• Year: 1990
• Released: 01 Mar 1991
• Country: Canada
• Adwords: N/A
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0101264/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/abraxas_guardian_of_the_universe
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: R
• Genre: Action, Drama, Sci-Fi
• Runtime: 87 min
• Writer: Damian Lee
• Director: Damian Lee
• Cast: Jesse Ventura, Sven-Ole Thorsen, Damian Lee
• Keywords: new york city, police, wormhole, stripper, alien, canuxploitation,

	2.9/10
	21% – Critics
	false% – Audience

Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe Storyline

An alien “policeman” arrives on Earth to apprehend a renegade of his own race who impregnates a woman with a potentially destructive mutant embryo.—N.X.K.

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Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe Movie Reviews

Cheapjack sci-fi boasts good Ventura performance…

He’s no Laurence Olivier, but Jesse Ventura is very likable as an actor. Low-budget science-fiction B-flick with shades of “The Terminator” involves good cop Ventura chasing bad cop Sven-Ole Thorsen from the future to present-day Canada. The shoestring special effects are pretty much a joke, and the film never comes up with the kind of futuristic scenario depicted on the poster. However, this thing is almost single-handedly saved by handsome Ventura’s low-key performance. No, he’s not going to win any awards for his acting, but he doesn’t force his dialogue and is an appealing presence on the screen. The picture is the epitome of mediocre, it isn’t original nor remarkable, but on a minor, TV-viewing level it’s decent fare. ** from ****

Keep a straight-face.

Anything starring ex-wrestler / former Minnesota governor Jesse Ventura gotta be worth your weight in gold. After appearing as support in such films ‘Predator’, ‘The Running Man and ‘Ricochet’, his first leading role happens to be in something rather lesser; ‘Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe’. It’s a low-rent, corny b-grade sci-fi chase get-up in the form of those efforts done in the late 80s / early 90s (‘The Hidden’, ‘The Peacekeeper’ and ‘Dark Angel’) with certain elements of ‘The Terminator’ (1984) obviously featuring.

Abraxas, an alien officer comes to earth to track down a renegade who plans to impregnate a woman with a child, which would be an actual ticking time bomb waiting to explode if caught in the wrong hands. He captures the renegade, but is too late to stop the pregnancy. Instead of destroying the threat, he spares the mother and baby’s life. Times passes and the renegade escapes and heads back to earth to find the child, but Abraxas is soon on his trail by trying to get to the child first.

It’s best that you just go with the flow. Don’t look too hard into it, as it won’t be impossible to get some sort enjoyment out of it with its unintentional mocking and bizarre nature (like the birth scene). Ventura rocks, but something about his burly physic not matching up to his well-mannered delivery of the material raises some chuckles with his almost-like second-rate Terminator impression. At times the chewy dialogues (honestly it was Shakespeare stuff) seemed too much of a mouth-fall for the two outer-space guests. A robotic Sven-Ole Thorsen forcefully played the evil foe, but Ventura has an sincerely likable air to him that makes him rather appealing in the role. Marjorie Bransfield is decent in her part. Also appearing in very minor support is James Belushi (who has a ridiculous conversation with Bransfield’s character) and the dependable Michael Copeman.

Damien Lee (b-grade actor/writer/director) manages to make the production look better technically than its budget would allow. Sure the minimal special effects and (out of place slow-motion) action set-pieces are low-scale, but modestly crafted. It’s well-photographed and the soundtrack is a flavoured sample of swiftly soothing jazz (odd I know) and electrifying rock. The flabby script is constantly stiff drivel and the screenplay while focused is still quite pedestrian (with a meandering midsection), but whenever Ventura’s narrative voice-over pops up it amuses. The supposed humour on the other hand, (which the script tries for in parts) is dumb and falls flat, because they’re not the moments you’ll laugh at. Talk about a dud of an ending.

Undistinguishable, but better than expected camp that has some heart.

Poorly made Terminator rip off

OK. Nobody in their right mind could have expected much from this movie. But even though I knew Jesse Ventura was the headliner and that the budget was low, I didn’t expect this film to be as bad as it was. The most glaring problem, surprisingly, isn’t the acting. It’s the sound. Ventura enunciates so poorly that it is easy to miss half of his lines (not that it matters in terms of moving the “plot” forward), and the sound itself is reminiscent of 16mm home movies. Expanding on the awfulness of the recording quality is one of the worst background soundtracks I have ever been forced to endure. Improvisational jazz, a U2-clone new wave band, and what sounds like a 12 year old with a Casio keyboard are randomly applied to the scenes in a manner reminiscent of the classically awful soundtrack of Manos: Hands of Fate. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0060666/usercomments?start=10

Ventura and his arch-enemy (Sven Thorsen playing a cross between Grizzly Adams and Arnold Schwarzeneggar) don’t bother with facial expressions, changes in pitch or intonation, This is probably a good thing, because the rest of the cast is actually passable. James Belushi’s cameo is the highlight of the film. His scene is really quite funny, and placed well in the film, since it is likely to bring some viewers back from the brink of suicide. Damian Lee has a remarkable repertoire of poorly made extremely low budget films, and Abraxas is, amazingly, one of his better efforts.

The “plot” consists of two super-beings, one a rogue and the other a kind of intergalactic super-cop, who have arrived on earth. The rogue immaculately conceives with a human in order to spawn “the com leader” (At least I think that’s what they call it – the sound is so bad that even after hearing this about 50 times in various accents, I still don’t know what was being said). The com leader is a little boy who has the ability, when upset, to light fires and “spontaneously combust”. Remarkably, the writers do not seem to have been aware that this phrase connotes self-immolation, not destructive potential. Abraxas’ job is to stop the rogue, and to kill the ‘com leader’. The Com Leader’s mother is played by Marjorie Bransfield (the class of the acting talent here), and she appeals to Abraxas’ super-humanity in an effort to save her son.

Predictable is too subtle. This film is frankly obvious from beginning to end. I can’t recommend it to any but the most disciplined bad movie watcher.

• Year: 2024
• Released: 31 Mar 2024
• Country: United States
• Adwords: N/A
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt27367467/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/easter_evil
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: N/A
• Genre: Comedy, Horror
• Runtime: min
• Writer: Jared Masters, Elizabeth Rath
• Director: Jared Masters
• Cast: Elizabeth Rath, Jared Masters, Mantha Balourdou
• Keywords: easter, rabbit,

2.9/10

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Easter Evil Movie Reviews

His name is Robert

Bunny O’Braska (Elizabeth Rath) is a Vegas go-go dancer sometime during the sixties. Prostitutes are being murdered in town by a giant Rabbit. Bunny answers an a in a magazine to go on a date with “Robert” who we all know is our rabbit. Bunny lies to her boyfriend back home and claims she is working as a secretary in Hollywood. He suspects something is wrong because her area code is off. Her best and only friend is Trinity (Jared Masters) a cross-dresser who does tricks.

The film brags about being filmed on location. Most of the production is filmed in Bunny’s motel room with a bunch of “girl talk” that is unrelated to much f the film. Trinity is also a palm reader who predicts Bunny has only hours to live. Film is on the camp side, but not good enough to watch.

Guide: No swearing, sex, or nudity.

Oh dear God…

Right, well when I sat down to watch the 2024 movie “Easter Evil”, I was expecting to be in for a horror comedy. Sure, I hadn’t heard about the movie prior to sitting down and watching it, but I figured that I would give the movie a chance, since it was a horror comedy that I hadn’t already seen.

Talk about a swing and a miss. I don’t know what writers Jared Masters and Elizabeth Rath were thinking when they concocted the script and storyline here. It was a horrible viewing experience, complete with wooden acting performances, cringeworthy dialogue and just downright boredom.

Needless to say that I wasn’t familiar with a single actor or actress on the cast list here. Not that I would say that there was any acting going on at all throughout the 37 minutes of pure boredom that I suffered through. It was wooden performances with lifeless deliveries of cringeworthy dialogue.

I made it almost halfway through the abysmal ordeal that is “Easter Evil”, then I was ready to claw my eyes out. This is definitely not a movie that I will ever return to a second time and attempt to finish watching. The first time around was more boring that any man has to endure.

Do yourself a favor and stay well clear of this dumpster fire of a movie. It wasn’t so bad that it even surpassed being so bad that it was fun to watch. Yeah, “Easter Evil” was just hands down a waste of time.

My rating of “Easter Evil” lands on a one out of ten stars.

• Year: 2018
• Released: 03 May 2018
• Country: Nigeria, France, United States
• Adwords: N/A
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt7319252/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/lagos_landing
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: N/A
• MPA Rating: 16+
• Genre: Action, Romance, Thriller
• Runtime: 101 min
• Writer: Tola Adesokun, Kehinde Olorunyomi, Theo Ukpaa
• Director: Theo Ukpaa
• Cast: Eric Abensur, Adunni Ade, Tana Adelana
• Keywords:

2.9/10

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• Year: 2024
• Released: 01 Mar 2024
• Country: United States
• Adwords: N/A
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt29730867/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/murdaritaville
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: N/A
• Genre: Horror
• Runtime: 62 min
• Writer: Paul Dale, Dylan McGovern
• Director: Paul Dale
• Cast: Kenny Bellau, Heather Campos, Jenna-Francis Duvic
• Keywords:

2.9/10

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Murdaritaville Movie Reviews

• Year: 2023
• Released: 11 Jul 2023
• Country: United States
• Adwords: N/A
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt27635178/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/operation_black_ops
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: N/A
• MPA Rating: N/A
• Genre: Drama, Thriller
• Runtime: 80 min
• Writer: Jamaal Burden
• Director: Jamaal Burden
• Cast: Tito Ortiz, Cris Cyborg, Rafael Cansino
• Keywords:

2.9/10

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Operation Black Ops Movie Reviews

Tito no!

I just hope Tito Ortiz got paid something for this movie? It’s on watchable as usual. Tito Ortiz was an average UFC fighter at best. But he is an absolutely horrible actor at worst! I could have went out with my cell phone and recorded the same thing that this movie has going forward LOL! I’m still not sure how these movies get money to be made? But somebody’s watching these other than me. Tito was always a UFC average fighter at best. But his wife that he married and had kids with is what really exposed him as the loser he is. The only thing I see here is Tito acts like he fought most of the time boring.

Ravensbruck

The description claims the Nazis are in Texas which is most likely where this was filmed. But the frequently used warehouse was supposed to be Ravensbruk, a former female concentration camp in Germany. The film starts off with random unconnected poorly scripted scenes. The main character is Noah (Tito Ortiz) who is making money at a fight club. He is contacted for a mission to go to Germany and get information on some neo-Nazi Fourth Reich group that has plutonium and may start WWIII. He also gets to kill Carl Mueller who killed Alice. First Noah must get the reluctant band back together. There is also an FBI/CIA agent (Kelsey Johnson) involved that they know nothing about.

The acting was at a level below bad. The script appears to be missing scenes to neatly tie the plot together. Instead, it was just a group of people acting big and bad in semi-detached scenes in need of a plot. Waste of time.

Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.

• Year: 2007
• Released: 31 Jul 2007
• Country: United States, Canada
• Adwords: 1 nomination
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0760157/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/afghan_knights
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: R
• Genre: Adventure, Drama, Horror
• Runtime: 90 min
• Writer: Brandon K. Hogan, Christine Stringer
• Director: Allan Harmon
• Cast: Steve Bacic, Michael Madsen, Colin Lawrence
• Keywords:

	2.9/10
	13% – Critics
	13% – Audience

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Absolutely Terrible

Out of every single movie I have ever seen so far, this is definitely in my “top 5 worst movies category”. After reading some of the previous reviews, I’m somewhat confused. Why do you feel the need to give a movie 10 stars just to “balance things out”? That’s not the point of a review. The point of a review is to be truthful and evaluate the overall film, not to be biased because you were involved in it. With that said. the fact that this person worked on the movie doesn’t surprise me at all.

The acting? Horrible. Dialogue? Horrible. Storyline? … You get the idea. I would only recommend this to people lacking taste in movies. It is honestly that bad. The only reason why I didn’t feel cheated was because I watched this at my friends house. Luckily, I didn’t pay for the rental, but I still lost 90 minutes of my life on this film. He’s in the military, and even he thought this movie was awful. If there are movies made in Hell, this one’s it.

Interesting first half, then goes downhill

Short and simple review without spoilers. Afghan Knights.

Starts off with an interesting storyline, 4 soldiers being payed to collect someone from Afgan and bring him back. They have a little back story, although no emotion is there for the characters. Suddenly, they arrive in Afghan and it takes a little while to realise it’s not a flashback, as there have already been several by this point.

2nd half, I quickly lost interest and the storyline becomes a mess.

5/10 for this film. You get what you pay for.

If low budget supernatural/action films is your thing, you will enjoy this film. Give it a watch on a Sunday when there is nothing on TV.

Pure garbage…

I spent $1 to rent this movie out of a Redbox and it was about $1 too much, even more considering the gasoline I will burn to return it…

This is absolutely the worst military themed movie I have ever seen. Over exaggerated characters, poor and unbelievable story line, and some of the worst acting I’ve ever seen. I was expecting an Afghanistan based rescue movie and instead found something with no plot and totally uninteresting…

This film was so bad that it was hard to force myself to watch it to completion, hoping I was missing something I pressed through to the end when I should have just given up after the first 5 minutes…

I wound up completely disappointed… Stay away from this steamer…

• Year: 2004
• Released: 26 Aug 2004
• Country: USA
• Adwords: N/A
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0481297/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/suburban_sasquatch
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: Not Rated
• Genre: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Horror, Thriller
• Runtime: 97 min
• Writer: Dave Wascavage
• Director: Dave Wascavage
• Cast: Sue Lynn Sanchez, Bill Ushler, Dave Bonavita, Juan Fernandez
• Keywords: monster, bigfoot, paranormal, mystical, sasquatch,

2.9/10

Suburban Sasquatch Storyline

As suburbia encroaches on nature, nature fights back by having Bigfoot encroach on suburbia and exact bloody revenge on all who dare be alive. Meanwhile bumbling cops investigate the murders, while a Native American goes on a spirit quest to destroy Sasquatch and an aspiring reporter looks for god, love, and a “poolitzer”—MrMeatHook

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So bad it’s wonderful

Fans of questionable cinema will adore “Suburban Sasquatch”. This movie is so bad that it’s a joy to watch, and it’s that way in part because the film makers knew they weren’t making Citizen Cane.

I truly question people who would write a review of this and declare it a waste of time.If you’re buying or renting a DVD set called “Depraved Degenerates” that has no stills from the movie anywhere on the packaging, and you’re getting 6 movies for $10, what are you truly expecting to see? The Godfather? Terminator 2? The Sasquatch featured in this film is a fellow in a cheap store bought gorilla suit, complete with fuzzy slippers for feet, who offs unsuspecting suburbanites by pulling out their hearts kung-fu style and beating people with their own bloody stumps. If that doesn’t make you want to see this, you aren’t a true fan of bad cinema, so you probably should just run down to Blockbuster instead.

The only criticism I have for the film, is that it’s a bit overly long, and the bland, odd love interest between our star and starlet gets in the way of a truly fun no-budget romp.

Pick this one up, call over a couple of like minded friends and break out the snacks.

This film is so funny!!

This film is so funny. You will laugh at this film, no doubt.

The acting is terrible, the sound is lousy and the special effects – Holly crap..

You really need to make an effort to see this film. You have to see it to believe it. You will be entertained!

This is 1 hour and 39 minutes of pure funny film making.

Until now, it has been reported ‘Plan 9 From Outer Space’ by Ed Wood was the worst film ever made. Not anymore! The worst film ever made is now Officially ‘Suburban Sasquatch’ by Dave Wascavage.

The full feature film can be found for free online on Youtube. Listed under Horror films.

Have fun watching B-Grade films..

B-Grade Film Geek. www.youtube.com/bgradefilmgeek e-mail: [email protected]

Who else is here because of RLM?

Best film ever. Tanks to Red Letter Media was able to find this diamond.

• Year: 1996
• Released: 24 Jul 1996
• Country: USA
• Adwords: N/A
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0114467/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/skyscraper
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 480p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: R
• Genre: Action, Thriller
• Runtime: 96 min
• Writer: William Applegate Jr. (screenplay), Joseph John Barmettler (screenplay)
• Director: Raymond Martino
• Cast: Anna Nicole Smith, Richard Steinmetz, Branimir Cikatiæ, Calvin Levels
• Keywords: terrorism,

2.9/10

Skyscraper Storyline

Carrie Wink (Anna Nicole Smith) is a beautiful and voluptuous helicopter pilot employed by a company (Heliscort) that offers heli-taxi transport to high level clients. She is married to Gordon Wink (Richard Steinmetz), a detective with the LAPD, with whom we see some flashbacks of their relationship.Fairfax (Charles M. Huber), a ruthless South African criminal mastermind prone to quoting Shakespeare, is intent on collecting a series of four interlocking electronic devices or circuits that can somehow “shift the balance of power in the world.” It is not in any way explained how these devices will achieve this, other than mention that it is involved with satellite tracking, that a whole city could be destroyed and a Third World country is in danger. Through deception and violence he has managed to acquire three of the devices.Carrie, unbeknownst to her, has shuttled two of Fairfaxs goons to the site of one of their exchanges. The location of the fourth device, tucked away in the Zitex building, an 86-floor skyscraper in downtown Los Angeles, is the scene where most of the drama unfolds as Fairfax sets his sights on securing the last device.Carrie is again called to pick up a pair of VIPs, who this time turn out to be Fairfax himself and his French assistant Jacques (Jonathan Fuller). She takes them to the Zitex building, where Fairfax has his band of terrorists take over the entire security system and liquidate the security guards as well appropriate an entire floor. Somehow there seems to be very few people in the 86-floor building.He meets up with Cranston (Eugene Robert Glazer), the possessor of the fourth device. As with the previous three deliverers of the devices, Fairfax plans on killing him. Cranston is mortally wounded in a shootout. Before entering the building, Cranston had suspected trouble, so his companion went in unseen. Before he dies, Cranston escapes with the suitcase holding the device and meets up with Carrie, who helps him up to the roof. He gives her the suitcase and admonishes her to keep it away from Fairfax at all costs.Carrie is hotly pursued over the roof by a muscular goon. With no way out but over the top, she jumps into a window washer’s rig. She attaches herself to a steel winch cable and drops many floors down the side of the building at the speed of gravity until she is brought to a halt by the end of the cable. Now, suspended and dangerously vulnerable to the gunman on the roof, who is shooting repetitively at her, she avoids being shot by constantly swinging around. Carrie finally crashes through a window just as the gunman destroys the winch with machine-gun fire, causing the cable to break free.Carrie hides the suitcase in a trash trolley. She finds a young boy playing on his toy bike and protects him (the boy’s mother has been shot previously; she was blonde and was mistaken for Carrie earlier). Carrie meets up with a small but comically gung-ho security guard and asks for his gun. Now armed, she proceeds back to the floor where she knows that hostages have been taken.Carrie helps confuse the terrorist operating the surveillance cameras by lighting fires in the waste paper bins, causing the fire system to alert the LA fire brigade as well as disabling some monitors. Fairfax and his gunmen capture her and offer the freedom of the hostages for the location of the suitcase. Carrie witnesses a male hostage killed in cold blood by the female terrorist, after he attempts to exchange his own freedom for the $100,000 he has stolen from the building’s computer accounts. Carrie reveals the location of the suitcase and is taken into a room by a guard with an obvious sexual intent.Carrie’s LAPD officer husband, Gordon (Richard Steinmetz), has been investigating the strange goings-on around town. He heads for Zitex (not knowing his wife is also there) and co-incidentally stumbles upon his wife’s mobile phone. Fearing for his wifes safety, Gordon leads Fairfaxs men on a chase around the building. Carrie is at the point of being raped by her guard before she stabs him in the groin with a knife and shoots him dead.Now she comes up behind Natasha the terrorist (Deirdre Imershein) and ruthlessly shoots her in the back, freeing the hostages. A previous flashback of Carrie shooting a handgun with her husband shows her to be an expert shot. This flashback also takes the liberty of showing her second sex scene; the first shows her naked in the shower and then in bed with her husband. Her other physical skills — in combat — are still to be revealed.Gordon is being physically beaten up by a terrorist who is expert in hand-to-hand combat but is rescued by his wife. Fairfax finally finds the device, kills his right-hand man Jacques and heads for the roof, hoping to coerce Carrie at gunpoint into flying him out. He has not bargained on Gordon also being there (Gordon also has the young boy in tow). Gordon is shot in the shoulder. Carrie knocks the gun from his hand and engages Fairfax with swift kicks and punches which ends with Fairfax falling from the 86-story skyscraper to the street below.The young boy is reunited with his blonde mother, who has not been killed after all, as an injured Carrie and her husband enter an ambulance.

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Skyscraper Movie Reviews

Die Hard meets Barb Wire

Imagine that you put Barb Wire in a skyscraper, after the Die Hard model, add incredibly stupid dialog, and some free swinging 48″ (or however big Anna Nicole Smith’s mammaries are) appendages. Then you have more or less this movie.

If you are a man, the only thing that will hold your attention are the scenes where Anna Nicole Smith shows off her transplants.

You might want to watch the film if you are masochistic or have nothing better to do (like watching paint dry?).

The plot is: Tall high rise is taken over by terrorists, this building have a brand new state of the art electronic security system, that allows you to monitor and control the building from 1 central location.

The bad guys claim to be a international terrorist group in order to avoid detection of their real motive. However there is a fly in the ointment in that there are – in this case – two good guys loose in the building trying to spoke their plans.

The action consists of crawling through air vents, setting fires in order to call the fire department, picking off the terrorists one by one, ending in a fight where the leader gets thrown off the roof, to crash to his death 86 floors below. Other terrorists are also thrown out the windows to land on police cars……

Sound familiar ??????

The primary good guy is Anna Nicole Smith, proudly showing off her mammary development (transplant???) at various times, probably to keep the attention of the the few guys watching the movie.

Please do yourself a favor – don’t see this movie if you have any choice.

Die Hard rip off with some porn

I am actually a fan of bad low budget movies as they can bring some special entertainment than not well made movie ever can. This is one of those movies, and so I rate it accordingly to the C (or D? )movie genre.

It takes the big hit of that time, Die Hard, and makes a hilarious, action filled version of it. It is here to please both men and women. Men will appreciate the view of some humongous boobs and women get a main action hero to be female and a bunch of male terrorists who look like they could be pron stars themselves only not too much gets revealed, we just enjoy watching them running in their leather pants and tank tops revealing their muscles.

The soft core pornography scenes are both erotic and funny. The first one with the shower was pretty good, the other one which is Carrie’s daydreaming about banging her husband is extremely hilarious. I mean, when one is trapped with terrorists in a skyscraper what can be a better thing to do than dreaming about banging your husband in some hay, right?.

Anna Nicole Smith was a beautiful woman. But in this one she looks kind of weird. I mean what is it that she kept on doing with her mouth? Was it just a bit dysfunctional after some plastic operation or was it her special acting technique? I have no idea, I just wished she would stop.

Acting in this movie was not of very high class. I am not even talking about Anna Nicole Smith who was the worst. Her “emotions” or better yet the total lack of them was hilarious. The rest of the cast is you see was with few exceptions not even really active in acting. Most of them have only a few credits on their IMDb lists. So this movie’s acting looked very amateurish, which by the way didn’t bother me too much. It looked like a bunch of people had some hell of a fun while doing it. And it seems they were not really trying to go for better acting, maybe they even tried to make it worse. Nobody was trying to hide that Anna Nicole was obviously reading most of her lines without giving them much thought, it seems if she wanted to at least act a bit, she would. I have watched actual porn where actors acted better between sex scenes. This seems like it was for our entertainment.

The plot has so many holes and unexplainable things to it that I won’t even bother. The dialogue is hilarious, because of how badly it is written.

What they did well with, I must say were the action scenes, if we take into the account it being a low budget film. No I am not talking about the funny looking fighting scene when Anna Nicole does some weird sort of kung fu or whatever it is, or when the stud terrorists run shooting from their guns holding them in a way that makes it impossible. But the scene with the truck and explosions is wonderful. I must say they also add a lot of excitement to the movie.

So I rate the movie above average but not much further because it made its job to give me great entertainment as a bad movie, but yet I have seen so many others that were even more crazy and ridiculous that this one will not be sticking in my memory so much.

It Burns! It Burns!!

If you turn the number sideways, you’ll see why I gave this movie an 8. Check the gratuitous shower scene about 10 minutes into the movie if you don’t get me.

Friends, this movie is HOWLINGLY BAD. You’ll laugh until tears flow from your eyes, not believing the sights and sounds assaulting your being from the screen. From Anna’s non-existent acting, to the bad scenery-chewing performance of the actor playing the lead terrorist (just what country is he supposed to be from, Badaccentia?), this is prime Badfilm. There are a ton of explosions on offer, which are nicely photographed, but are so (I’ll risk using the word again) gratuitous that the plot (most obvious Die Hard rip-off ever) can’t be taken seriously for more than a nanosecond.

Everything about this film screams: “Don’t take me seriously!”

On that level, the discriminating fan of bad action films will enjoy this heartily. Anyone familiar with the work of Andy Sidaris will be in familiar territory here.

I feel that this movie is best enjoyed under the influence of several adult beverages. I would suggest a double feature for a night of viewing, this film and David Heavener’s KILL CRAZY(see my review of that film as well). Now that’s some red-blooded American entertainment. Lots of stuff gets blowed up real good! Get the pony keg and the nachos, dude!

• Year: 2023
• Released: 15 Oct 2023
• Country: United States
• Adwords: N/A
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt6066590/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/flakka_zombie_drug
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: N/A
• Genre: Horror, Mystery, Sci-Fi
• Runtime: 86 min
• Writer: C.W. Jonson
• Director: Dick Smartwell
• Cast: Jess Sylvia, Brenna Daly, Mikey Anthony O’Brien
• Keywords:

2.9/10

Flakka Zombie Drug Storyline

In the aftermath of her husband’s mysterious murder by his mistress, the shattered widow seeking solace and a fresh start, decides to uproot her life and move back to her deceased parents home in Las Vegas with her young daughter. Unbeknownst to Emily, amidst her late husband’s belongings is an experimental drug formula with samples. Her husband, once a brilliant chemist working for a secretive pharmaceutical lab, had been working on a revolutionary drug that could potentially be the link to immortality. Upon arrival into their new home, Woman meet their enigmatic neighbor who seems to have a mysterious aura about him. Thomas takes a keen interest in Emily’s situation, offering his support and assistance as she tries to rebuild her life. Meanwhile, in the seedy underbelly of Las Vegas, a small-time thief and opportunist, takes an opportunity to to rob the new arrivals. Emboldened by his discovery he hatches a plan to secretly distribute the drug at an upcoming high school party. As the party unfolds, chaos descends upon the revelers as they unwittingly consume the drug. A terrifying transformation occurs, turning the once lively gathering into a nightmarish scene of zombie-like creatures, plagued by uncontrollable aggression and hunger. Amidst the mayhem, Ricky manages to escape the zombified premises, leaving behind a trail of death and destruction. In the aftermath of the incident, as the City of Las Vegas, tries to manage the fallout, it becomes apparent that their are larger players involved. When the Woman is questioned and she has no idea about the newly named “Drug Z”, the investigation switches to the neighbor. Which is another dead-end as he is found dead in the desert with an apparent self-inflicted gunshot to the head. Is this the Zombie Apocalypse, or is there a larger plan at the center of the chaos?

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Flakka Zombie Drug Movie Reviews

A Tragic Masterpiece of Cinematic Catastrophe

Prepare yourself, dear reader, for a cinematic experience so profoundly terrible that even the most committed connoisseurs of bad movies will find themselves questioning the very fabric of their existence. It’s not just a movie; it’s a colossal train wreck of epic proportions, an exercise in cinematic self-sabotage that defies all logic and reason.

The dialogue in this cinematic abomination is so cringe-inducing that it makes Tommy Wiseau’s “The Room” look like Shakespearean prose. The dialogue is delivered with all the emotional depth of a soggy cereal box. It’s almost as if the actors themselves couldn’t believe what they were saying, and who can blame them?

The pacing of this disasterpiece is another highlight. It manages to be both glacially slow and mind-numbingly fast at the same time, leaving you in a state of perpetual confusion. Just when you think you’ve grasped what’s happening, the movie careens off in a completely different direction, as if the script were written by a hyperactive squirrel on a caffeine bender.

In conclusion, this movie is a triumph of terrible filmmaking, a cinematic catastrophe that defies description. You could argue that when a film is so bad, its good – yeah, not this one. It’s a testament to the depths of human creativity when it comes to producing cinematic garbage. If you’re in the mood for a film that will make you question your life choices and leave you yearning for the sweet release of unconsciousness, then this is the cinematic masterpiece you’ve been waiting for. Just be sure to have a strong supply of popcorn and a sturdy sense of irony on hand, because you’re going to need them to survive this train wreck of a movie.

• Year: 2022
• Released: N/A
• Country: Nigeria
• Adwords: N/A
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt21920464/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/one_bad_turn
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: N/A
• Genre: Drama, Horror
• Runtime: 85 min
• Writer: Doris Ariole, Bobby Michaels
• Director: Blessing Effiom Egbe
• Cast: Lota Chukwu, Shaffy Bello, Bobby Michaels
• Keywords:

2.9/10

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One Bad Turn Movie Reviews

Morals and emotions

Well I do not know why I watched this. I think I should have known better. That aside though, as cliche as predictable as this is, it does not contain many things that many would call offensive. While this is about infidelity, you will not see nudity in the sense you may be used to it from other movies.

But that is fair – unless you have a real issue with it not going all the way (no pun intended). What is worse though is the acting – or absence of it to be more honest. The movie starts off with a scene that should be telling – I do not think that you will be able to continue watch after it. It is a meltdown – and while I do sympathize with anyone who has one of those, it will be impossible for the viewer to say the same for the character who has it to begin with (again no pun intended).

There are some funny scenes, like when we have some oral pleasure while the husband calls in – but do not expect too much from that, it barely scatches the surface of being a good and funny scene. And I may have made it sound better than it is. But what are friends for? I mean reviewers (no pun intended)

Not worth 10 minutes let alone almost two hours

Not sure how I came across this movie on Prime but I put it in my queue. Watched it tonight and many times during the movie I wondered why I kept watching – maybe hoping it would get better? Well, it never did. The actors were OK but nothing that would make me want to watch other movies with them, or, for that matter, watch other movies done by this director. The plot was very plodding, moved slowly along while I hoped it would get interesting at some point, but it never did. Yes, there was a plot twist at the end but that sure didn’t make up for the whole rest of the movie. So, folks, don’t even bother with this one…

Very Good Movie!

I don’t understand how this movie was rated at only a 2.9 when indeed it should be a 10. Very good production, videoography, and the storyline and plot twists were beautifully done. This movie will be recommended to the masses. We need more movies like this; exploring the pitfalls of marriages and the support of friends. The dramatics and rich juicy details of each scene, the decor, the fashion, costume design was phenomenal. Looking forward to more movies from this production, actors, actresses, and directors.

Thankyou Amazon Prime for hosting it. Looking forward to seeing more movies from this genre in the drama and romantic area. Bravo!

• Year: 2023
• Released: 13 Oct 2023
• Country: Italy, United States
• Adwords: N/A
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt17595094/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/in_the_fire
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: R
• Genre: Thriller
• Runtime: 87 min
• Writer: Conor Allyn, Pascal Borno, Silvio Muraglia
• Director: Conor Allyn
• Cast: Amber Heard, Eduardo Noriega, Lorenzo McGovern Zaini
• Keywords: village, supernatural, possession, priest, demonic possession, child psychiatrist,

	2.9/10
	10% – Critics
	30% – Audience

In the Fire Storyline

A doctor from New York (Amber Heard) travels to a remote plantation in the 1890s to care for a disturbed boy who seems to have inexplicable abilities. She begins treating the child, but in doing so ignites a war of science versus religion with the local priest who believes the boy is possessed by the Devil and is the reason for all the village’s woes.

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Dark, emotional period thriller in a beautiful setting

A slow burn, but really well done. A gorgeous setting, great performances by everyone in the cast, and a unique story. I thought it would be more scary, but it was more just an overall unsettling, disturbing sense of unease that perpetuated throughout the whole film and came to a head at the climax. Dr. Grace Burnham was a compelling character, a courageous fish-out-of-water psychologist who finds herself alone, the only rational voice in a community characterized by fear and hysteria. The community faces famine, illness and loss, and they blame every unfortunate happening on the boy Dr. Burnham came to help, Martin. Amber Heard gives an engrossing performance as Dr. Burnham, one of the only women in the burgeoning field of psychology, alone in an unfamiliar, hostile place, with a dedication to protecting and nurturing Martin. Lorenzo McGovern Zaini gives an incredible performance as Martin, and Eduardo Noriega is compelling in his role as Martin’s father, who is grappling with the loss of his wife and his feelings about his troubled son. My only criticism is I wish it had been a little longer — the ending was a little abrupt and I wish there had been more exploration of Dr. Burnham’s background and what the future might hold at the end. But overall, I think it was a great little movie — definitely worth watching.

• Year: 1998
• Released: 18 Jun 1998
• Country: United States
• Adwords: 2 nominations
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118539/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/3_ninjas_high_noon_at_mega_mountain
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: PG
• Genre: Action, Adventure, Comedy
• Runtime: 93 min
• Writer: Sean McNamara, Jeff Phillips
• Director: Sean McNamara
• Cast: Loni Anderson, Hulk Hogan, Jim Varney
• Keywords: sibling relationship, hostage, hero, rivalry, family, escapade,

	2.9/10
	44/100
	0% – Critics
	29% – Audience

3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain Storyline

Three young boys, Rocky, Colt and Tum Tum together with their neighbor girl, computer whiz Amanda are visiting Mega Mountain amusement park when it is invaded by an army of ninjas led by evil Medusa, who wants to take over the park and hold the owners for ransom. Kids and retired TV star Dave Dragon, who made his farewell appearance at the park at the time the ninjas appeared, have to break Medusa’s vicious plans.—Anonymous

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3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain Movie Reviews

Epic

Every once in a while a film comes along that makes you glad to be alive. Cinema is a beautiful art form, and no cinema is more gorgeous than 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain. Epic on a grand scale, the cinematic majesty on display would make Kurosawa’s corpse reanimate just so it could kill itself in shame at never meeting the grandeur of vision presented herein. I saw this movie and broke down in tears, as I knew my eyes had witnessed the most beautiful sight since Stallone and Carl Weathers flirting with each other on the beach in one of the Rocky films. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll curse yourself for thinking that the greatness of the previous 3 Ninjas movies could ever be topped.

Bravo. Bravo.

High Noon at Mega Suck-fest

First off, this is a kids movie so certain allowances should be made for its rubbishness. But I expect that the majority of 7 year olds would find High Noon an unrewarding and painful experience.

The film concerns a group of extremely unscary baddies who decide that world domination can be best achieved by hijacking an amusement park. Two things prevent the villains from carrying out their evil plan. Firstly, the bad guys find themselves easily defeated at every turn by three children and Hulk Hogan. Secondly, those aforementioned bad guys are morons.

The three children are, of course, the 3 Ninjas. They defeat fully grown men in martial art combat at every turn. Particularly remarkable, since one of the kids appears to be about four years old. Of especial note is the second youngest as he sports a haircut that is so abysmally misguided it makes Billy Ray Cyrus’s mullet look tasteful. It is a bowl-cut/pony-tail combo; two haircuts from hell all on one head – it is truly horrendous and should really not be seen by younger viewers.

An interesting aspect of the movie is that despite the fact that the fairground has been hijacked, no one seems to have informed the extras. They carry on enjoying the rides as if nothing has happened. As I said earlier, the bad guys are essentially idiots, so its just possible that they have not got their heads round the technicalities of hijacking. But, at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter as the film is not exactly convincing in a general sense.

Do I recommend it? Not really but it is an ideal birthday present for a child you dislike.

Wonderful Flick

This movie was a real treat. I say “treat” in the sense that it was one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen, hence I love it. The plot is ridiculous & other posters have done a good job at pointing out the shortcomings so I’ll keep this brief. As someone alluded to previously & after a secondary viewing last night re-enforced, it is quite comical how the “terrorists” go through extreme measures to get into the park (ie; having a ship offshore, jet skis, scuba diving, underwater lasers etc,) when they could just pay the nominal fee to gain access to the park! That was great. Hulk Hogan as always, is a crowd pleaser. I like at the end when he knocks off the tops of the underwater breathing apparatuses with a single blow & they masquerade as oxygen diffusing projectiles! Jim Varney obviously was funny in his role as the antagonist, no doubt ashamed to be cast in such a lousy movie. And the three “ninjas”? Don’t even get me started. So cheesy with the Ayais! over & over. Terrible actors, but it all adds to the ambiance of a wonderful film, albeit low budget & misconstrued, unintentional comedy. Would highly recommend, & it goes without saying that a solid buzz while embarking on such a journey will no doubt add to the enjoyment derived from this little gem. Cheers!

• Year: 2021
• Released: 28 Jul 2021
• Country: N/A
• Adwords: N/A
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt16964668/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/dark_mixtape
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: N/A
• Genre: Horror
• Runtime: 74 min
• Writer: N/A
• Director: Tim Furlow, Valeria Henry, Dean Houlihan
• Cast: Mickey Espinoza, Sonja Hadjiiski, Valeria Henry
• Keywords:

2.9/10

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Yikes

Omg I don’t quite know where to start? This is just so horrendous and not in any of the ways that I was hoping for.

Please save your money if you are even considering buying this..like seriously folks this is amateur hour here. Trying to appear like snuff and doing one lousy job of it.

• Year: 1953
• Released: 25 Jun 1953
• Country: United States
• Adwords: N/A
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0046248/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/robot_monster
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: Approved
• Genre: Comedy, Family, Horror
• Runtime: 66 min
• Writer: Wyott Ordung
• Director: Phil Tucker
• Cast: George Nader, Gregory Moffett, Claudia Barrett
• Keywords: b movie, robot, cult film, psychotronic,

2.9/10

Robot Monster Storyline

Ro-Man, an alien that looks remarkably like a gorilla in a diving helmet, has destroyed all but six people on the planet Earth. He spends the entire film trying to finish off these survivors, but complications arise when he falls for the young woman in the group. Love that bubble machine!—Ray Hamel

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Robot Monster Movie Reviews

1+ hour advertisement for the billion bubble machine

It’s an old theme, and one particularly pertinent to the cold war. Aliens conquer the earth, and earthlings are too small minded to put aside their grievances, so all is lost. However, in the case of Robot Monster, the aliens are big guys in ape suits and old-school scuba gear (odd concept of a robot, IMO), and all the action in the film appears to be either stock warfare footage or scraps of bad sci-fi films found on the cutting room floor, spliced in with some pathetic burning miniature rocket ships, and all not even loosely tied into the “plot”.

George Nader, who helped Frankie Avalon ruin the masterpiece of garbage cinema “Million Eyes of Sumuru”, is the star, but the only people who act in this film are Claudia Barrett and John Brown (the Ro-Man), and even so, they’re not very good at it. As a man well aware of his limits, Nader doesn’t usually bother with acting. Like most of the cast members of Robot Monster, he simply recites his lines and adds a smile, a chuckle, or a gesture here and there.

It gets worse. I am a professional archaeologist, and though I appreciate the credit this film gives my profession, I sincerely doubt that any archaeologist will ever develop a serum that makes humans immune to every possible form of disease. Furthermore, I have ethical concerns about the fact that he tests it on HIS ENTIRE FAMILY, even if doing so allowed them to be the only survivors of the alien holocaust brought about by Ro-man! I guess this makes Robot Monster a pioneering cyberpunk film since the entire plot takes place after the destruction of most of earth’s life. Most of the plot is incoherent, utterly ridiculous and unexplained.

You continue to watch because, despite the mediocre cinematography, worse than mediocre directing and script, you want to see just how much worse it can get. In that sense, this film is no disappointment. It gives Manos a run for its money, but in the end does no harm, and its a lot more fun, so I gave it a two (the extra star is for being harmless). This is an amazingly goofy and silly film, comparable in its absurdity to Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. Go for it if you’re into that kind of thing, or if you harbor a secret desire to see George Nader get married without a shirt in a ceremony performed by a German archaeologist.

A masterpiece!

Robot Monster is the Citizen Kane of abysmal 1950s science fiction. It has everything modern viewers have come to expect from movies of this genre: a laughable plot line, completely improbable situations, ludicrous acting, unbelievably awful special effects, cheapjack production values, gaffes galore, and examples of how to fail miserably at every major aspect of motion picture production. For good measure it also sports easily the most ridiculous “monster” in the history of film! The plot is so thin that it can’t even be stretched comfortably over the film’s 66-minute running time without generous padding. A family, headed by the requisite German-accented scientist and including a “hot” chick, a “manly” guy, and two cutesy-poo kids wander through the desert after Earth has been annihilated by a guy in a gorilla suit wearing a plastic diving helmet. That’s basically it, except for some nonsensical pap about an immunity serum. When the guy in the monkey suit is far and away the best actor in the picture, you’ve got a MAJOR problem–but compared to John Mylong as “The Professor,” Ro-Man is Laurence Olivier. You could drive a semi through the plot holes. The dialogue clangers pile up like horseshoes on George H.W. Bush’s lawn. You feel embarrassed for director Phil Tucker, and almost ashamed to laugh at this movie when you learn that the bad reviews of the film drove him to attempt suicide. The experience of watching this film, even with its abnormally short running time, is so excruciating that it feels like you’ve wasted five hours of your life. It’s so bad that after a while you begin to marvel at its very badness, and ultimately you come away awe-stricken.

I call it a masterpiece because under normal circumstances only a talented and determined genius could make a film that sinks as low and violates so many rules of film-making, storytelling and suspension of disbelief as this one does. It takes real talent to make Ed Wood look like Stanley Kubrick, but Phil Tucker pulled it off. For that alone he deserves a place in film history.

Not the worst film ever made…but maybe one of the silliest

ROBOT MONSTER is often heralded as the worst movie ever made, although I’ve seen plenty that are more boring than this zero-budget effort, which is enthusiastic if nothing else. The nutshell plot of the film sees a family struggling to survive in the aftermath of an apocalypse, where they’re menaced by the titular alien.

The film features an anything-goes, shot-in-your-own-backyard feel which makes it hard to take seriously. I’m a huge fan of ’50s sci-fi, but this has more in common with the dodgy offerings of Ed Wood than a real film. The acting is sub-par, the script even worse, and the attempts to enliven things by shoving in stock footage are simply helpless.

Things aren’t quite so bad as all that, though. ROBOT MONSTER is a film that it’s easy to laugh at, which counts for a lot, and Ro-Man is quite an entertaining menace…at least, he’s highly amusing, whether it be his bizarre look or the way he talks in that portentous voice. As a movie, it’s also very short, which makes things easier to take. Watch it as an unintentional comedy and you might even find yourself enjoying it.

• Year: 2005
• Released: 23 Nov 2005
• Country: United States
• Adwords: 1 nomination
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0426615/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/in_the_mix
• Metacritics: https://www.metacritic.com/movie/in-the-mix
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: PG-13
• Genre: Comedy, Crime, Drama
• Runtime: 95 min
• Writer: Jacqueline Zambrano, Chanel Capra, Cara Dellaverson
• Director: Ron Underwood
• Cast: Usher, Chazz Palminteri, Emmanuelle Chriqui
• Keywords: romantic comedy,

	2.9/10
	31/100
	13% – Critics
	50% – Audience

In the Mix Storyline

A successful DJ manages to rescue a powerful mobster one night. In order to repay him, the mobster gives him the task of protecting his daughter.

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I got a confession to make……This is actually worse than Alone in the Dark

The contender ship for my worst movie of 2005 was poised on a knife edge between two truly appalling movies. Deuce Bigalow and Alone In The Dark. It truly was going to be a tough one to decide between a bad comedy, and a bad horror film, both are two evils that take some effort (or cocaine) to pull off.

However that debate is now finally settled. Because thanks to RnB star, Usher Raymond, or better just known as Usher, we now know which out of those two movies will win my award for worst movie of 2005.

Neither.

In The Mix, Usher’s screen debut is a movie that I will only ever watch again if stapled to the floor with a gun pointed into my head and my eyelids forced open. Bar Gigli, it is the worst pop star movie ever created on this earth and gives some of my top ten all time worst a damn good run for their money.

As I told you in my review of Gigli, Pop stars can not act. There’s a whole shelf on Blockbuster Video chock-full of evidence of this. And in this case, this is not just any old pop star we are talking about folks. This is the dark world known as Usher, a man whose entire CV is living testimony to the fact that talent, quality and decency are not needed to become famous on this earth.

So it’s now time to ask John Raymond (the director of this joke) the £1m question. “What in the sweet blue living hell were you smoking when you allowed Usher not just to act in this movie, but be an EXECUTIVE PRODUCER in it also?” OK, so even if Usher wasn’t on this team the movie would still suck anyway but we really need to draw the line at Pop Stars directing their own dreadful movies as well as acting.

And speaking of the acting and role play. Lifeless, and so unbelievably stereotypical and unoriginal that it actually features a gangster CALLED Fat Toni! Where’s Normski when you need him! It’s boring, poorly conceived and just plain painful to look at and suffer.

But what I hate the most about this movie, is the same thing I hate about all of these type of movies. Self Indulgence. It’s bad enough with the likes of Carey and J’Lo pushing these vanity projects just to make some more cash, but when the celebrity is as truly awful as Usher is it’s beyond hate. It’s vitriolic rage.

If you must watch this trash, please, please find some way of doing so for free. Even if your intent is to heckle it, make sure that you don’t give either a cinema ticket booth or a DVD retailer even dime. Because your money is going to Usher. And if you in any way knowingly give your money to this talentless imbecile, then you are a dead set moron. Better still…..

Don’t watch this film.

PS: To those who gave it good reviews. Get A Life.

OK…I’m sorry, this movie is just plain BAD

Let me just say that I was surprised when I saw “In the Mix” settling down in the Bottom 100. Surprised, but not in a bad way. I’m just glad that people see this movie as what it is, and not “how famous Usher is” or “how good we WISH this movie was”

Because, to put it bluntly, I went in the theater expecting junk, and junk is what I got. I don’t think that there is anyone out there who expected great things from Usher, but I most certainly did not expect the worst movie that I have ever seen.

So, let’s go over why this movie was so bad. Firstly, the acting is quite dreadful. Usher acts like a robot, and sometimes almost forgets to show emotion. Emmanuelle Chriqui is not half bad, and neither is the supporting cast, but Usher’s artificial acting spoils all of their efforts. The plot is nothing original, but nothing incredibly awful. With some different acting, hey, I might actually be able to sit through 95 minutes of it without getting close to crying at the pathetic attempt at a movie.

So, here’s what I recommend:

Don’t watch the movie at all (unless you’re one of those people who try to watch really bad movies just to see how bad they are)

If you MUST watch it, wait for it to come out on DVD, and rent it. Or wait for a stupid friend of yours to buy it, and borrow it. Make sure that you do not waste any money on this piece of junk. If you want what’s best for you, spare yourself, and don’t watch it at all.

Very possibly the worst movie I have ever seen

And that’s pretty sad, because I’ve seen a bunch of horrible movies, but this one is in a class of it’s own. Now, I’m going to be honest, I wanted to see this film when it was first released in the theaters. It looked kinda like a fun movie, but I decided to wait until it was for rent. I knew this movie had a bad rating on IMDb, but I figured it was just because Usher was one of the biggest stars at the time and people were just trying to trash him. Boy, I apologize for doubting the views of the IMDb users.

First off, what was the screenwriter on when he wrote this? Or was he simply reading “Screenwriting for dummies”? What the hell does he or the director take me for?! I grew up in friggin’ little Italy/Chicago! I’m not stupid. Now, not to sound horrible, but this movie was totally inaccurate on how a mafia boss would let an African American watch his daughter. Never would happen in a million years. Not to mention the horrible stereo types in this film! It was horrible. The two lovers had no chemistry and the plot was…. ahh! Just never see this movie ever ever ever!

1/10