ass music? Perhaps the uninspired go nowhere story? Or maybe even the fact that Traci Lords gives her worst acting performance ever and to add insult to injury keeps all her clothes on throughout the length of this steaming turd sandwich. Regardless no matter what the reason this film sucks, the fact remains that it really REALLY does. I have never wished I could be watching a movie with Dean Cameron in it instead of what I was watching in my life, but “Ski School” is a masterpiece of comic genius compared to this travesty.

My Grade: F

Eye Candy: Nikol Nesbitt, Buffy Tyler and Suzanne Stokes all unleash their Tupperware tits

Where I saw it: Starz on Demand