The Thing Below (2004)

• Year: 2004
• Released: 07 Jan 2004
• Country: Canada
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0382443/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/the_thing_below
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: R
• Genre: Action, Adventure, Horror, Sci-Fi, Thriller
• Runtime: 94 min
• Writer: Raul Inglis, Keith Shaw
• Director: Jim Wynorski
• Cast: Billy Warlock, Kurt Max Runte, Catherine Lough Haggquist, Pete Graham
• Keywords: alien, sea monster, telepathy, government cover-up, drilling station,

2.4/10

The Thing Below Storyline

A top secret drilling platform in the Gulf of Mexico raises a dormant alien creature from the depths. Once loose, the creature goes on a murderous rampage.

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The Thing Below Movie Reviews

From the darkest depths…danger!

A team of researchers led by Captain Jack Griffin(Billy Warlock)and Professor Anna Davis(Catherine Lough Haggquist)answer a distress call from a top-secret oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico. The team is perplexed to find the remote drilling platform is much like a ghost ship. Searching for answers, crew members begin to disappear one-by-one. It comes apparent a mysterious creature bred beneath the ocean floor is hell-bent on survival. Danger is unimaginable and escape is dreadfully doubtful.

Film quality is inconsistent and the CGI is interesting, but totally too noticeable for any fear factor. The old western fast draw gunfight is ridiculous. The lurking creature trying to strike terror actually seems impotent. The cast also features: Kurt Max Runte, Peter Graham Gaudreau, Kiara Hunter and Warren Christie.

This movie certainly delivered

Now, call me strange, but I like to watch the occasional gash movie and I have to say, this movie tops it.

Yes, the script was so cheesy mice were asking where party was, the cgi looked like they were done on a ZX Spectrum, the acting was appalling but it was great. For gash, it was the gashest. Had to watch it over three nights just to fully appreciate how delightfully bad this movie was.

You have to wonder who read the script and said “This is good.”, as every rotten line in creation was stuffed into it. And the actors were obviously giving it their all, which just made it funny.

Worth a watch if you want a laugh, but definitely not worth taking seriously, and definitely not worth getting annoyed about. Good grief, even the synopsis of the movie was telling you it was gash.

Has nothing to recommend it

I saw The Thing Below as, regardless of a movie’s reputation, genre, age or how it looks, I’ve always believed in giving movies a fair chance. I had nothing else to do so I went ahead and watched it anyway. Having sat through the whole thing, I honestly wish I hadn’t and am surprised that I even made it to the end. Even when giving it a fair chance, The Thing Below is still one of the worst movies I have seen in a long time, can’t even remember the last time when I saw a movie with no redeeming values whatsoever, and possibly even ever. An obvious starting point in summing up what was wrong with The Thing Below(which is enough to fill an essay on how not to make a movie) would be the technical values. The interiors and lighting look very drab and the editing choppy. There are scenes as well that look as though they were edited from other movies and very clumsily too. The special effects actually look as though they were thrown into the movie at last minute through desperation with a very unfinished look to them. Other commentators have said that some of the worst special effects they’ve ever seen are in The Thing Below, and I really cannot argue against that. The sound effects manage to be both muddied and bizarre, while the music was so dull and generic that I can’t even remember it.

There is absolutely nothing believable in the dialogue either, there is so much cheesiness and awkwardness that it is enough to make your toes curl. In regards to the story it is highly derivative, but considering that this is hardly the first movie to have this problem I can kind of temporarily forgive it. But the cobbled-together structure, cringe-worthy parody-like approach to scenes, sluggish pacing and a complete lack of atmosphere, suspense and thrills I cannot forgive. Every character is underwritten and obnoxious, even the beginning had scientists behaving in a mind-numbingly stupid way. The titular monster was not menacing or memorable in the slightest, the movie doing absolutely nothing to develop it, its terrible design being the least of its problems. While a lot of the actors don’t seem to have a clue what type of movie they are in, throughout there is a very strange mix of over-earnestness and disengaged blandness and it was really painful to sit through. To conclude, an extremely poor movie with nothing to recommend at all. 0/10 Bethany Cox