Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains (1982)

Comedy, Drama, Music /
6.7/10

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains Storyline

Ladies and Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains chronicles the surprisingly rapid rise to stardom for a very novice aspiring “rock” group made up of three teenage girls who can barely play instruments and in fact, have no drummer. Catching what is probably a rare rock concert in a small, working class town in Pennsylvania (although the movie was filmed in Vancouver), the girls, especially Corrine are taken by the dashing and exotic opening act, a British punk/new wave act called The Looters (who are in fact The Professionals, the band formed by Steve Jones and Paul Cook after the breakup of the Sexpistols although the lineup was altered for the film to showcase the more photogenic Ray Winstone as the singer and Paul Simonon, the bass player for The Clash).Corrine astutely observes that The Looters are not getting along at all with the headlining act, an aging glam group trying to cash in on the success of heavy metal by posing as its de facto parents, called Metal Corpses. Corrine quickly assesses her situation: she has just lost her mother to cancer and is going to be raised by an indifferent and small-minded aunt, she is going to grow up in a small, working class town with few prospects for anyone let alone an angry and creative young woman, and if there was ever a chance for her to chase the dream of instant celebrity, this is it. She cons The Looters with her womanly charms into believing that her “band” is a viable third act for the tour who will perform for little or no compensation. After some brief protest by her erstwhile band mates, they embark on a nationwide tour, lack of talent or actual songs be damned. Typical rock tour trials and tribulations ensue as expected, Corrine, an angry and sassy, but naive teenager pursues a romantic relationship with The Looters singer and in the process, she realizes that she can use her gender and sexuality as tools to manipulate men and get what she wants. The question rises as to whom is taking advantage of whom. After picking up some rock n roll tips from Ray Winstone, Corrine uses these and the connections he has with promoters and agents to finagle more exposure and fame for her band. She goes a step further and steals some songs

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains Photos

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains Torrents Download

720pbluray804.48 MB
Torrnet
magnet:?xt=urn:btih:20EC90E0E3DD5EC22AF106455F8DF6C55FE10D6A
1080pbluray1.61 GB
Torrnet
magnet:?xt=urn:btih:D9821601C21242CDF48990FAD318AE668E53BC6B

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains Subtitles Download

Englishsubtitle Ladies.and.Gentlemen.the.Fabulous.Stains.1982.enc1222k.720p.AMZN.WEB-DL.SiGMA
Spanishsubtitle Ladies and Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains (1982)

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains Movie Reviews

Textbook Cult Classic. Please don’t make it famous!

In the documentary “The Making of Ladies and Gentlemen the Fabulous Stains” (which you can find on YouTube), the narrator mentions that 83 million Americans have seen Star Wars: The Phantom Menace; then he adds he’s not sure if a total of 83 people have seen The Fabulous Stains.

This is the quintessential cult classic. Like the original Jerky Boys tape (remember that?) it has been copied & re-copied and passed around from one VHS to another for the last 20 years. In interviews, even the stars of the film say they haven’t seen the finished product. So if nothing else, you should feel special for having the opportunity to watch it.

I’m part of the nu-crowd, having found this movie at a Blockbuster going out of business sale last week and buying the recently-released DVD for $3. I can see instantly how it became a cult classic. First, it features a cast of respected musicians (Sex Pistols, The Tubes, The Clash) as well as a very young Laura Dern (Jurassic Park, Wild at Heart) and a lead actress whom I’m shocked I haven’t seen in any other films because she’s fabulous: Diane Lane.

Next we have a story about the underground music scene and a girl band’s rise to stardom which predicted the whole Madonna craze 2 years before Madonna’s debut album (as well as the Go-Gos and even Joan Jett). I think that’s what makes this a great film–how prophetically accurate it was. The “old rockers” of the 70s (with outrageous makeup on their faces) were clearing the way for badass chicks with attitude (and outrageous makeup on their eyes). As Diane eulogizes in the film “He was an old man in a young girl’s world.” That theme is something you have to keep in mind while watching this. At the time, aside from maybe Janis Joplin, rock music didn’t have a great history of bad girls, but audiences were demanding it. So not only does this film highlight the evolution of music, but it also foretells a new age of feminism in the industry.

For me, what made the film really enjoyable was its realism. Touring with a rock band isn’t all Ritz-Carlton and Leer jets, unless you’re the Rolling Stones. No, touring with a rock band is dirty, smelly, cramped on a malfunctioning tour bus with shady promoters, managers and rival bands with a lot of catty attitudes. I can’t think of any other film that tells it like it is.

The biggest flaw of this film is the ending. I won’t ruin it, but I’ll just say it was NOT the ending intended by the original writer Nancy Dowd (as the rumors go, Nancy was so angry at the reworked ending that she took her name off the credits). Indeed, the ending seems a bit incongruous. But at the same time it makes sense on certain levels, so maybe it turned out for the best.

Another problem is the way the film shows 15-year-old girls in a very sexual way. Sure, that’s realism (as Fee Waybill says in the documentary, ‘There was more sex & drugs going on behind the scenes than there was in the movie’), but it might–and should–make you feel a little uncomfortable watching a 15-year-old girl have sex. But hey, I guess that’s one of the reasons why this was never the ABC movie of the week, and instead it was quickly buried for 20 years.

So yeah, if you have a chance I think you should watch it. If nothing else, it’s a great nostalgic trip back to the music scene of the 80s. But it’s also very poignant in today’s world. Diane’s “meh” attitude toward life is exactly what confronts a lot of teens today in this increasingly cynical world.

I’m happy that this film managed to get released on DVD, otherwise I never would’ve seen it. I just hope it doesn’t get too popular, because that would kill some of its charm. I like the idea that there are only 82 other people who have seen it.

The best “punk” movie you’ve never seen.

Warning: Depending on how you look at it, this review contains spoilers.

I was fortunate enough to see Ladies and Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains in 1983 during its VERY limited “art-house” run at Western Washington University. It played along with other punk rock classics such as Lech Kowalski’s D.O.A. and Penelope Spheeris’s Decline of Western Civilization. Unfortunately, I did not appreciate the film at the time. I was a young punk who had these “purist” ideals about what punk was all about. (Didn’t we all?) I completely missed the film’s message against uniformed conformity. The only thing I appreciated about the film was its down-and-out ending with the ultimate demise of Diane Lane’s character.

Recently, at Seattle’s Experience Music Project I (along with a couple hundred other lucky individuals) was treated to a special screening of this nearly forgotten classic.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains is the story of Corrine “Third Degree” Burns (Diane Lane) and her all-girl punk band called The Stains (Laura Dern & Marin Kanter). Initially, The Stains are given a chance to tour backing up a young English punk band The Looters & an old washed up heavy metal act The Metal Corpses. The Looters are Paul Cook & Steve Jones of the Sex Pistols and Paul Simonen of The Clash. The Metal Corpses feature Fee “Hey, is there any coke in this coke?” Waybill and Vince Welnick of The Tubes. Eventually The Stains generate a media frenzy, due mainly to Corrine’s transparent blouse and rallying cries like “We’re the Stains and we don’t put out!” and “I’m a waste of time.” They attract a large following of “skunks” – young girls who adopt Corrine’s image as well as attitude.

I’ll stop here to throw a little trivia your way. During the beginning credit sequence, Rob Morton is credited as the writer, but as we all know it was Nancy “Slap Shot” Dowd who actually wrote the screenplay. According to interviews with Dowd, there was sexual harassment on the set with terrible conflicts with the film’s director Lou Adler. After a cameraman grabbed one of Dowd’s breasts, she walked off the set and asked for her name to be stricken from the film. Dowd’s confrontation caused Paramount to stall the release of the film. One year later, Paramount finally showed the film to a test audience (a group of spoiled Orange County brats). The audience whined about the downbeat ending. Waaaaah!!! To fulfill contractual obligations, Paramount released the film to literally a handful of “art houses.”

The Fabulous Stains sat moldering on the shelves at Paramount for a couple of years until the USA channel asked for permission to air the film on their popular late-night show, Night Flight. Paramount agreed, but some brain-dead studio exec wanted to add a “happy ending”. So, Paramount re-shot a confusing MTV style “happy ending” with Diane Lane, Laura Dern and Marin Kanter (THREE YEARS LATER!!!). These scenes are interesting to watch because Laura Dern had grown foot taller since the original filming. She ends up towering over her band-mates! Pretty funny.

More trivia: this will probably be the only time you will see Dangerhouse recording artist/owner (and punk legend!!!) Black Randy and his band, The Metrosquad perform their classic, “I Slept In An Arcade.” Black Randy died of an AIDS related illness after being offered a “dirty” syringe from Dangerhouse partner Dave Brown. In addition, Black Randy portrays a Mexican classical guitarist sneaking into an audition as part of an amusing cameo.

Still more trivia: It is interesting to see the base similarities between Ladies & Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains and Nancy Dowd scripted Slap Shot. Both films’ main characters originate from the dark-dreary steel-mill town of Charlestown and eventually wind up escaping their dead-end lives via tour bus.

Despite the “happy ending,” Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains should be required viewing for all those interested in punk history and to see the film that inspired many “riot-grrl” acts like Bikini Kill, Bratmobile, Cub, Sleater-Kinney and even Courtney “Hole” Love. Unfortunately, you will probably never see this film unless you buy a bootleg copy of it. It has never been available on video or DVD and Paramount has no plans on releasing it.

Tough, scrappy film has amazing moments…

Unreleased theatrical feature financed by Paramount was once an ’80s staple on the USA network (in their weekend “Night Flight” movie slot). It’s a satirical comedy-drama with music which finds angry, rebellious teen Diane Lane caught by reality-TV cameras getting fired from a fast food restaurant; soon, she, her sister, and a cousin hit the road with their barely-rehearsed punk band and find failure, success, unintended exploitation, and life’s little ironies outside of their blue-collar town. Reminiscent of the later “This is Spinal Tap”, the film has a sense of humor far more sly, less forced and obvious. Lane is so tough at first, one doesn’t know how to respond to her (she pushes everyone away); somewhere down the line she begins to soften and becomes more flexible, and you see the desperation underneath her scowl–you see her pathos just once, when she gives the bus-driver money for his brother (a subtle scene that speaks volumes). Harsh in both its writing and directing, unblinking in its teenage hostility, the film still manages to be funny (intentionally so) and with a cutting edge; it’s like a breath of fresh air to the disenfranchised. *** from ****

Related Movies