Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn (1983)

• Year: 1983
• Released: 19 Aug 1983
• Country: United States
• Adwords: 1 win
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0085935/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/metalstorm_the_destruction_of_jared_syn
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: PG
• Genre: Action, Adventure, Romance
• Runtime: 84 min
• Writer: Alan J. Adler
• Director: Charles Band
• Cast: Jeffrey Byron, Michael Preston, Tim Thomerson
• Keywords: monster, laser, miner, space western, desert, sword and sorcery,

3.9/10

Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn Storyline

A seeker named Dogen rescues Dhyana after her father is murdered by the evil Jared-Syn. To avenge her father’s death, Dogen must find Jared-Syn’s hideout in the mysterious “Lost City”, but the only person who knows where it is an aging, burned-out seeker named Rhodes. Along the way, they will need to do battle against the hunter Baal and his Cyclopean minions for engaging Jared-Syn in a final encounter.—Jean-Marc Rocher

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Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn Movie Reviews

Acceptable low-budget sci-fi/action junk

The evil Jared-Syn (a perfectly slimy and hateful portrayal by Mike Preston) terrorizes the small desert planet of Lemuria by sucking the lifeforce out of folks with his storage crystals. It’s up to heroic ranger Dogan (stolid Jeffrey Byron) to stop the foul villain. While the basic premise offers a pretty cool blend of Western and science fiction elements complete with the inevitable gunslinger showdown in the middle of a tiny mining town and a fierce tribe of Cyclopean beings standing in for your usual savage Apaches, said nifty premise is undermined by Charles Band’s leaden direction, a plodding pace, Alan J. Adler’s murky script, and cut-rate (not so) special effects. Despite his three day stubble and funky rock star leather pants, Byron qualifies as a decidedly insipid protagonist who fails to elicit much sympathy from the viewer. Fortunately, Byron’s blandness is compensated for by nifty contributions from the always dependable Tim Thomerson as boozy, burnt-out ex-ranger Rhodes and the ever-imposing Richard Moll as tough one-eyed warrior leader Hurok. The lovely Kelly Preston as Dyana makes for a suitably plucky and fetching damsel in distress, veteran character actor Larry Pennell briefly pops up as Dyana’s grizzled miner father Aix, and R. David Smith is appropriately repellent as Jared-Syn’s vicious and hideously disfigured son Baal. Mac Alhberg’s rough, but fairly slick widescreen cinematography makes nice occasional use of strenuous slow motion, offers a few groovy psychedelic and atmospheric smoky visual flourishes, and shoots the dusty’n’desolate locations in an effectively gritty manner. Richard Band’s robust’n’rousing orchestral score works overtime to pump some energy into the generally limp proceedings. The action set pieces are competently done and reasonably exciting, but lack that extra zing to pack more of a powerful impact. A strictly passable time-waster.

Early 80s 3-D sci-fi with enough to keep your mind busy

Director Charles Band followed up PARASITE, his first successful foray into the 3-D world, with this futuristic action-adventure film. It is pretty obvious he is going for a mix of THE ROAD WARRIOR and STAR WARS, but I’m not entirely sure it is successful and at times comes off looking more like MEGAFORCE. The action is good though and the film moves at a quick clip. I’m sure the 3-D was pretty impressive in the theater as all sorts of objects are chucked at the screen. There is also one psychedelic, TRON-inspired bit during the end chase that probably had audiences puking dayglo in the aisles. The acting is good though for a b-movie with Thomerson doing his best Han Solo and Richard Moll showing up as a leader of a group of Cyclops. The film “ends” with the most laughable cliffhanger where Jared-Syn gets away (so the title lied!) and Dogen vows, “I’ll find him in another dimension one day.” Huh? Obviously Band was hoping this would be a series but poor box office returns from a Universal theatrical distribution vetoed that idea and he moved on to start Empire Pictures (which kicked off production with THE DUNGEONMASTER, again starring Byron). Now if only someone could tell me what the hell METALSTORM means.

I’m still waiting for that sequel, Mr. Band.

This is another one of those very first movies I ever rented as a kid. It was childish love at first site. Watched it numerous times back then. Is it actually a good movie? I think I’ll just plead the 5th on that one.

Having just re-watched it, I’ll just say right away: METALSTORM: THE DESTRUCTION OF JARED-SYN is a blast and offers lots of (unintentional) laughs. Just throw the following elements into a blender: Post-Apocalyptic (vehicles & mutants), STAR WARS: RETURN OF THE JEDI (speed-bikers), western (showdown), Swords & Sorcery (quest, fights, and sock-puppet sand-creatures), fantasy (magical crystals and other nonsense), cyborg (or a dude basically enhanced by various metal-parts, including an extendable metal grab-claw arm that spits toxic LSD) and psychedelia (warped gateways into other dimensions). Plus, Tim Thomerson and Richard Moll are in it. This simply is a wonderful film.

Well yes, I’m biased when it comes to early Charles Band outings. This isn’t really a good movie (Damn, I did say it, didn’t I?), but it’s very enjoyable, cheesy & nonsensical stuff. All things I listed up here really are featured in this film, albeit not exactly in quality incarnations, if you know what I mean. And the special effects are dated and look silly sometimes, but there’s enough of those in the film to keep you amused. Compared to other early Charles Band films, METALSTORM definitely is a bit crazier and more action-packed than PARASITE (the “good” film) and THE ALCHEMIST (the “lesser” film) and would – in my humble opinion – make a perfect double feature with THE DUNGEONMASTER (aka RAGEWAR), together making up for a super-duper special effects extravaganza night fest. And if you can’t get with that, you’re a bit of a sourpuss, I’m afraid.

Good, bad, stupid, fun? Who cares! These films were made with enthusiasm. The kind that rubs off. At least on me it does. Blame my rating on nostalgia.