• Year: 1981
• Released: 05 Mar 1982
• Country: Italy, United States
• Adwords: N/A
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081677/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/the_last_shark
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p,
• Language: English, Italian
• MPA Rating: PG
• Genre: Horror
• Runtime: 88 min
• Writer: Ramón Bravo, Vincenzo Mannino, Marc Princi
• Director: Enzo G. Castellari
• Cast: James Franciscus, Vic Morrow, Micaela Pignatelli
• Keywords: beach, exploitation, shark attack, gore, surf, scuba diving,

4.3/10

The Last Shark Storyline

An enormous and angry 35 foot Great White Shark takes revenge on humans when they build a beach just for swimmers by a coastal town. After several shark attacks, and the Mayor does nothing to stop it, James Franisscus and Vic Morrow sail in pursuit to stop it.—

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The Last Shark Movie Reviews

Did they really think no one would notice the similarities?

Obvious mannequins are propelled skyward for some unexplained (and unintentionally funny) reason, as a shark, or in some scenes, a dolphin, terrorizes a small coastal community, just like in that other shark movie. Intro scene has seemingly never-ending windsurfing footage culminating with the shark causing the guy and his board to explode out and fly up out of the water! The bite marks in what’s left of the board look more like razor slashes, at angles which could not have possibly been made by a shark, as we go back to the “bite radius” bit from Jaws. And remember when the head in the boat scared Hooper (and us, the audience) in Jaws? There is even a rip off of that here, as we find an arm bitten off by the shark. And, aww, innit that cute, they even tied a pink balloon around the shark to track it. Are you kidding me? Is that the low rent substitute of Quint’s yellow barrels, pink ballons?

There actually is a little bit of tension toward the end of this one, in between bouts of unintended comedy, and some of the modelwork is amusing, The shark looks okay at a distance or at high angles, but when we’re shown the shark at closer angles and for longer amounts of time, we realise just how inferior to Jaws it really is.

Ron succumbs to a fate similar to Quint’s, in Peter Benchley’s original novel, but the film is too derivative and slowly paced to amount to much more than a third-rate ripoff. Such a close ripoff, in fact, that Steven Spielberg and co. took legal action against the makers of this one, and had the movie effectively banned.

L’ultimo squalo: Oh come on, it’s not that bad

The Last Shark otherwise known as Great White was quite a controversial movie around the time of it’s release.

Considered a Jaws (1975) ripoff and even released as a faux Jaws sequel in Japan (Complete with Jaws in the title) a lawsuit unsurprisingly hindered it.

Ranked in many worst movies ever made lists I expected something a lot worse than this. In fact truth be told it looks about on par with Jaws itself and almost managed to spawn a sequel.

Telling the story of a coastal resort that comes under attack from a great white shark during a wind surfing contest it’s pretty generic stuff but not all that awful.

The effects are considerably better than I expected, the performances are okay and if it weren’t for the fact it was so unoriginal it might be considered a passable film.

In a world awash with terrible shark movies, this isn’t actually one of them.

The Good:

SFX are great for its time

The Bad:

No originality

Soundtrack keeps sounding like Dolly Parton is about to regale us with 9 to 5

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

The confederates were big wind surfing enthusiasts

By walk out of the hospital I’m pretty sure he meant that she’d hop

Helicopters can’t land on water

Lacked Originality and Imagination

This movie begins with several teenagers enjoying a day at the beach with one particular person practicing for a wind surfing contest which is scheduled to begin in a couple of days. Fate has other plans however as a great white shark happens to be in the area and crushes the surfboard and devours the young man in the process. Later, after examining part of the surfboard a knowledgeable boat captain identifies the teeth marks found upon it and tells the leadership of the local town what is responsible. Unfortunately, the local mayor by the name of “William Wells” (Joshua Sinclair) has no plans for stopping the race because it would have an impact upon his political plans. So he devises a plan to keep the shark out of the area but what he doesn’t count on is the incredible size and power of the creature which manages to get inside the cove in spite of it all. Now rather than reveal any more of this movie I will just say that as a “Jaws clone” this movie totally lacked originality and imagination. As a matter of fact, if one were to fuse parts of “Jaws” with other parts of “Jaws 2” it would greatly resemble this particular film-minus the better acting and special effects. Naturally, there were a few slightly different scenarios here and there but for the most part it pretty much adhered to the same general themes presented previously. In any case, while there is only so much one can do with a story involving a large shark–other than having it devour those in the area-the similarities to the earlier films just mentioned were much too obvious to be easily ignored or dismissed and as a result I have to rate this movie accordingly. Below average.

• Year: 2024
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt14853700/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/possessions
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language:
• MPA Rating:
• Genre:
• Runtime: min
• Director:
• Cast:
• Keywords:

	4.3/10
	false% – Audience

Possessions Storyline

Follows a father who seeks a fresh start with his son after the loss of his wife, and purchased a storage unit facility sight unseen, but secrets buried behind the metal doors become a parent’s worst nightmare.

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Possessions Movie Reviews

Rather disappointing…

Initially I was lured into watching the 2024 horror movie “Possessions” because of the cover. I stumbled upon the movie by random chance here in 2024, and seeing it was a horror movie that I hadn’t already seen, much less actually was familiar with, then of course I sat down to watch it. I am a lifelong fan of the horror genre, after all.

I didn’t know what Clive Standen was starring in this movie, so it was quite a nice surprise to see his name on the screen and see him pop up on the screen. And that definitely instilled some expectations to the movie, despite the fact of not knowing what I was in for here.

Writer and director Brent Cote put together a rather generic, predictable, bland and disappointing storyline and script here, if I have to be bluntly honest. The movie started out well enough, but the narrative quickly reached a stand-still and then just seemed to run on fumes. Brent Cote just didn’t manage to construct something that takes the audience on a thrill ride, and there aren’t ups and downs along the way. Nay, the movie just sort of went straight out of a very flat direction, and thus there was no excitement to be found here.

There were elements to the narrative that had potential, but writer and director Brent Cote just failed to utilize on those, and that made for a very bland viewing experience. “Possessions” wasn’t the least bit scary, unless you are a newcomer to the horror genre and this is your introduction to the genre.

The acting performances in the movie were not capable of lifting up the narrative from the bland slump, because the actors and actresses virtually had very little to work with in terms of anything interesting from the script and character gallery.

Visually then you’re not in for anything grand, as “Possessions” isn’t a movie that utilizes special effects. There were a few effects throughout the course of the 89 minutes that the movie ran for. But you’re not in for anything memorable or extraordinary.

“Possessions” was a disappointing horror movie, and it is not one that I would recommend for fans of the horror genre to rush out and get to watch, nor for fans of Clive Standen to do so. And while I did manage to sit through the entire movie, I was only very mildly entertained, and this is definitely not a movie that I will ever return to watch a second time.

Once the movie came to an end after 89 bland minutes, I have to admit that I was left with an overwhelming sense of ‘was that really it?’

In fact, the movie’s cover over-sold the movie by a landslide. Don’t get suckered in by the cover, as I did.

My rating of “Possessions” lands on a generous four out of ten stars. If it wasn’t because of Clive Standen being in the movie, I would have rated it a flat three stars.

Have a cow man!.

Heavily influenced by the 80’s classics like The Shining, Cujo and The Exorcist this movie shows up in 2024…this raised many questions, specially…Why?.

And where did all The Simpsons money go?, I mean, you have to be pretty desperate for money to agree to do a movie like that. Obviously I’m talking about Bart Simpson himself in one of the worse characters a horror movie could have had. A psychologist who covered up an exorcism gone bad and under the suspicion of another one, immediately tried to send the kid to a mental institution.

Don’t be fooled by the title, it’s referring to the possession of belongings in a storage facility, because the only attempt for an exorcism is done off camera in plain daylight. No possession, nothing to see here.

• Year: 2019
• Released: 21 Oct 2019
• Country: Poland
• Adwords: 4 wins
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt11054928/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/the_last_loner
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: Polish
• MPA Rating: N/A
• Genre: Action
• Runtime: 72 min
• Writer: Amadeusz Kocan, Bartosz Wabno
• Director: Amadeusz Kocan
• Cast: Damian Ziembinski, Karol Kopiec, Grzegorz Halama
• Keywords:

	4.3/10
	false% – Audience

The Last Loner Storyline

The film tells a story about a young man, who enters the Zone. A place where fear and pain fills human hearts. Upon entering, he becomes a stalker and quickly learns that the zone is ruled by apathy and greed.

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The Last Loner Movie Reviews

• Year: 1993
• Released: 07 Jan 1994
• Country: United States
• Adwords: N/A
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109098/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/american_cyborg_steel_warrior
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: R
• Genre: Action, Sci-Fi
• Runtime: 94 min
• Writer: Bill Crounse, Boaz Davidson, Brent V. Friedman
• Director: Boaz Davidson
• Cast: Joe Lara, Nicole Hansen, John Saint Ryan
• Keywords: ship, kung fu, cyborg, post-apocalyptic future, terrorism, anarchy,

	4.3/10
	35% – Critics
	false% – Audience

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American Cyborg: Steel Warrior Movie Reviews

Austin VS. Cyborg: Who is the REAL Steel Warrior?

17 years after the apocalypse, the survivors live in destroyed cities patrolled by cyborgs. The cyborgs get their orders by sticking their fingers in ATM-like machines. A human woman named Mary (Hansen) has given birth to a baby, which is important, so the species can continue to live in utter squalor. Apparently, in Europe there is less radiation so she must get the baby safely to “the port”. Unfortunately, there is an unusually-ruthless mustachioed cyborg named “Cyborg” after her. Wherever she is, he turns up and shoots everybody. You’ve really gotta watch out for this guy. He really hates babies (which is never explained). Luckily, Mary has some help in the heroic Austin (Lara), a valiant meathead willing to help Mary complete her journey and fight Cyborg along the way. Will she succeed in her mission? John Ryan as Cyborg has a Judas Priest-style leather outfit and mustache. He also has funny glowing eyes and grunts a lot. Almost any Judas Priest song can be applied to this villain: “Leather Rebel”, “Hell Patrol”, “All guns blazing”, etc. I wonder if Rob Halford has ever seen this movie. Joe Lara is sans beard and looking meatheadier than ever. He has a bunch of blank expressions that complement his long hair. Hansen can’t act her way out of a paper bag, but maybe the star that is Lara outshined her.

It’s important to remember that in 1993 the world was in the midst of “Terminator 2 Fever” and AC: SW is a by-product of that then-current enthusiasm. Imagine a mix of Terminator 2 (1992), Neon City, Karate Cop and Omega Cop. It has all the silly trademarks of the low-budget post-apocalyptic genre, including plot points about “RZB”, an anti-radiation drug, and it also might explain the characters’ interest in “modems” and other computer mumbo-jumbo.

This movie isn’t really as bad as you might think. Yes, it is very dumb and repetitive (Austin kills Cyborg, he regenerates and comes back, ad nauseam), and every time Cyborg shows up, he kills everyone in sight with his machine gun but not Mary, of course…but it has a decent pace and some interesting baddies such as drag queens and the dreaded “Leeches” who are, apparently, radioactive cannibals. The one standout fight scene involves Austin facing off against these mummy-like assailants. Also, most of the movie takes place in one abandoned warehouse or another.

Directed by the legendary Boaz Davidson (of the Lemon Popsicle series and co-producer of The Expendables (2010), this is a later Cannon production, so, make of that what you will.

Who is the Steel Warrior? Is it Austin or is Cyborg? Be Pro-“American” and find out tonight! For more insanity, please visit: comeuppancereviews.com

Expected bad… but not awful.

Well, this movie may not be just another piece of crap like most of this type are, but I do not see any point to praise about it either. Same old premise — destructed wasteland, no sign of sane life, deadly cyborgs reigning, some unlucky human beings… it works on a very cheap & boring formula. It reminds me of Van Damme’s Cyborg, but somehow I feel this one better. Just because it has a better story. But please do not expect a breathtaking, mind dazzling sci-fi plot. I was just comparing.

The leadman, Joe Lara, is lucky that he turned out to be a cyborg in the end. Otherwise he himself should question his acting capability. Nicole Hansen added some human touch in this robot-robot game. At least she is the only human among the lead cast. And I’m still in dark why the director chose an old-man figure as the killing cyborg. 3/10.

Steel Warriors coming out to play

Joe Lara stars as a tough martial artist who helps escort the last pregnant woman to Europe, while a cyborg (John Ryan, not John P. Ryan) is close behind in their footsteps. American Cyborg:Steel Warrior (a rather awkward title) actually got a theatrical release (And no I didn’t see this in theaters) and well with all things considered it represents the last dying breath from Cannon films. (Who distributed this) Back in the 1980s, Cannon were the ones responsible for such movies as the American Ninja series, Revenge Of The Ninja, Delta Force, Invasion USA, Masters Of The Universe, Bloodsport, Kickboxer, Death Wish 2-4 and Cyborg. I listed this filmography mainly so I can point out that the type of movies that Cannon used to pedal to market. In this regard American Cyborg:Steel Warrior isn’t the best or the worst production from Cannon, it is just a low budget rip off of Escape From New York with elements of Cyborg and Hell Comes To Frogtown thrown in for good measure, it really isn’t so bad as it is derivative. I mean it’s a B.movie, but i’m not sure this deserves a 2.2 rating on IMDb. The movie itself has a couple decent action sequences but mainly it’s a rip off and I think fans of B.movies will be the ones who find this enjoyable. The movie is also respectably made with some okay production values and the story (if simplistic) makes sense. Although Lorenzo Lamas rip off, Joe Lara is a liability that the film’s competence can’t overcome.

* * out of 4-(Fair)

• Year: 2008
• Released: 07 Oct 2008
• Country: USA, Canada
• Adwords: N/A
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1151928/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/cyborg_soldier
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: R
• Genre: Action, Sci-Fi
• Runtime: 84 min
• Writer: John Flock (story), John Flock, Christopher Warre Smets, John Stead
• Director: John Stead
• Cast: Bruce Greenwood, Tiffani Thiessen, Rich Franklin, Wendy Anderson
• Keywords:

	4.3/10
	14% – Critics
	false% – Audience

Cyborg Soldier Storyline

WEAPON centers on a lonely U.S. border patrol agent, Lindsey Reardon (Tiffani Thiessen), who captures a genetically engineered super-soldier, Isaac (Rich Franklin). The soldier’s creator, Simon Hart (Bruce Greenwood), attempts to hunt them down, but it won’t be easy. Based on a screenplay by John Flock and Christopher Warre Smets, the film is produced by Joshua Gray and directed by John Stead. Jacqueline Kelly, Barbara Sacks, Kate Harrison and Lewin Webb serve as the films executive producers.—Artemis-9

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Cyborg Soldier Movie Reviews

Cyborg Soldier

Isaac escapes from an installation, after dispatching security personnel, and his creator, scientist Simon Hart, is after him. Isaac is a “regenerative human”, whose synthetic skin can withstand multiple nine millimeter slugs buried into his chest(Simon calls him bullet resistant)..this derives from the evolution in nanotechnology(Hart, with great enthusiasm, affectionately labels him a “nano robot”). Isaac’s memory has been erased and he feels no pain or emotion. He commandeers a deputy’s car(and insists she stay with him until he says otherwise)and flees after a confrontation with Hart’s dangerous hired goons, equipped with hi-tech weaponry. You could rename this movie “Isaac’s Run” for “Cyborg Soldier” is essentially a road/chase movie with our duo attempting to evade capture from both the local police, Simon and a member of the corporation who funds the cyborg soldier project, Janice Fraser, and Hill’s “men in black”(“Mr. Beck”, the bald leader-in-charge, commands this group, kind of an “efficiency expert” who creates and cleans up the messes which could interfere with his boss’ efforts). Richard Franklin is very much robotic in performance, as he should be since Isaac is, in essence, a blank supersoldier whose memory was wiped clean(..though, the movie reveals memories returning, slight images coming back in fragments), with Tiffani Thiessen as his “prisoner”, deputy Lindsey Reardon, who eventually helps him identify who he was before. Bruce Greenwood, as cold-hearted and determined scientist Hart, whose experiments have finally become a success, is an effective villain, willing to do whatever it takes, no matter the cost, to see that his work remains undisturbed, while Wendy Anderson , as Fraser, sees Simon’s handiwork, first hand, after Mr. Beck and his men gun down police officers searching for Reardon, dedicating herself to stopping his operation. Beck had Reardon’s gun placed at the scene of their murder of her boyfriend deputy to implicate her for their crime. For a movie titled “Cyborg Soldier”, there’s not as much action as you’d expect. A small scale set piece here and there involving some hand-to-hand combat, one major shootout, and the major climax at the end as Isaac confronts Hart, with all hell breaking loose, as Reardon follows along, seeing for herself the facility’s rooms where the experiments took place. Nothing you haven’t seen before regarding a superhuman soldier with superior powers and the cold-blooded scientist willing to kill anyone who stands in his way..Greenwood, to his credit can play the unapologetic a$$hole with the best of them. Nice Canadian locations and a competent cast help a rather formulaic plot slightly. No great shakes, but no that bad, either..just not really all that memorable, especially in regards to this particular sub-genre. My favorite scene, also ripped off from, I believe Universal Soldier, has Isaac removing bullets from his chest with a knife as a queazy Reardon looks on.

No comment

I am not sure… Is this movie some bad joke or what… Cyborg Soldier who in fact isn’t cyborg soldier, only man that pretend that is a cyborg soldier and tries to do some face impressions like Arnold in Terminator? Or this is just some lame “Terminator like” movie? From the beginning you can sense that there will be no mystery, just some pump ride action and shooting. This B grade movie has nothing new to offer, low scenario, my stomach turns upside down when I see its used in this movie, as well as in million others to. Acting… my goodness… is that a good word for describing the actors? They sucked at all levels…

Why is this movie made? If you ask me, I would say “I don’t know.” Its like million others B ratted movies, nothing innovative, after hour and a half watching you would regret for spending that time useless… But if you wish action without thinking, when you know the ending after 20 minutes, with not so good acting and every move predictable, then this is movie for you!

That was it?…

Hand on heart, then I must admit that I had little expectations, if any at all, to “Cyborg Soldier”. I mean, everything here just screams low budget and questionable movie, from storyline to the list of cast talents appearing on the cast list.

The story in “Cyborg Soldier” is about a genetically enhanced person, a cyborg of sorts, who escapes the confines of the research facility where he was created and kept captive. In the outside world he has a run in with a local sheriff and teams up with her to avoid capture by the very same people who created him.

Right, nothing new or overly thrilling about the storyline or plot here. And there most certainly is nothing new to be had here, that haven’t already been seen in other similar Sci-Fi inspired movies.

And as for the acting, well let’s just say that it has Tiffani Thiessen in a leading role, and that needs no further explanation, you know what I am getting to here. And alongside her was actor Rich Franklin, whom I can’t claim to be familiar with at all. Aside from Tiffani Thiessen, then the only familiar faces I saw were Bruce Greenwood and Jim Annan.

It didn’t take long before I found my attention directed to the mobile phone and not on the actual events on the screen, because the movie just didn’t come off as being interesting or captivating in any sense. And scarily enough, then you don’t really have to be paying attention to the screen in order to keep up with the events of the story and how the movie turned out. Yeah, it was that generic and predictable.

The effects, although there isn’t an abundance of them in the movie, were actually adequate enough, and they served their purpose well enough. However, it just wasn’t particularly impressive or memorable, and definitely wasn’t spectacular to really catch your attention.

This wasn’t a memorable movie in any sense, and that I have seen it, I can check it off the list and I know that I will not be watching it a second time around.

• Year: 2024
• Released: 05 Apr 2024
• Country: United States
• Adwords: N/A
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt11749154/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/model_house
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: N/A
• Genre: Thriller
• Runtime: 85 min
• Writer: Derek Pike
• Director: Derek Pike
• Cast: Scout Taylor-Compton, Ryan Merriman, Chris Zylka
• Keywords:

	4.3/10
	90% – Critics
	false% – Audience

Model House Storyline

Models staying in a secluded house for the night are terrorized by intruders.

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Model House Movie Reviews

depends on what you were expecting,,,

In my over 2000+ reviews here, I have discussed dozens of B-movies that were essentially 90 minutes of your life you were never going to get back. Ever. MODEL HOUSE does not exactly fit that category. Let’s start with the opening. Although it was probably not deliberate, the “shocker” off the top, clearly intended to hook the audience, turns out to have the highest production values of the entire movie. That 2 minute bit, which could stand entirely on its own as a cautionary tale about the dangers of social media, is so well done that it actually promises you a much better production than you actually get. The rest of the movie tries really hard to maintain that standard, but does not succeed. Speaking of standards, if you hold this film to the standards of the original 1970s slasher flicks — which implies that you actually went to theaters in the 1970s — it will actually pass the bar. So, as a retro exercise, you have an above-average script (with a few surprises) painfully dragging this B-movie to the finish line. However, if you hold this film to the more modern standards of horror/suspense, it gets marks for effort but still comes up short. Way short. ((Designated “IMDb Top Reviewer.” Please check out my list “167+ Nearly-Perfect Movies (with the occasional Anime or TV miniseries) you can/should see again and again (1932 to the present))

Starts with a cliché… OUCH

Spoilers ahead

Models staying in a secluded house for the night are terrorized by intruders.

Not much to say here, it starts with a girl getting ran by a car on a crosswalk wearing bright clothes… We’ve seen this a billion times…

First 30min is just blahblah from instragram models… just kill me now lol

Then 30min of the bad guys posting stuff on social media… Yawn…

Then the last act is them fighting back in the most un original ways…

Overall it feels like the writer did not spend more then a few short months writting this giant cliché…

They got this movie produced I just hoped they wouldve spent more time on the script…

Better than I thought it would be

This is a horror and a thriller. I think this is better than most of those horror movies in this category,

I must say that I am a huge fan of real horror movies and tv shows like American horror story, The walking dead, Resident evil movie series. But not a fan of Halloween murder movies, but this one is deferent, and the story is also good, I think people haven’t seen this movie yet. When I write this review. So I can not see many people have rated this movie

If you haven’t watched this yet, watch and rate this. I think you will rate more than 6.00 hope you will enjoy this at home. I recommend who likes to watch horror and tillers.

• Year: 1990
• Released: 10 Aug 1990
• Country: India
• Adwords: N/A
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0099025/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/amba
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: Hindi
• MPA Rating: Not Rated
• Genre: Family
• Runtime: 153 min
• Writer: N/A
• Director: Mohan Kumar
• Cast: Shabana Azmi, Anil Kapoor, Meenakshi Sheshadri
• Keywords:

4.3/10

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Amba Movie Reviews

• Year: 2006
• Released: 10 Jan 2006
• Country: United States
• Adwords: N/A
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0373900/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/rampage_the_hillside_strangler_murders
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 480p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: R
• Genre: Crime, Drama, Thriller
• Runtime: 85 min
• Writer: Chris Fisher, Aaron Pope
• Director: Chris Fisher
• Cast: Joleigh Fiore, Bret Roberts, Brittany Daniel
• Keywords: jealousy, psychopath, hollywood, los angeles, california, drugs, killer,

	4.3/10
	15% – Critics
	15% – Audience

Rampage: The Hillside Strangler Murders Storyline

The notorious case of the Hillside Strangler is the basis for this startling thriller directed primarily with an over-used hand-held camera by Chris Fisher. Kenneth Bianchi, one (along with his cousin Angelo Buono) of the two serial rapists and killers who terrorized the Los Angeles area in the late 1970s, is giving police station interviews to psychiatrist Samantha Stone who has disquieting lifestyle issues of her own. It falls to her to delve into the details of the case to determine the veracity of Bianchi’s claims of multiple personality disorder, but in so doing, she is forced to relive the horrific crimes, one of which occurs at her very doorstep.—Anonymous

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Rampage: The Hillside Strangler Murders Movie Reviews

An exercise in total incompetence

Do you have any idea how wretched a film has to be for me to consider it the worst “true” serial killer-themed movie ever? Well, this one gets that honor. How it was humanly possible to make a movie worse than SPECK boggles my mind. But this crew did. Oh wait, I know why: 1. Here’s a movie whose title suggests it will only appeal to true crime buffs. So let’s alienate the only possible fan base this movie could have by changing EVERYTHING factual about the case. Nevermind the fact that the real Ken Bianchi was a slick BS artist. Nope, this movie turns him into Kevin Spacey from THE USUAL SUSPECTS. And what’s with that title, you ask? Weren’t there two Hillside Stranglers? Yes. Yes, there were. But Angelo Buono is a minor character in this piece. Forget the fact that he was the actual brains behind the crimes and was in effect Ken’s mentor in murder. Angelo gets one brief scene and then falls off the face of the earth. Interestingly, Angelo’s criminal trial was the longest in United States history up to that point. Do they even see fit to give us little slices of information like that in the closing credits? Nah. Because research is hard.

2. There’s this wonderful new invention out there called a tripod. It allows a camera to be placed in a fixed position for a steady, undistracting shot. Our cinematographer hasn’t heard of this invention. Therefore, he shoots every scene in a circular dolly shot. No, seriously. EVERY scene. Sometimes to break the monotony of the circular dolly shots, we get a circular dolly shot superimposed onto ANOTHER circular dolly shot. Yay.

3. Our psychiatrist Samantha is such a model of professionalism that she keeps candid nude pictures of herself hanging on the wall in her study. I guess this is to provide a conversation piece to visiting patients and law enforcement personnel. She’s also apparently so absorbed in her casework that she can never seem to fasten the top 6 or 7 buttons on her blouse. It’s impossible to give a tinker’s squat about Samantha because her only character development consists of her having increasingly half-hearted sex with a parade of drugged-out strangers.

4. When the story lags, cut to another drug-fueled orgy! Not that you’ll be able to see much, because for these sequences they seem to have strapped a camera onto a hummingbird. A hummingbird with a penchant for annoyingly long dissolves. And because recutting a film to meet an R-rating costs money, let’s just digitally fog certain props and naked characters that the MPAA finds offensive. Ah, digital fogging. It’s not just for Japanese pornos anymore! Classy.

In conclusion, this movie fails as a serial killer biopic. It fails as a character study. It fails as a procedural. It fails as a horror film. It fails as a suspense film. But if you look at it as an Impassioned Plea for Tolerance and Acceptance of the Circular Dolly Shot, you’ll find no better example.

The good performances just can’t bring this movie up to snuff.

“Rampage: The Hillside Strangler Murders” could’ve been so much better.

The plot is: Dr. Samantha Stone (Brittany Daniel) gets a case that involves accused murderer Kennenth Bianchi (Clifton Collins Jr.) She gets into his head, and eventually he does the same to her.

The main problem with the film is that there too many camera and sound tricks. It’s very distracting and headache inducing. The camera goes around in circles every two seconds.

What’s good about this film is the performances. Clifton Collins Jr. is great as Kenneth. If you watch his other performances in “187” or “Mindhunters”, you can see the immense talent he has. Brittany Daniel does a decent job. Yes, she takes off her clothes, but she has acting ability. In the end: This movie is a misfire, but thankfully it does boast two good main performances, without that, it would have been a disaster.

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When people with no talent make movies, they make movies like this

It begins by ripping off the opening sequence of “Irreversible”. The camera sweeps and twists for no reason. It creates no context. It has no point. “Rampage – The Hillside Strangler Murders” is a film made by people who have no talent or intelligence. They have seen some contemporary films and they are keen to recreate sequences from them. They possess no vision of their own. Chris Fisher, who is listed as the film’s director, could not direct traffic on a one way street. Because he has no vision, he goes with “style” instead. His idea of “style” is to keep his camera moving no matter what happens, so we’re served endless streams of dizzying, pointless camera work. The characters are actors who pose and shout and spew nonsensical dialog. The lead actress spends much of the film in the nude. She is an attractive, capable thespian who looks like porn star Lois Ayres (aka Sondra Stillman). She is not a real person, she is a one-dimensional cipher. We get no insight into why The Hillside Strangler strangled and we get no suspense. This is one of the worst films I have ever seen, and I’ve seen plenty.

• Year: 2009
• Released: 07 Jul 2009
• Country: United States
• Adwords: N/A
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1355627/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/evil_bong_2_king_bong
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: Not Rated
• Genre: Adventure, Comedy, Horror
• Runtime: 80 min
• Writer: Charles Band, Domonic Muir
• Director: Charles Band
• Cast: Brett Chukerman, Sonny Carl Davis, Mitch Eakins
• Keywords:

	4.3/10
	24% – Critics
	24% – Audience

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Evil Bong 2: King Bong Movie Reviews

A Dumb Movie, Perfect as a Sequel to Another Dumb Movie

The crew from “Evil Bong” have come down with exaggerated symptoms of marijuana use: the munchies, sleepiness and lowered inhibitions. But the bong is destroyed… what to do? Well, why not track it down to its source and eradicate the evil once and for all?

I’m not going to lie: the first “Evil Bong” was stupid, but I still really enjoyed it. It had a good pace, plenty of humor, gorgeous women and some decent cameos from Tommy Chong and Bill Moseley. So, all in all, it was a decent film by Full Moon standards. With that in mind, I felt “Evil Bong 2” had potential…

Well, it does alright, but comes up a bit short. The effects are even more poor (though the fat suit looks cool). There are still hot girls (Amy Paffrath as Velicity, Robin Sydney as Luann and the Poon-Tang Tribe). But no cameos, and once you cut out the credits and introduction, the film is maybe only an hour long. The “king bong” is not really much of an adversary. Perhaps Full Moon should consider doing a film of the week on television? Or a 13 episode series for Showtime or something.

If you like “Evil Bong” check this out. If not, avoid it. It’s not even really a horror film — no gore, no blood, no real monsters or killers (no one dies). I hope that an “Evil Bong 3” isn’t made, but if it is… well, maybe that will help regain this franchise’s momentum.

Entertaining no-brainer sequel

Stoners Larnell, Brett, and Bachman all suffer from severe delayed side effects from smoking grass from evil bong Ebee (robustly voiced with sassy panache by Michele Mais). The trio embark on a journey to the jungle in South America along with their nerdy straight-laced buddy Allistair and affable delivery guy Rabbit to find a cure for their various ailments. During their expedition the group encounter a bunch of beautiful women known as the Poontang Tribe as well as a wicked and powerful bong called King Bong. Sound really dumb? Well, this flick is certainly more stupid than a bag of rocks, but fortunately director Charles Band and writer August White treat the blithely idiotic premise with just enough breezy irreverence and present plenty of merry excessive weed toking to make this picture a perfectly amusing and enjoyable diversion. The game cast have a ball with the goofy material, with especially stand-out work by John Patrick Jordan as obnoxious hipster Larnell, Amy Paffroth as foxy and earnest scientist Velicity, Brett Chukerman as the geeky Allistair, Sonny Carl Davis as the amiable Rabbitt, Brian Lloyd as morbidly obese compulsive eater Brett, Mitch Eakins as the laid-back Bachman, Jacob Witkin as cranky old coot Cyril, and Robin Sydney as snippy stuck-up bitch Luann. District 78’s funky score hits the get-down groovy spot while Terrance Ryker’s crisp cinematography gives the movie an attractive bright look. As a tasty added plus, hot porn starlets Kat, Ariel X., August, and Emilianna all bare their sexy bodies as members of the Poontang Tribe. A real dippy hoot.

Evil Bong 2 King Bong: 2 down, 5 to go

Evil Bong, what a concept. You can only assume someone was smoking some high quality stuff to have thought this would be a good idea, yet somehow someway it became a long running franchise which at time of writing has seven movies.

Well the first was stupid stuff but just about managed to be entertaining, kind of. Here we see the same characters (Almost the same cast) suffering side effects from their encounter with the titular Evil Bong and venture to South America to seek out a cure.

Stoner humour, childishness and that weird Full Moon movies charm that still remains after all these years.

In no universe could I ever say King Bong is a good film, in fact if any of the next 5 movies get over a 5/10 I’ll be astounded! However they’re dumb fun, and in that almost likeable way unlike the likes of Sharknado *Sigh*.

Evil Bong 2 manages to be a tad better than the first movie, it actually has structure this time and more of a story. I can’t believe I’m talking about a movie called Evil Bong and complimenting it on it’s story. Then again I’ve watched a movie about a killer tyre, a giant man eating sperm and Ron Jeremy’s penis breaking off and going on a killing spree so I really shouldn’t judge it too harshly!

The Good:

Follows on from the first film

Sonny Carl Davis

The Bad:

Recasting

Plot is daft, even by “Evil Bong” standards

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

I’m going to watch seven movies about a Killer Bong and one spin off film where the Killer Bong battles an evil gingerbread man. I may need help.

• Year: 2023
• Released: 27 Oct 2023
• Country: Turkey
• Adwords: N/A
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt23047172/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/too_much_love
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p, 1080p
• Language: Turkish
• MPA Rating: N/A
• Genre: Comedy
• Runtime: 100 min
• Writer: Hasan Can Kaya
• Director: Kivanç Baruönü
• Cast: Hasan Can Kaya, Büsra Pekin, Ugur Yücel
• Keywords: romantic comedy,

4.3/10

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I’ve never seen such a poorly shot comedy movie before.

I love watching Hasan Can Kaya’s stand-up videos. He is a very successful server. But he is inexperienced in acting. Not only Hasan, Bushra looks very aesthetic and her speech is extremely rude, like moron. He responds rudely in the scene where he could have responded in a more polite and humorous way. I was expecting a lot of positive energy from the movie, but I always got negative energy. The scenes are very short and pass quickly. So the scene of taking Hasan to the military is very short. Hasan’s conversation with Bushra should have been added to that scene, or it could have been a farewell to his family. I didn’t like the movie.

I’ve never watched a romantic comedy this bad for longest time.

Since the movie has now started streaming in Netflix, we decided on watching it as we enjoy the talk show, Hasan Can Kaya is doing, we thought the comedy sense of the movie would be good, oh boy, was I wrong. The actings are really off to be a good romantic comedy, I know this is his first movie and he’s even taking part on the producing.

But that’s really awful, I mean I didn’t enjoy even a little bit of the movie I think, the best part was unsurprisingly the intimate scenes lol

Yet again, I found the story to be quite blank as well, there have been better romantical comedies in Turkey, and I know that they can do better.

Wouldn’t really recommend watching it unless you have really extra time on your life.

Cok ask movie

Hello. I watched the movie. (It was difficult) Hasan Can Kaya is a very good presenter and a smart person. But he is incapable of acting in movies.

I think everyone should do their main job. The baker should sell bread, the farmer should plant his field. Being a famous presenter does not mean that you can be a good movie actor.

We met Hasan Can Kaya while doing a stand-up show on a paid internet platform. Also, Busra is not as natural as she used to be in Beijing. She has an artificial beauty. This is because she has had excessive plastic surgery.

I think it’s amateurish to switch from the world of comedy to cinema. Actually, Hasan Can Kaya seemed quite smart. (!)

This movie is not good. If you are expecting an objective comment; Hasan Can Kaya should not act in a movie again.

• Year: 2022
• Released: 19 Mar 2024
• Country: Germany
• Adwords: 2 nominations
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt11261538/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/subject_101
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: English, German, Arabic
• MPA Rating: N/A
• Genre: Horror, Thriller
• Runtime: 86 min
• Writer: Tom Bewilogua
• Director: Tom Bewilogua
• Cast: Cem-Ali Gültekin, Guntbert Warns, Guido Föhrweißer
• Keywords:

4.3/10

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• Year: 1995
• Released: 10 Mar 1995
• Country: United States, Canada
• Adwords: N/A
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112843/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/the_demolitionist
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: R
• Genre: Action, Horror, Sci-Fi
• Runtime: 93 min
• Writer: Brian DiMuccio, Anne Kurtzman, Robert Kurtzman
• Director: Robert Kurtzman
• Cast: Nicole Eggert, Bruce Abbott, Susan Tyrrell
• Keywords:

4.3/10

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The Demolitionist Movie Reviews

Can’t help but wonder what would have happened if PM made a movie like this and cast Cynthia Rothrock as the heroic avenger

In the future, Metro City is overrun by crime. While Mayor Grimsbaum (Tyrrell) attempts to make herself look good in the midst of this epidemic, most of said crime seems to be masterminded by the Burne Brothers, Mad Dog (Grieco) and Little Henry (Vasquez).

On the eve of their electric chair execution, Mad Dog escapes and reconnects with his old gang in the city. Undercover cop Alyssa Lloyd (Eggert) infiltrates Mad Dog’s gang, but is recognized and then assaulted and left for dead. However, thanks to Professor Jack Crowley (Abbott), Alyssa is regenerated and then put into a nifty skintight black Kevlar suit. After singlehandedly lowering the Metro City crime rate, Alyssa Lloyd is rechristened “The Demolitionist”. Though, to be fair, if you’re looking for buildings to be demolished, Alyssa isn’t really your gal. Anyway, the final battle between The Demolitionist and Mad Dog inevitably materializes…who will demolish who? Or…whom?

Starting with the obvious, The Demolitionist is a low-budget cross between Robocop (1987) and Darkman (1990). Or, more in our wheelhouse, it’s better than Robo-C.H.I.C. (1990) but not as good as Cyclone (1987). We believe the Darkman comparison is especially apt, because director Kurtzman – an associate of Sam Raimi thanks to his being the “K” in the KNB EFX group and having worked with him in the past – really seems to be Raimi’ing himself in here. Perhaps the closest comparison, really, is to Raimi’s short-lived M.A.N.T.I.S. TV series. The Demolitionist has a very similar plot to that, but instead of Carl Lumbly in the super-suit, it’s Nicole Eggert.

Further comparisons could be made to Barb Wire (1996) and Point of No Return (1993), but that’s just it: there’s almost endless movies we could compare The Demolitionist to. Lack of originality in a comic-book movie like this isn’t, alone, such a bad thing, but The Demolitionist is missing the wit and sense of pacing that a Raimi movie has. We have to wait a long time for her to really become “The Demolitionist”.





On a more positive note, the idea of Nicole Eggert as a supersoldier who wants unending revenge on her enemies is a strong one. She walks away slowly from an explosion, which is good, and her Revenge Outfit is pretty cool, but are her guns so high-powered they cause a pinkish chalkdust to arise from her targets? What’s that all about?

One of the best things about this movie is the cast. It’s chock-full of B-movie names we all know and love, and there’s even a cameo by, you guessed it, Bruce Campbell. As if the Raimi comparisons needed further enhancing. It would take too long to list everyone involved, but one Rosey Brown as Big Frank steals the movie despite his brief appearance.



As much as we enjoyed watching Nicole Eggert take on this type of role, we can’t help but wonder what would have happened if PM made a movie like this and cast Cynthia Rothrock as the heroic avenger in the shiny black suit. We can only imagine the result would be stronger than this, because The Demolitionist has a junky look to it that does it no favors. It really shows what a low budget DTV product this truly was, but that should have been easily sidestepped by the cast and behind-the-scenes makeup dudes who masterminded this whole misadventure.

Featuring the end-credits song “Demolition” by Paul Blubaugh, sadly The Demolitionist will never boast an endless series of sequels, a TV show, a toy line, a comic book, and mass-market pop culture appeal. We assume that’s what the filmmakers were going for, but it’s missing a certain “it factor” that would cause it to be the latest superhero sensation. But, then again, not everything can be a Green Lantern (2011).

Cult Horror Actors: the Movie

Decent B-scifi/actioner with a fast pace and definite comic book sense about it. The most fascinating thing about it is that nearly every single scene has a well-known face from the late 70s/early 80s horror genre. Kurtzman called in a number of favors from actors he had worked make-up on in various films for this one. Nicole Eggert is in top physical form and rather pleasing on the eye as the heroine, and Richard Grieco is gloriously hammy as the villain.

The flaw that really got me was that “The Demolitionist” (a title which is never actually used in the movie to describe the “Lazarus project”) had a pair of guns that fired hundreds of rounds per minute, yet the bad guys only got a few wounds even at point-blank range. I suppose if you can get past this minor detail, it’s worth a quick viewing.

what does being alive really mean?

What does being alive really mean? If it means that the blood pumps around your veins, your lungs suck in air, and your eyes help you to aim your gun to blow away your enemies, then Alyssa Lloyd is certainly alive. But in dying and being brought back did she lose something important along the way? Alyssa Lloyd (played by Nicole Eggert) is the Demolishionist, a police officer brutally murdered, and brought back from the dead in true comic-book form. Every night she is forced to undergo horrific scientific procedures which keep her alive and deadly.

The scientist seems to forget that his prize specimen was (and still is?) a woman, with very human feelings.

This film has been likened to RoboCop, and there are some superficial similarities, but Demolishionist is a lot darker, the humour has more ‘edge’, and the final scenes bring the narrative to a brilliant conclusion!

• Year: 2015
• Released: 01 Jan 2016
• Country: Spain
• Adwords: 1 win
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3169832/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/incidencias
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: Spanish
• MPA Rating: R
• Genre: Comedy
• Runtime: 87 min
• Writer: Jaime Bartolomé, José Corbacho, Juan Cruz
• Director: José Corbacho, Juan Cruz
• Cast: Toni Acosta, Karim Ait M’Hand, Roberto Álamo
• Keywords:

4.3/10

Incidencias Storyline

The last train travel of the year from Barcelona to Madrid, suddenly stops by a voltage drop in the middle of nowhere during a fierce snowstorm. Because of the peculiarity of its passengers, will begin to emerge hilarious conflicts between them.—marc segura

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• Year: 1985
• Released: 01 Nov 1985
• Country: Argentina, United States
• Adwords: N/A
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090860/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/cocaine_wars
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: R
• Genre: Action, Drama
• Runtime: 82 min
• Writer: Steven M. Krauzer, Héctor Olivera, David Viñas
• Director: Héctor Olivera
• Cast: John Schneider, Kathryn Witt, Royal Dano
• Keywords:

4.3/10

Cocaine Wars Storyline

Amid explosive turmoil, corruption, and rampant violence, the dauntless journalist, Marcelo Villalba, forms a political party, intent on stopping once and for all the reign of terror of the powerful Argentinian drug lord, Gonzalo Reyes. Before long, things will take a dangerous turn, when Reyes sends the undercover DEA agent, Cliff Adams, to assassinate the presidential candidate. Now, Cliff’s old flame, Janet–who tries to get enough evidence against Gonzalo–finds herself caught in the middle of a brutal conflict, as the ruthless criminal kingpin and his unstoppable personal army will stop at nothing to protect their lucrative business. Can Cliff, the heroic American Scorpion, take down an entire cocaine empire?—Nick Riganas

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If you are B movie fan, you might like this

Ah, back to the simple times. Back to the simple movies. Movies that deal with serious issues, but not as realistic as they could be. For a movie with a small budget, it was pretty good. I was buying a few VHS’s at Vintage Stock when I saw the title. I’m a big fan of movies and documentaries that deal with the war on drugs because while I’m opposed to meth, cocaine, heroin, and pills, I have supported the NORML for 6 years. Many narcotics were illegalized in the late 1930’s in America. Yet we still haven’t even begun to make much of an impact. Most of the emphasis is put on marijuana, which is why we didn’t make an impact during the crack epidemic, and there’s no sign that we will with meth because in order to do so you must not discriminate.

But enough about politics. This movie is about a DEA agent in a foreign country going undercover in a cocaine ring. He’s constantly insulting and threatening the kingpins, who apparently don’t know how to their job. For example, if I worked under Escobar and I get screwed out of some money, the last thing I want to say to someone like him is, “One way or another, I’m going to get it from you. Just wait and see.” I would be killed so fast, I wouldn’t see it coming. So instead of the kingpin having the main character executed while he’s surrounded by his personal army, he allows him to leave and waits to sends very few dimwitted thugs who easily get beaten. They put up less of a fight than the rape victim from Deliverance.

There is also one pointless scene where the main character is walking to a bar and is offered an Uzi from someone on the street. For no reason at all, he takes the gun, looks at it, puts it between the guy’s lips and say’s no. Come on, the man was just making an offer. Typical DEA agent! That’s not what he’s being paid for! This man is more cocky than the freaking’ criminals are.

Anyway, he hooks up with his girlfriend, they escape death a few times, they have sex, protect a politician, etc. Then, they both get kidnapped. He gets briefly tortured and she gets smacked around. He escapes torture as easily as Seagal in Above the Law because these gangsters or whatever can’t fight.

Now we get to the end of the film where our hero must rescue his girl who is kept alive even after he arrives at their “trap.” You’re supposed to use the woman he loves to lure him and then get rid of both of them. What’s the point of keeping her alive while the hero is killing all of your men. Aren’t these criminals supposed to be ruthless. I’m sorry, but I hate it when the bad guys have this much mercy. Why not do what Death Wish IV did, kill the girl just seconds before Bronson gets his man. Teach the viewers that you can’t always get a happy ending.

Just like in Commando, there is no moment where you are given any doubt as to whether the hero will prevail or not. It just seems way too easy. Movies like this need some kind of tragedy or else they become forgotten or uninteresting. When the hero’s woman is killed, the audience feels for him. Braveheart is a good example of this. When Wallace’s wife’s throat is slit, the audience is captured and their mouths drop wide open. This movie, as entertaining as it is, left me a little disappointed. It was as predictable as a made-for-TV movie and leaves you wondering what difference was made. So he destroyed the supply. What else? Did he go after the others? Were troops brought in? Did drug use decline in this country? Oh, what am I saying? They probably went back to their original plan: Spraying the crops with poison, even though it only affects the users.

It’s Nose Candy for your eyes!

“A Lone American Hero Challenges The Might Of A Vicious Drug Empire!” Cliff Adams (Schneider) is an American in South America. He works for drug super-kingpin Reyes (Luppi) and his partner General Lujan (Rodolfo Ranni) as their personal pilot and assistant. However, Cliff is a DEA agent working hard, undercover, to bust Reyes’ organization. When Marcelo Villalba (John Vitali), a revolutionary, “power to the people”-type politician starts gaining some political momentum, Reyes gets worried, because Villalba is anti-drug. Reyes asks Cliff to kill Villalba. This unleashes a chain of events that sweeps up Cliff and his love interest/reporter Janet (Witt) in the violence. Will Cliff be able to protect Janet, Villalba, and their friend Bailey (Dano) from the thugs of Reyes? Will Reyes succeed in his nefarious drug-running plans? And who are those strange German characters? “Cocaine Wars” somehow manages to be pretty silly, yet unmemorable. Odds are, you will forget this movie very shortly after watching it. Maybe it’s the unclear, disjointed way the plot rolls out, or some of the stilted dialogue and wacky dubbing (things that normally make these types of movies worth watching), but there it is. The unshaven John Schneider, who, here at least, is best described as “flatly charismatic”, does a competent job as Cliff. His hirsute status gives him a doglike appearance, perhaps a golden retriever. I mean this in the best possible way, of course. Luckily, his mustache saves the movie.

There are the standard car chases and shooting-based action scenes, and the movie would definitely have been remiss in denying Schneider the all-important torture scene. There are some parallels to the Peter Fonda movie Fatal Mission (1990), as well as The Dogs of War (1980) and The Expendables (2010). The main music cue is very similar to the opening notes of Beverly Hills 90210. You think Schneider, after running people off cliffs and such, will at any moment walk into the Peach Pit.

Cocaine Wars is a very 80’s subject, and this Roger Corman production, released on the great Media label, perhaps could have been executed better. But at 82 minutes, you can’t really go wrong.

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Routine but passable drug-war “actioner” set in S. America.

The title and accompanying art work don’t hold out much promise but this is a competent piece of film-making with several touches which lift it ever so slightly above the mediocre. However, the material is too routine and predictable to have much impact and its lack of distinction may have helped put an end to John Schneider’s movie career. This is unfortunate since Schneider had both youth and size at this point and could possibly have competed with Schwarzenegger, Van Damme, and Chuck Norris for leads in action movies. (Assuming he got a better haircut.)

Schneider plays a man at odds with a South American drug lord and in one scene Schneider is captured and tortured for information by the drug lord’s henchmen. He’s stripped of his shirt, thus allowing him to show off an impressive but not over-muscled physique, and bound spreadeagled-style. Here, as is common throughout the movie, there’s a small but imaginative touch that elevates the otherwise unexceptional proceedings.

As expected, Schneider is forced to endure electroshocks since electricity is almost always the torture of choice in these movies. And, as expected, his pants are left on, thus putting off-limits, in a gentlemanly sort of way, the very parts of his body most vulnerable to electric shocks! This means the sadistic henchman with the cattle-prod restricts himself just to shocks above his victim’s waist. (Yes, there’s the usual close-up of the tip of the prod being held to one of Schneider’s sweaty nipples.)

But the sequence ends with a distinctive flair. Black-gloved hands pry apart Schneider’s lips and we see the prod being roughly inserted into his mouth. Now, sticking something into the mouth of a man you’re trying to make “talk” may not be very logical, but it gives the scene a sexual connotation that is often missing in these sequences, and it imparts to even a jaded audience the sort of chill that makes them pause and think: “Now, that must REALLY hurt.”

Kathryn Witt, the indispensable “girlfriend,” makes the most of trite material.

• Year: 2024
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt31444471/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/the_seven_darks
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language:
• MPA Rating:
• Genre:
• Runtime: min
• Director:
• Cast:
• Keywords:

4.3/10

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