Skyscraper (1996)

• Year: 1996
• Released: 24 Jul 1996
• Country: USA
• Adwords: N/A
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0114467/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/skyscraper
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 480p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: R
• Genre: Action, Thriller
• Runtime: 96 min
• Writer: William Applegate Jr. (screenplay), Joseph John Barmettler (screenplay)
• Director: Raymond Martino
• Cast: Anna Nicole Smith, Richard Steinmetz, Branimir Cikatiæ, Calvin Levels
• Keywords: terrorism,

2.9/10

Skyscraper Storyline

Carrie Wink (Anna Nicole Smith) is a beautiful and voluptuous helicopter pilot employed by a company (Heliscort) that offers heli-taxi transport to high level clients. She is married to Gordon Wink (Richard Steinmetz), a detective with the LAPD, with whom we see some flashbacks of their relationship.Fairfax (Charles M. Huber), a ruthless South African criminal mastermind prone to quoting Shakespeare, is intent on collecting a series of four interlocking electronic devices or circuits that can somehow “shift the balance of power in the world.” It is not in any way explained how these devices will achieve this, other than mention that it is involved with satellite tracking, that a whole city could be destroyed and a Third World country is in danger. Through deception and violence he has managed to acquire three of the devices.Carrie, unbeknownst to her, has shuttled two of Fairfaxs goons to the site of one of their exchanges. The location of the fourth device, tucked away in the Zitex building, an 86-floor skyscraper in downtown Los Angeles, is the scene where most of the drama unfolds as Fairfax sets his sights on securing the last device.Carrie is again called to pick up a pair of VIPs, who this time turn out to be Fairfax himself and his French assistant Jacques (Jonathan Fuller). She takes them to the Zitex building, where Fairfax has his band of terrorists take over the entire security system and liquidate the security guards as well appropriate an entire floor. Somehow there seems to be very few people in the 86-floor building.He meets up with Cranston (Eugene Robert Glazer), the possessor of the fourth device. As with the previous three deliverers of the devices, Fairfax plans on killing him. Cranston is mortally wounded in a shootout. Before entering the building, Cranston had suspected trouble, so his companion went in unseen. Before he dies, Cranston escapes with the suitcase holding the device and meets up with Carrie, who helps him up to the roof. He gives her the suitcase and admonishes her to keep it away from Fairfax at all costs.Carrie is hotly pursued over the roof by a muscular goon. With no way out but over the top, she jumps into a window washer’s rig. She attaches herself to a steel winch cable and drops many floors down the side of the building at the speed of gravity until she is brought to a halt by the end of the cable. Now, suspended and dangerously vulnerable to the gunman on the roof, who is shooting repetitively at her, she avoids being shot by constantly swinging around. Carrie finally crashes through a window just as the gunman destroys the winch with machine-gun fire, causing the cable to break free.Carrie hides the suitcase in a trash trolley. She finds a young boy playing on his toy bike and protects him (the boy’s mother has been shot previously; she was blonde and was mistaken for Carrie earlier). Carrie meets up with a small but comically gung-ho security guard and asks for his gun. Now armed, she proceeds back to the floor where she knows that hostages have been taken.Carrie helps confuse the terrorist operating the surveillance cameras by lighting fires in the waste paper bins, causing the fire system to alert the LA fire brigade as well as disabling some monitors. Fairfax and his gunmen capture her and offer the freedom of the hostages for the location of the suitcase. Carrie witnesses a male hostage killed in cold blood by the female terrorist, after he attempts to exchange his own freedom for the $100,000 he has stolen from the building’s computer accounts. Carrie reveals the location of the suitcase and is taken into a room by a guard with an obvious sexual intent.Carrie’s LAPD officer husband, Gordon (Richard Steinmetz), has been investigating the strange goings-on around town. He heads for Zitex (not knowing his wife is also there) and co-incidentally stumbles upon his wife’s mobile phone. Fearing for his wifes safety, Gordon leads Fairfaxs men on a chase around the building. Carrie is at the point of being raped by her guard before she stabs him in the groin with a knife and shoots him dead.Now she comes up behind Natasha the terrorist (Deirdre Imershein) and ruthlessly shoots her in the back, freeing the hostages. A previous flashback of Carrie shooting a handgun with her husband shows her to be an expert shot. This flashback also takes the liberty of showing her second sex scene; the first shows her naked in the shower and then in bed with her husband. Her other physical skills — in combat — are still to be revealed.Gordon is being physically beaten up by a terrorist who is expert in hand-to-hand combat but is rescued by his wife. Fairfax finally finds the device, kills his right-hand man Jacques and heads for the roof, hoping to coerce Carrie at gunpoint into flying him out. He has not bargained on Gordon also being there (Gordon also has the young boy in tow). Gordon is shot in the shoulder. Carrie knocks the gun from his hand and engages Fairfax with swift kicks and punches which ends with Fairfax falling from the 86-story skyscraper to the street below.The young boy is reunited with his blonde mother, who has not been killed after all, as an injured Carrie and her husband enter an ambulance.

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Skyscraper Movie Reviews

Die Hard meets Barb Wire

Imagine that you put Barb Wire in a skyscraper, after the Die Hard model, add incredibly stupid dialog, and some free swinging 48″ (or however big Anna Nicole Smith’s mammaries are) appendages. Then you have more or less this movie.

If you are a man, the only thing that will hold your attention are the scenes where Anna Nicole Smith shows off her transplants.

You might want to watch the film if you are masochistic or have nothing better to do (like watching paint dry?).

The plot is: Tall high rise is taken over by terrorists, this building have a brand new state of the art electronic security system, that allows you to monitor and control the building from 1 central location.

The bad guys claim to be a international terrorist group in order to avoid detection of their real motive. However there is a fly in the ointment in that there are – in this case – two good guys loose in the building trying to spoke their plans.

The action consists of crawling through air vents, setting fires in order to call the fire department, picking off the terrorists one by one, ending in a fight where the leader gets thrown off the roof, to crash to his death 86 floors below. Other terrorists are also thrown out the windows to land on police cars……

Sound familiar ??????

The primary good guy is Anna Nicole Smith, proudly showing off her mammary development (transplant???) at various times, probably to keep the attention of the the few guys watching the movie.

Please do yourself a favor – don’t see this movie if you have any choice.

Die Hard rip off with some porn

I am actually a fan of bad low budget movies as they can bring some special entertainment than not well made movie ever can. This is one of those movies, and so I rate it accordingly to the C (or D? )movie genre.

It takes the big hit of that time, Die Hard, and makes a hilarious, action filled version of it. It is here to please both men and women. Men will appreciate the view of some humongous boobs and women get a main action hero to be female and a bunch of male terrorists who look like they could be pron stars themselves only not too much gets revealed, we just enjoy watching them running in their leather pants and tank tops revealing their muscles.

The soft core pornography scenes are both erotic and funny. The first one with the shower was pretty good, the other one which is Carrie’s daydreaming about banging her husband is extremely hilarious. I mean, when one is trapped with terrorists in a skyscraper what can be a better thing to do than dreaming about banging your husband in some hay, right?.

Anna Nicole Smith was a beautiful woman. But in this one she looks kind of weird. I mean what is it that she kept on doing with her mouth? Was it just a bit dysfunctional after some plastic operation or was it her special acting technique? I have no idea, I just wished she would stop.

Acting in this movie was not of very high class. I am not even talking about Anna Nicole Smith who was the worst. Her “emotions” or better yet the total lack of them was hilarious. The rest of the cast is you see was with few exceptions not even really active in acting. Most of them have only a few credits on their IMDb lists. So this movie’s acting looked very amateurish, which by the way didn’t bother me too much. It looked like a bunch of people had some hell of a fun while doing it. And it seems they were not really trying to go for better acting, maybe they even tried to make it worse. Nobody was trying to hide that Anna Nicole was obviously reading most of her lines without giving them much thought, it seems if she wanted to at least act a bit, she would. I have watched actual porn where actors acted better between sex scenes. This seems like it was for our entertainment.

The plot has so many holes and unexplainable things to it that I won’t even bother. The dialogue is hilarious, because of how badly it is written.

What they did well with, I must say were the action scenes, if we take into the account it being a low budget film. No I am not talking about the funny looking fighting scene when Anna Nicole does some weird sort of kung fu or whatever it is, or when the stud terrorists run shooting from their guns holding them in a way that makes it impossible. But the scene with the truck and explosions is wonderful. I must say they also add a lot of excitement to the movie.

So I rate the movie above average but not much further because it made its job to give me great entertainment as a bad movie, but yet I have seen so many others that were even more crazy and ridiculous that this one will not be sticking in my memory so much.

It Burns! It Burns!!

If you turn the number sideways, you’ll see why I gave this movie an 8. Check the gratuitous shower scene about 10 minutes into the movie if you don’t get me.

Friends, this movie is HOWLINGLY BAD. You’ll laugh until tears flow from your eyes, not believing the sights and sounds assaulting your being from the screen. From Anna’s non-existent acting, to the bad scenery-chewing performance of the actor playing the lead terrorist (just what country is he supposed to be from, Badaccentia?), this is prime Badfilm. There are a ton of explosions on offer, which are nicely photographed, but are so (I’ll risk using the word again) gratuitous that the plot (most obvious Die Hard rip-off ever) can’t be taken seriously for more than a nanosecond.

Everything about this film screams: “Don’t take me seriously!”

On that level, the discriminating fan of bad action films will enjoy this heartily. Anyone familiar with the work of Andy Sidaris will be in familiar territory here.

I feel that this movie is best enjoyed under the influence of several adult beverages. I would suggest a double feature for a night of viewing, this film and David Heavener’s KILL CRAZY(see my review of that film as well). Now that’s some red-blooded American entertainment. Lots of stuff gets blowed up real good! Get the pony keg and the nachos, dude!