• Year: 2003
• Released: 02 Feb 2003
• Country: United States
• Adwords: N/A
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0338726/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/aquanoids
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: R
• Genre: Horror
• Runtime: 78 min
• Writer: Mark J. Gordon, Eric Spudic
• Director: Reinhart ‘Rayteam’ Peschke
• Cast: Laura Nativo, Rhoda Jordan, Edwin Craig
• Keywords:

	2.5/10
	19% – Critics
	false% – Audience

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Aquanoids Movie Reviews

See Sleestak Swimming and fishing for fresh blood !

AQUANOIDS with Eric Spudic www.ericspudic.com “Killers Of The Sci-Fi Sea, With gore & more…That’s a good movie.”Lara Nativo is a really nice Scream Queen©.There is a lot of footage of Catalina Island,Kind of a travelogue for Gorehounds.There is some political stuff because of the tourism problem with so many deaths,Didn’t we learn from the JAWS movie that danger BRINGS tourists.The AQUANOIDS(monsters) look like the Sleestak from TVland’s LAND OF THE LOST.I liked the movie.Great fight scene between man and woman.The casting seems from a Soap Opera employment agency.Some of the acting seemed forced and other times roles could have been themselves.

Stupid title; crap film.

My colleagues at work often question my taste in film: they cannot understand why I waste my time championing low budget horror when I could be watching the latest blockbuster to wow the masses at the local multiplex. After watching Aquanoids, I’m beginning to wonder why I bother myself.

Set on a small island off the Californian coast, Aquanoids stars Laura Nativo as Vanessa, a beautiful diver who, after being attacked by a hideous fish-man, attempts to warn the locals of the danger that lurks in the surrounding waters. This upsets the nasty officials of the island, who are afraid that Vanessa will scare away tourists and upset plans for the building of a shopping complex.

A shoddy mish-mash of themes and ideas stolen from the likes of Jaws, Humanoids From The Deep, and The Creature From The Black Lagoon, Aquanoids is absolutely awful in almost every way imaginable: the direction is clumsy and amateurish; the script is childish, poorly written, and highly unoriginal; the editing shows no hint of restraint, utilising every gimmicky fade, wipe and split-screen effect possible; the monster make-up and gore is cheap and laughable; the special effects are unconvincing; and the acting is uniformly awful. Even some welcome female nudity cannot stop this one from being a total waste of time.

Whilst watching this lamentable mess, I noticed that one character had the surname McClure, whilst another was named Bruce—possible references to actor Doug McClure (from Humanoids From The Deep) and Bruce the Shark (from Jaws). There is also a scene where several characters discuss their favourite watery monster movies, mentioning Deep Star Six, Leviathan, Tentacles, Alligator 2 and Roger Corman in the process. This leads me to believe that the makers of Aquanoids are genuine fans of horror and B-movies. If this is the case, then those involved should hang their heads in shame for giving us this abysmal addition to the genre.

Z-grade isn’t the word

I’m a pretty big fan of the ‘underwater monster’ B-movie. CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON is the granddaddy of course, and JAWS the milestone against which all over movies have been judged/attempted to rip off over the past thirty-plus years. AQUANOIDS is somewhere between the two plot-wise, as humanoid-type creatures kill surfers and bathers at a beach, but there the resemblance ends. This is no-budget filmmaking at its very worst, utterly devoid of talent and interest and only worth watching to see how worthless it really is. The hardest thing to like about this film is the camera, which looks little better than your average home video; the shot on video format works against it, lessening the experience against other, better B-movies of the past.

A number of those films are referenced by characters in one SCREAM-like post-modern conversation, giving away the fact that the filmmakers are fans of this sub-genre. It’s a shame they couldn’t do anything with the tired script and awful execution. The creatures are barely seen, and boast rubbishy PREDATOR-style vision; the attacks involve laughable gore effects and one rip-off “monster birth” sequence. The jokes are flat and the acting awful, and brief nudity does nothing to keep you watching. The film’s so cheap that even the guns rarely fire and explosions are effected via some lame CGI work. As the leading bimbo, Laura Nativo is attractive enough, and strangely resilient to the perils of the poor script, but she can’t save this wishy-washy monster flick from being a total disaster.

• Year: 2021
• Released: 19 Oct 2021
• Country: United States
• Adwords: N/A
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt6680576/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/amityville_cop
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: N/A
• MPA Rating: TV-14
• Genre: Horror, Thriller
• Runtime: 69 min
• Writer: Geno McGahee
• Director: Gregory Hatanaka
• Cast: Jason Toler, Nicole D’Angelo, Chris Spinelli
• Keywords: low budget,

2.5/10

Amityville Cop Storyline

As a spate of brutal homicides spreads across the city, Officer Miller finds himself neck-deep in trouble, trying to deal with something far beyond his comprehension and powers. People say an infernal “Demon Cop” has been terrorising the weak, linking its superhuman strength to a dark secret dating back decades. Either way, someone, or better yet, something, prowls the streets, killing innocents. And with the police station’s New Year’s Eve party just around the corner, no one is safe from harm, including detectives. But an ancient evil has latched onto the town, demanding blood. Who can stop the Amityville disease?—Nick Riganas

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Amityville Cop Movie Reviews

For cop sakes, get out of the police station

You know, I find myself cursed by Amityville more than anyone because I have the kind of OCD that demands that every single time a new Amityville-related film comes out – however tenuous and damn, they can get tenuous – I have to watch it and document it for you, dear reader. Just like Ronald Joseph DeFeo Jr. Felt compelled to murder his family, I feel the horrific pull. And no one dies, except for time which is the resource we never get back.

Imagine my surprise when Amityville Cop, a movie that has nothing at all to do with Amityville, was actually pretty good!

Sure, it’s a ripoff of Maniac Cop, but is that such a bad thing?

Directed by Gregory Hatanaka (Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance) and written by Geno McGahee (Satanic Meat Cleaver Massacre), this has the requisite cop killing homeless people, but if he’s powered by a Satanic ritual gone wrong led by Laurene Landon – from Maniac Cop and Maniac Cop 2 – I think all can be forgiven.

Someone yells, “He looked like a cop but he was the devil,” which is a thing I have thought many times. And sure, the humor is forced, the effects are bad, the stock footage is overused and a rocket launcher is represented by fireworks – and oh yeah, no one even says the words Amityville – but I was entertained.

For anyone writing reviews saying, “This is the worst Amityville movie I’ve ever seen,” at least this is only 68 minutes and I have a murderer’s row of Amityville films that are worse.

Lame maniac cop ripoff

Amityville Cop opens with an adequate kill scene reminiscent of the original Maniac Cop. We are then treated to a horrible comedy scene between our main character Detective and his captain with a bizarre swing music soundtrack.

The rest of the runtime consists mostly of very stilted dialogue scenes shot in the police station (someone’s empty house), stock drone footage, and non-gory kill scenes.

The casting of Laurene Landon as a cult leader solidifies the Maniac Cop ‘inspiration’. Cult favorite Lisa London also appears as the only two notable faces on display. The rest of the cast are regulars of Hatanaka’s other films and little else.

Speaking of director Gregory Hatanaka, he was also the director of the abysmal Samurai Cop 2 along with a number of small films, but seems to make his living as a distribution consultant on larger films and somehow was a music supervisor on Kill Bill.

Most recent Amityville films have little to do with the house, but there seems to be no tie whatsoever with Amityville Cop. It’s not even a good sequel to Maniac Cop either.

Bottom line: boring story, bad cast (especially the lead detective’s terrible attempts at being funny), little action or kills make for a very bad film. Still, at least the runtime is a mercifully short 68 minutes and it’s not the worst of the endless Amityville films (Amityville Witches or Amityville Vanishing Point earn that title… for now…)

Not that bad

Not that bad if was that boring I wouldn’t watched till end could done with more people and action in there I.think there might be another one comming out.

• Year: 2011
• Released: 22 Oct 2011
• Country: United States
• Adwords: 1 nomination
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1927093/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/fred_2_night_of_the_living_fred
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: TV-Y7
• Genre: Adventure, Comedy, Horror
• Runtime: 84 min
• Writer: Lucas Cruikshank, David A. Goodman
• Director: John Fortenberry
• Cast: Lucas Cruikshank, Jake Weary, Stephanie Courtney
• Keywords:

	2.5/10
	39% – Critics
	39% – Audience

Fred 2: Night of the Living Fred Storyline

Fred’s life becomes like a horror movie: his favorite music teacher is missing and all suspicions point to her replacement, Mr. Devlin, a pale man who dresses in all black and carries an umbrella in the sunlight…. Fred suspects that he’s a vampire. With the help of his faithful friend Bertha, Fred sets out to save the town from this garlic-hating fiend.—Evan Dalton

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Fred 2: Night of the Living Fred Movie Reviews

Fred 2: Return of the Living Nightmare character

The first movie was unwatchable and one of the worst movies ever made. Fred 2 is a smidgen better, but that is saying very little as it is still horrible in every department. Of the acting, the best performance comes from Siobhan Fallon who has some comic timing that are wasted by how badly written the movie is. John Cena is also amusing and watchable at least. The rest however either can’t do anything with their roles or are a real annoyance. Lucas Cruishank is the absolute worst, he can’t act out of a paper bag and if there is a voice more painfully ear-splitting it’s personally yet to be heard.

The characters are some of the most obnoxious and stupid ever, while the writing is lazy, has no heart or charm and is not funny at all. The WWE skit was just embarrassing. The story is very thin and predictable, nowhere near enough to sustain nearly an hour and a half. Not to mention so idiotic that it insults the intelligence, as well as losing any kind of energy in the second half. There are parody-like scenes here and there but they suffer from being too obvious and being very poorly written that they are in no way funny or scary. Fred 2 looks cheap too, it never rises above hurriedly made made for TV quality and the settings are gaudy and lifeless.

All in all, at least it’s not as bad as the first but it is still horrible. 1/10 Bethany Cox

Simply Stunning

As a single dad i struggle greatly entertaining my daughter.That was until i found Fred 2: Night of the living Fred (2011). ITS CHANGED MY LIFE!!! Fred is a great conversation starter at the dinner table and a good measure on how much her boyfriends know about good films. Fred is definitely an important part to mine and hers life and i really hope that Fred 3 is just as good. To any depressed single dads or up and coming film makers it truly is a must watch. 10/10

they’re times we look back and remember good times, and bad times. This is one of these bad times

so, what can top off a movie where 25% of the film was Fred screaming? well how about a plot about him trying to convince everyone about a vampire. Most of the scenes don’t have anything to do with anything, there’s a scene where Fred’s dad played by John Cena and it feels like it was a self promotion for him to do it, another one is when Fred and Bertha are at the school and they come to a blood drive, Mr. Devlin reveals to be an alien sucks out Fred’s blood and then the next scene is fine, what? i mean it has it’s flaws. Like how there’s no Judy, in this one we get Kevin’s sister. I don’t remember him having a sister all in all, it is not as bad as his animated series *Shudders*

• Year: 2011
• Released: 22 Oct 2011
• Country: United States
• Adwords: 1 nomination
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1927093/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/fred_2_night_of_the_living_fred
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: TV-Y7
• Genre: Adventure, Comedy, Horror
• Runtime: 84 min
• Writer: Lucas Cruikshank, David A. Goodman
• Director: John Fortenberry
• Cast: Lucas Cruikshank, Jake Weary, Stephanie Courtney
• Keywords:

	2.5/10
	38% – Critics
	38% – Audience

Fred 2: Night of the Living Fred Storyline

Fred’s life becomes like a horror movie: his favorite music teacher is missing and all suspicions point to her replacement, Mr. Devlin, a pale man who dresses in all black and carries an umbrella in the sunlight…. Fred suspects that he’s a vampire. With the help of his faithful friend Bertha, Fred sets out to save the town from this garlic-hating fiend.—Evan Dalton

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Fred 2: Night of the Living Fred Movie Reviews

Fred 2: Return of the Living Nightmare character

The first movie was unwatchable and one of the worst movies ever made. Fred 2 is a smidgen better, but that is saying very little as it is still horrible in every department. Of the acting, the best performance comes from Siobhan Fallon who has some comic timing that are wasted by how badly written the movie is. John Cena is also amusing and watchable at least. The rest however either can’t do anything with their roles or are a real annoyance. Lucas Cruishank is the absolute worst, he can’t act out of a paper bag and if there is a voice more painfully ear-splitting it’s personally yet to be heard.

The characters are some of the most obnoxious and stupid ever, while the writing is lazy, has no heart or charm and is not funny at all. The WWE skit was just embarrassing. The story is very thin and predictable, nowhere near enough to sustain nearly an hour and a half. Not to mention so idiotic that it insults the intelligence, as well as losing any kind of energy in the second half. There are parody-like scenes here and there but they suffer from being too obvious and being very poorly written that they are in no way funny or scary. Fred 2 looks cheap too, it never rises above hurriedly made made for TV quality and the settings are gaudy and lifeless.

All in all, at least it’s not as bad as the first but it is still horrible. 1/10 Bethany Cox

Simply Stunning

As a single dad i struggle greatly entertaining my daughter.That was until i found Fred 2: Night of the living Fred (2011). ITS CHANGED MY LIFE!!! Fred is a great conversation starter at the dinner table and a good measure on how much her boyfriends know about good films. Fred is definitely an important part to mine and hers life and i really hope that Fred 3 is just as good. To any depressed single dads or up and coming film makers it truly is a must watch. 10/10

they’re times we look back and remember good times, and bad times. This is one of these bad times

so, what can top off a movie where 25% of the film was Fred screaming? well how about a plot about him trying to convince everyone about a vampire. Most of the scenes don’t have anything to do with anything, there’s a scene where Fred’s dad played by John Cena and it feels like it was a self promotion for him to do it, another one is when Fred and Bertha are at the school and they come to a blood drive, Mr. Devlin reveals to be an alien sucks out Fred’s blood and then the next scene is fine, what? i mean it has it’s flaws. Like how there’s no Judy, in this one we get Kevin’s sister. I don’t remember him having a sister all in all, it is not as bad as his animated series *Shudders*

• Year: 2008
• Released: 28 Jul 2009
• Country: United States
• Adwords: N/A
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1087522/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/fraternity_house
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: Unrated
• Genre: Comedy
• Runtime: 82 min
• Writer: Joel Paul Reisig, Scott Voshel
• Director: Antonijs Prizevoits
• Cast: Joel Paul Reisig, Justin Isfeld, Johnny Lechner
• Keywords: brotherhood,

	2.5/10
	8% – Critics
	8% – Audience

Fraternity House Storyline

Fraternity House is a 24 hour look inside fraternity life. Set on the last day of the school year graduating seniors Jake and Evan have one day to figure out how to stay on campus for a fifth year. With the help of 8th year senior and fraternity legend Greg “Fossil” Karanowski they constantly get themselves into more and more trouble. Throughout the day we see a 6am pajama party, strip poker, drinking games, and the most intense pledging ever seen on film. [D-Man2010]On their last day of college, seniors Jake (Joel Paul Reisig) and Evan (Justin Isfeld) come to the realization that their days walking around in a drunken stupor and ogling half-naked coeds have ended. Fearing graduation and life in the real world, they hatch a plan to return for a fifth year. They enlist the help of “permanent” student and college legend Fossil (Johnny Lechner), who entrusts his sacred “Ten Commandments” on how to stay in college to Jake and Evan. Between antics from breaking into Professor VanOver’s office (Christian Stolte) to kidnapping foreign exchange students, for Jake and Evan, this long day of debauchery is something they will never forget. [D-Man2010]The real world is knocking for college seniors Evan (Justin Isfeld, AMERICAN PIE) and Jake (comedian Joel Paul Reisig), but they dont want to answer the door. With graduation just a day away, the two frat … Full Descriptionboys enlist the help of an eighth-year senior who serves as a different kind of academic advisor and helps them earn a fifth year at their beloved school. FRATERNITY HOUSE takes place in one flash-filled, alcohol-fueled 24-hour period. [D-Man2010]

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Fraternity House Movie Reviews

College Animals

They are trying to sell this one as a “College Animals 3” movie in Germany, College Animals 1 and 2 being (National Lampoons) “Dorm Daze” 1+2. If I haven’t lost you yet, you might be on the wrong page. Maybe you were looking for another movie?! ;o)

Seriously though: This is just another one of those movies, where you are supposed to cheer and have fun with one very bad idea (staying in College forever). And while I was watching the extras on the DVD, I wasn’t sure what to think of the guy who this is actually based on. Most of you will feel sorry for him. But then again, it’s not like cares what we think of him. It’s just a weird extra (interview) to have on the DVD though.

The mentioned Dorm Daze are far better than this, so if you really wanna watch something, go on and watch those.

Terrible Movie

I have to agree with SamthFan. TheJonAlderman is obviously a plant who was involved with production or distribution, because no one in their right mind can give this 10 stars.

I watched it because I was hoping it would be like the Van Wilder flicks or other college movies. Boy was I wrong. Normally the plot lines for college flicks are stupid, but this one is so retarded and unrealistic and poorly formed. The acting was awful, it reminded me of a shitty high school production with kids playing with a new camera they bought. The only thing worse than the acting was the awful writing. The plot jumped around and didn’t flow at all. There were holes everywhere (why were they trying to get a scholarship? how would that solve the problem that they were graduating?) I really doubt these writers have been to university and had the college experience, because none of the stuff that was going on was realistic or plausible in any way.

All in all, the character development was pitiful, there is no hook whatsoever, and the writing/acting was terrible.

Do not see this movie. This is coming from someone who loves stupid movies too.

Total waste of time

This is the story of two siblings on their last day of college that suddenly realize that they like the life of debauchery and don’t want to give it up for a 9-5 life in banking. It takes place over a 24 hour period, beginning with a 6am backyard barbecue and beer-fest. Go figure.

This film is a cheap knock-off of every fraternity movie without any of the originality or charm. The character development is pathetic–most of them are caricatures–and the plot is ridiculous. The production quality suggests that it was made by a bunch of college students with a hand-held. If you want some mild titillation, then go for it, but otherwise don’t waste your time.

• Year: 2016
• Released: N/A
• Country: United States
• Adwords: N/A
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4919766/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/insane
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: N/A
• MPA Rating: TV-MA
• Genre: Horror
• Runtime: 90 min
• Writer: Anthony Werley
• Director: Massimiliano Cerchi
• Cast: Greg Maness, Terry G. Reed, Vincent Rivera
• Keywords: clown,

2.5/10

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Insane Movie Reviews

Boring Paranormal Activity copy

INSANE is another indie found footage horror flick that heavily copies PARANORMAL ACTIVITY throughout. The story sees a couple moving into a new and expansive home, only to find themselves menaced by an evil spirit that takes the form of a toy clown. It’s one of those films where nothing happens, although the actors do their very best to convince you that it does. The director seems more interested in showing off his lead actress’s body in a variety of figure-hugging, skimpy, and low-cut outfits rather than attempting to scare the viewer.

Insane clown possession

Michael (Vincent Rivera) buys a beautiful house on line which Sarah (Marcella “cleavage” Rodriguez) loves until they discover it was a murder house with the initial killing performed by an escapee of a local asylum in a clown suit. Michael loves to film everything and wires up the house when creepy things start following the discovery of a Jack-in-the-box and playing with a cool looking Ouija Board.

If you liked the “Paranormal” series, then this one wasn’t far from the formula. Marcella Rodriguez provided us with some nice eye-candy (if you are into legs, cleavage, and butts) but the over-all feature was typical of the found footage genre.

Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.

Will Drive You Insane

A found footage that has a couple moving into a lush home that has some murder baggage. Seems whoever lives here goes completely off the deep end killing everyone followed by themselves. Sure enough a clown starts to appear in hidden camera footage and is soon seen all over the place or is he really there?

The premise was cool but they had no idea how to deliver it. It was a boring Paranormal Activity type as you watched them sleep every night to see if the clown would show up and sit on the bed. It gets a little better near the end but by this time you have already abandoned all hope for this flick.

• Year: 2005
• Released: 30 Aug 2005
• Country: USA
• Adwords: N/A
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0449599/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/hood_of_the_living_dead
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: R
• Genre: Horror
• Runtime: 90 min
• Writer: Eduardo Quiroz, Jose Quiroz
• Director: Eduardo Quiroz, Jose Quiroz
• Cast: Chris Angelo, Jaysun Barr, Johanna Christensen, Al Daniels
• Keywords: zombie, loss of brother,

	2.5/10
	20% – Critics
	20% – Audience

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Hood of the Living Dead Movie Reviews

Entertainment at a reasonable price

Hood of the Living Dead had a lot to live up to even before the opening credits began. First, any play on “…of the living dead” invokes His Holiness Mr. Romero and instantly sets up a high standard to which many movies cannot afford to aspire. And second, my movie-watching companion professed doubt that any urban horror film would surpass the seminal Leprechaun In the Hood. Skeptical, we settled in to watch.

We were rewarded with a surprisingly sincere and good-hearted zombie film. Oh, certainly the budget is low, and of course the directors’ amateurs friends populate the cast, but Hood of the Living Dead loves zombie cinema. Cheap? Yeah. But when it’s this cheap, you can clearly see where LOVE holds it together.

Ricky works in a lab during the day and as a surrogate parent to his younger brother at night. He dreams of moving out of Oakland. Before this planned escape, however, his brother is shot to death in a drive-by. Ricky’s keen scientific mind presents an option superior to CPR or 911: injections of his lab’s experimental regenerative formula. Sadly, little bro wakes up in an ambulance as a bloodthirsty Oakland zombie! Chaos and mayhem! I think it’s more economical to eat your enemies than take vengeance in a drive-by, but then again, I’m a poor judge of the complexities of urban life. (How poor a judge? In response to a gory scene involving four men, I opined “Ah-ha! White t-shirts on everyone so the blood shows up. Economical! I used the same technique in my own low-budget horror film.” Jordan replied, “No, that’s gang dress. White t-shirts were banned from New Orleans bars for a time as a result.” Oh.)

A lot of the movie is set in someone’s living room, so there’s a great deal of hanging out and waiting for the zombies. But the characters are sympathetic and the movie is sincere– it surpasses its budget in spirit.

Zombie explanation: When man plays God, zombies arise! Or, perhaps: Follow FDA-approved testing rules before human experimentation!

Contribution to the zombie canon: This is the first zombie movie I’ve seen with a drive-by shooting. As far as the actual zombies go, infection is spread with a bite as usual, but quite unusually head shots don’t work– it’s heart shots that kill. Zombies have pulses, the absence of which proves true death. And these zombies make pretty cool jaguar-growl noises.

Gratuitous zombie movie in-joke: A mercenary named Romero. Groan.

Favorite zombie: Jaguar-noise little brother zombie, of course!

free to be ugly

most of the bad reviews on this website blame “Hood of the Living Dead” for one (or more) of the following reasons: 1) it is a low-budget movie with virtually no acting; 2) it was so bad it made me laugh 3) it is something I could do myself. I won’t even discuss the first point because it is a very subjective matter whether you like low-budget and independent stuff or not. I must say, however, that I still fail to understand people renting such a movie as “Hood of the Living Dead” and then looking surprised when they realize it is not as polished and cute as a romantic comedy with Lindsay Lohan or Matthew Mc Conaughey. As for the second point, I really don’t see what’s so wrong with laughing. I personally like to laugh, and love movies that make me to, be they comedies or horror flicks. When in “Hammerhead” I saw this girl stepping into a PUDDLE and the shark-man came out of it to eat her, I just cracked up. And I was grateful that the director made such a stupid scene and gave me ten seconds of pure fun. Honestly, laughing just makes me feel good, while it seems that many people writing reviews see it as a bad bad thing. If you only want to feel sad and scared while watching a movie, “Hood of the Living Dead” and low-budget flicks are definitely not for you. But please don’t come and tell us that you find them laughable. We already know it. This is most probably why we decided to watch the movie in first place. However, it is the third point that leaves totally baffled. Just several years ago people were lining up out of theaters to see “Blair Witch Project”, which is a way more rudimentary, boring, plot-less and bad-acted movie than “Hood of the Living Dead” (and takes itself way too seriously too). Moreover, half a million people go on YouTube every day to see the short films of “Lonelygirl15”, which is certainly something everyone with a cute girlfriend, a room and a webcam could do! Not to talk about all of the even more amateurish videos you can find there. Why don’t people blame those clips for bad acting and non-existing plot? I think it is one of the best things of our times that everyone, with affordable technology and a bunch of friends, can make their own movies and share them with people that have similar interests. And I feel a certain admiration for people who spend their weekends with their friends making a honestly bad (yet refreshing) piece of trash like this rather than shopping at the mall or playing video games alone. Leave aside your biases and your desire to sound like a smart film critic by attacking b-movies, and you’ll see that “Hood of the Living Dead” can bring you almost as much fun as it did to its makers! If you have a taste for refreshing and enjoyable home-made horror movies, I recommend “Zombiez”, “The Ghosts of Edendale”, “The Killer Eye”, “Monster Man”, “Don’t Look in the Basement”, “The Worst Horror Movie Ever Made”, “Redneck Zombies”, “Jesus Christ Vampyre-Slayer” and “Habit”.

I respected the effort

According to this board, I guess either you love it or hate it. Usually how it goes with all movies. There is no need to get testy with others though. All we are doing here is giving opinions. I rented this movie last night and I want to come and throw my opinion in the mix. I was surprised by how many people are thrashing it though. There’s a difference between a movie fan and a horror movie fan. I’m a horror movie fan. Most plain olé’ movie fans don’t like horror movies. So many low budget cam corder looking movies are coming out these days. It’s hard to keep up. And what makes it tough to stay into these movies is how bad they are. I wanted to come and write a review about “Hood of the Living Dead” because it’s pretty damn good compared to the rest of the junk out there. It’s nothing special but it’s those horror film makers that try to be too serious that end up making a horrible horror film. I really liked this one. You telling me there is no effort in this one? And one more thing, I bet all of you have all of these huge DVD collections that you are so proud of, nothing but Major Motion Pictures right? Nothing wrong with that, but you have to know how to appreciate low-budget independent. I knew what I was getting when I watched this movie. I’m not going to be upset because I thought it was going to be some 100 million dollar movie. Some of you might need to stick with watching the Matrix over and over again and stop trying to compare everything to the Matrix. And if most of you are under 24, that explains everything. Good movie folks, check it out.

• Year: 2016
• Released: N/A
• Country: United States
• Adwords: N/A
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3236274/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/werewolf_bitches_from_outer_space
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: N/A
• Genre: Comedy
• Runtime: 73 min
• Writer: Reverend Jen Miller
• Director: Dylan Mars Greenberg, Reverend Jen Miller, Nick Zedd
• Cast: Janeane Garofalo, Lloyd Kaufman, Dave Hill
• Keywords:

2.5/10

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Werewolf Bitches from Outer Space Movie Reviews

Absolutely dreadful

This is completely dreadful, what more can I say? It’s a supposed indie comedy shot on the grubby streets of New York, featuring outer-space werewolf women coming to Earth and wreaking havoc. It’s one of those movies which goes all-out in an attempt to be ‘zany’, with ‘zany’ characters doing ‘zany’ things, and the whole thing is completely stupid. At times this seems to be attempting to spoof old sci-fi and horror B-movies but the attempts are lost amid the incessantly stupid sketches and bad taste moments. Pity poor old Janeane Garofalo, from COP LAND to this in just twenty years!

• Year: 2017
• Released: 10 Jan 2017
• Country: United States
• Adwords: N/A
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5994894/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/the_13th_friday
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: N/A
• Genre: Horror, Thriller
• Runtime: 95 min
• Writer: Tristan Price
• Director: Tristan Price
• Cast: Lisa May, Deanna Grace Congo, Jose Zuniga
• Keywords:

2.5/10

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The 13th Friday Movie Reviews

A Friday without terror or thrills

Was not entirely excited by the idea of the story (though with the right execution it may have worked in a moderate guilty pleasure way), with it being nothing new and with the fear nothing new would be brought to it. Coming across ‘The 13th Friday’ by chance and having an appreciation for horror, despite not expecting an awful lot the decision was made to view it with an open and fair mind.

‘The 13th Friday’ turned out to be one of those films that didn’t really excite on paper but seen also as part of a low-budget horror quest on top of having appreciation for the genre, and didn’t fare much better, in fact it fared even worse, in how it was executed. Do not take any pleasure criticising the film, but it didn’t work for me at all in almost every aspect.

Some lighting was not bad and had some atmosphere, but that is for me the only praise that can be given. Especially when it was very difficult to appreciate, let alone enjoy, it properly when the editing especially was so confused and jumpy. Can definitely see the failed student film project comparison.

Audio is obvious and intrusive and although ‘The 13th Friday’ is not the director’s first film it honestly feels like a woefully inexperienced under-budgeted directing effort.

One of the worst aspects was the acting, which is unspeakably dreadful all round. Especially from the lead actress, giving perhaps one of the worst performances ever. The script is horrendously stilted and the characters are not interesting or rootable at all.

Furthermore, there is no tension or suspense whatsoever. The film is far too dully paced and uneventful to be thrilling and is just too silly, jumpy and predictable to evoke any sense of terror. Some of it is not very easy to follow either.

In summary, no thrills or terror to be found with this Friday. 1/10 Bethany Cox

More stupid than scary

This is definitely a student film project. Unfortunately it’s a very bad one even by those standards.

This movie suffers mostly from taking itself too seriously. And it uses every horror technique ever done by another horror movie. The mixture is too much and makes no sense.

The acting is so atrocious I thought they must have just gathered up some kids from the classroom to do this. No one seemed to know even the basics of acting. And the guy who was supposed to be a country bumpkin with a gun was hilarious the way he tried to do a fake accent.

This movie jumps all over the place. First we’re in an old house, then we jump to a cave with troglodytes in hoods and an idiotic girl with a torch. Is it a dream or a flashback? Who knows? Who cares? It has one of those strange boxes that unfold kind of like Hellraiser, but that doesn’t seem to have much bearing on the story.

Within 6 minutes of the beginning, it had the obligatory lesbian kiss that had no meaning to the story, but it might explain the high rating. These days you have to have that sort of thing just to get a movie produced.

I honestly can’t see how anyone could have given this more than a rating of 3. Maybe all the cast voted it a 10.

All the scare shocks are typical of many low budget horror stories these days. They may work to get screams in a theater, but are useless for the story.

The underlying plot is just plain lame. It takes a little while to figure out what’s going on, but by then you don’t care for any of the characters or what their problems are. And it make no sense anyway.

For some reason they used a mooing cow as a sound effect. You could hear people in the theater laughing every time. At least it got a few laughs. And every time that girl painted black showed up everyone burst out laughing too.

Just when you think you’ve seen the worst horror movie of all time, along comes something like this.

Wish I could get that hour and a half back.

Bottom line: it’s not scary, just stupid.

Nope

When I saw Uncork’d Entertainment was the distributor of this movie, I should have had the good sense to turn it off at that point. I love horror movies. I love bad B-list horror movies. This movie, however, isn’t one of those ‘it’s so bad it’s good.’ This movie is just awful-start to finish. The acting is absolutely atrocious, some of the worse I’ve seen if I’m being honest. The plot of the movie made no sense, the ghost story at the beginning of the movie was convoluted. But the worst part of this movie has to be the godawful editing. It jumps from one scene to the next randomly and without explanation, making it impossible to keep up or image what the director’s vision was.

• Year: 2020
• Released: 09 Nov 2020
• Country: India
• Adwords: 1 win & 5 nominations
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt10350922/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/laxmii
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: Hindi, English
• MPA Rating: TV-MA
• Genre: Action, Comedy, Horror
• Runtime: 141 min
• Writer: Farhad Samji, Raghava Lawrence, Sparsh Khetarpal
• Director: Raghava Lawrence, Balakrishnan Thevar
• Cast: Akshay Kumar, Kiara Advani, Sharad Kelkar
• Keywords: remake, vengeful ghost, based on movie,

2.5/10

Laxmii Storyline

Asif and Rashmi married without the wishes of their parents and are living happily.Rashmi’s mother invites them for their 25th wedding anniversary by forgetting the past her house is located at a place where a nearby bungalow number 6 is said to be haunted Asif goes to play cricket out there with kids where he places the stumps not realizing that a corpse is buried under it.Rashmi’s mother Ratna and sister in law Ashwini notice a black shadow in the house and take help of spiritual guru who tells that the house has a powerful spirit.Asif gets possessed by the spirit and starts to behave and act like female wearing bangles and calling himself Laxmi.—alex.mjacko@gmail.com

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Laxmii Movie Reviews

Backwass Movie, Don’t waste your Precious Time.

Acting Below average, Story Below average, Song Good, Cinematography Poor…. “Overall Full Paisa barbad”.

Slapstick comedy will not make you laugh

The movie starts very slow and picks it’s pace in the middle and will.leave you dissatisfied at the end. The comedy and the dialogues are very petty. Overall a 1star.

Why this was made in the first place?

I couldn’t give less than 1 as there was no option available. Otherwise, I would have. Akshay Kumar has lost his mojo. Doing these kind of movies repeatedly does not suit him. If any one remembers, he did one more movie in the same line called bhool bhulayiya. Also, the trend of copying southern movies to bollywood should end. Its high time. No one wants to see that anymore

• Year: 2022
• Released: 11 Mar 2022
• Country: United Kingdom
• Adwords: N/A
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt11458170/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/cannibal_cabin
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: R
• Genre: Horror
• Runtime: 60 min
• Writer: Charley McDougall
• Director: Louisa Warren
• Cast: Harvey Almond, Jane Buckle, Muneeb Butt
• Keywords:

2.5/10

Cannibal Cabin Storyline

A group of 20 somethings want to end the summer on a high, they take the advice from a girl they met at a festival about a secret rave deep in the Valleys. When their route is detoured they have no choice but to venture into the unknown. Once they come across a derelict aqua park, they soon realize what they thought was their salvation turns out to be the heart of the Cannibals lair.

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Cannibal Cabin Movie Reviews

A genuine horror for it’s time

Cannibal Lake is directed by Louisa Warren (Tooth Fairy 1,2, The Viking War, Pagan Warrior) and written by Charley McDougall which holds such a diverse range of characters. Interesting, strong and unpredictable.

Dubbed “a British Texas Chain Saw Massacre”, Cannibal Lake tells the story of a group of 20 somethings, wanting to end the summer on a high, take the advice from a girl they met at a festival about a secret rave deep in the Valleys. When their route is detoured they have no choice but to venture into the unknown. Once they come across a derelict Leisure Park, they soon realize what they thought was their salvation turns out to be the heart of the cannibals lair.

Action packed!

• Year: 2022
• Released: 03 Feb 2022
• Country: United States
• Adwords: N/A
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt14912006/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/bull_shark
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: TV-14
• Genre: Action, Drama, Horror
• Runtime: 80 min
• Writer: Brett Bentman
• Director: Brett Bentman
• Cast: Thom Hallum, Billy Blair, Lindsey Marie Wilson
• Keywords: shark attack, bullshark,

2.5/10

Bull Shark Storyline

A shark begins feeding upon innocent swimmers in a small Texas community. In an effort to control the terror and save face, Spencer, an alcoholic game warden, is trying to find a solution before the media will find out. With the help of his friend Nolan and his wife Dottie he starts the fight with the bull sharks.—Frank Liesenborgs

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Bull Shark Movie Reviews

A few positives hold this one up over its problematic issues

After a series of strange attacks, the sheriff and game-warden at a small-town lake community slowly realize the stories about a killer bull shark living in the area are true and set out to corral the shark from attacking the community while trying to keep it quiet from the public.

This was a rather problematic indie shark movie. Among the few things this gets right is the generally fun series of attacks here that manage to overcome the low-budget indie setup in place. The initial attacks with the swimmers in the lake, including those that get dragged underwater and chomped on, generate some decent enough sequences to get an idea of what they’re dealing with. The realism of the scenes featuring the shark just coming up and chomping on victims in a normal, grounded setting is quite fun that goes hand-in-hand with the equally grounded encounters trying to kill it. Relying on the more realistic nature of keeping the hunters in realistic boats and not going overboard with the stunt-work and action which is a nice touch that gives this some likable features. It’s not that much but it keeps this one going somewhat. There are a few issues with this one. One of the main drawbacks here is the rather uninvolved setup that takes quite a while to get to anything interesting due to a flurry of cliches and formulaic setups. The focus on the family squabbling through a divorce due to his drunken habits, or alcoholism that’s led to the divorce makes for a troubling start here filled with uninviting and cliched setups with family drama to start the film. The different forms of trouble found at the office, with the different offices attempting his contact him or going through the motions of contacting him for their own means manages to drag this one down even further into a slough that’s rather hard to overcome since hardly any of these tie into the other storylines at play with a disjointed appearance. That doesn’t take into account the fact that a majority of the story is so disjointed and chaotic that it’s somewhat difficult to stay invested. Not only is this beginning tough to get into, but the secondary storylines involving the family strife and cover-ups that try to hide the shark’s existence are also equally uninteresting and just fuel cliched setups that affect the pacing. As well, that also doesn’t take into account the usual tropes surrounding this one including the highly underwhelming special effects at play. The shark is shown in a rather intriguing anatomically-accurate-yet-obviously-CGI setup that manages to make the shark look quite goofy and cheesy as a result since the focus on continuing the highly aggravating tactics of featuring it looks cheap. Not fitting into the environments, looking out of place due to the insertion into different settings and the ever-prominent dimension changes that take place which keeps it looking pretty underwhelming. Since there’s not much in the way of practical effects here or even blood and gore featured here, this all helps to make it feel somewhat underwhelming.

Rated Unrated/R: Language and Violence.

Please research before commenting.

Granted, it’s not a great movie. To the people saying sharks don’t live in fresh water, do some research. Bull sharks (one of the 3 deadliest “maneaters”, can easily transition from saltwater to freshwater, and are found several hundred kilometres upriver worldwide.

Well that was a lot worse than I expected, and I expected it to be awful.

Texas Game Warden Spencer Timms (Thom Hallum) battles a man-eating bull shark that has made itself at home in a Texan lake, feeding on unwary tourists.

The title of this low budget shark-in-a-lake horror positively invites the single-word summary ‘Bull Sh**’, but someone else beat me to it.

Written and directed by Brett Bentman, for whom a Spielberg-like meteoric rise to fame is extremely unlikely, Bull Shark joins the likes of House Shark, Ghost Shark, Sand Sharks, Jurassic Shark and Sharkenstein as one of the worst in a sub-genre that has churned out plenty of stinkers.

The terrible script spends more time on the protagonist’s drink problem, his failing marriage, and a totally pointless subplot concerning a corrupt mayor than it does the shark, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing given how crappy the titular fish is: the CGI shark effects are dreadful, and more often than not, it’s just a plastic fin on a stick poking out of the water.

1/10. Have fun identifying the comments posted by the director’s friends.

• Year: 2017
• Released: 30 Dec 2017
• Country: United States
• Adwords: N/A
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3861144/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/paranormal_evil
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: Not Rated
• Genre: Horror, Thriller
• Runtime: 93 min
• Writer: ShaRhonda ‘Roni’ Brown
• Director: Akil Pugh
• Cast: Andrea Ciliberti, Najee De-Tiege, Denise Garcia
• Keywords:

2.5/10

Paranormal Evil Storyline

Growing up is never easy, but for Alexis King it will be deadly. The child survivor of Victorville’s most infamous murder case that brutally claimed the life of her mother, Alexis is now turning 21 and the sole heir to the Victorville estate. But when she receives the deed to her old family home, she also receives it’s secrets. Making the house her new home yet unable to shake the feeling that evil forces within it are responsible for creepy occurrences, Alexis and her friends investigate the home’s history and discover that the dangerous entity may have been responsible for her mother’s death and so many more.—Joston “El Rey” Theney

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Paranormal Evil Movie Reviews

Deadly growing up

‘Paranormal Evil’ drew me into seeing it, with a cool poster/cover, an intriguing if not particularly original premise and as someone with a general appreciation for horror. That it was low-budget, which from frequent personal experience is rarely a good sign due to that there are so many poor ones out there, made me though apprehensive as well as the low rating and poor reviews.

It is sadly however yet another film seen recently, hence some reiteration because the exact same strengths and flaws those films have are present here, that to me was incredibly disappointing considering its potential which it doesn’t do anywhere near enough with. ‘Paranormal Evil’ is terrible, with a plethora of problems (huge ones too) and doesn’t do enough with its potential, which was hardly small. There is next to nothing to recommend.

Lets start with the sole positive. The scenery is atmospheric and spooky.

Unfortunately, the scenery is not done justice by the rather direct to video schlocky way it’s shot and edited and the drab colour palette, so much so it was hard to appreciate it, it was very clear that the film was made in a rush with no care or enthusiasm. In particular, the camera work was a nauseous assault on the eyes with its excessive amateurish-ness.

Going on further to the negatives, the story does feel paper thin, disjointed and over-stretched and some of it feels vague, under-explained in the last third where the film especially became duller, more predictable, more senseless and less scary. Too many characters are too sketchy and with nowhere near enough to make one want to endear to them. Their annoying and illogical decision making and behaviours frustrates.

Making the film feel bland and forgettable with not enough heart put into it. The effects are ropy at best, the sound quality is obvious and utilised cheaply (being too loud in the build ups and people’s reactions) and it’s best not mentioning the uniformly lumbering and histrionic acting that shows a huge indifference to the situation and what is going on.

Dialogue can be stilted and rambling, with lots of clichés and no depth whatsoever, while the pace goes to a standstill very quickly and drags on forever with very little going on worth caring about and useless padding, never recovering. Found too many the supposedly shocking moments not surprising or scary and the supposedly creepy atmosphere dreary, due to the excessive obviousness, a lot of dumb and vague moments and explanations and the lack of tension and suspense. Would not have minded the lack of originality (the film is extremely derivative and in a dumbed and watered down way) if the story and atmosphere were at least alright in execution, in reality they were both very poorly done.

A lot of ‘Paranormal Evil’ has underdeveloped plot elements and often nonsensical and confusing character motivations, while too many of the things to make you jump or shocked are far from creative or scary and are pretty tame. The ending makes the film finish on an incomplete and confused whimper.

There is not enough threat, and what there is of it tends to be used poorly, it is completely unimaginative and more odd than creepy, completely failing to show any sense of horror or creativity. Everything here is neither creative, suspenseful or nail-biting. Some badly sagging momentum too. The direction is leaden and like their heart was not in it or ill at ease, with the chemistry between the characters and actors coming over as constantly random and aggressive with the subtlety of an axe.

Overall, awful with no redeeming value apart from an element that is difficult to appreciate with it being complemented so badly. 1/10 Bethany Cox

Paranormally Abysmal

*WARNING: SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW*

I gave this movie one star because it was not possible to give it a lesser rating than that. The basic premise isn’t the worst that I’ve ever seen, but everything else about this film was awful. None of the characters are even remotely likeable, or believable.

The main character, Alexis, inherits a house from her mother, and this happens to be the same house that her mother and little brother were murdered in. At the time that she is informed of this inheritance, Alexis is living with her kinfly Aunt Pat. Aunt Pat is the sister to Alexis’s stepfather, Dorian. Dorian is in an asylum for the criminally insane, ostensibly for killing Alexis’s mother and little brother.

Alexis decides that it is only right to visit Dorian in the asylum, to give him some money from her inheritance. Alexis takes her boyfriend, Paul, with her. Alexis tries to engage Dorian in meaningful conversation, which faisf. Dorian ends up attacking Alexis and tried to dtrangle her to death. Of course, he fails.

Alexis goes on to move into the house that she inherited, with the help of Paul, Kira, her best friend, and Ray, Kira’s boyfriend. The gang decides to play hide ”n’ seek, during which time Ray puts the moves on Alexis. She rebuffs his advances, and he skills off sulking. Alexis is then frightened by a presence in the basrbase. When questioned by Kira, Alexis says that she was frightened by a mouse. Kira is skeptical of Alexis’s story, but doesn’t push the matter.

Over the course of the movie, Paul and Alexis have sex, during which she bites him hard enough to draw blood. Pail freaks out and they stop fooling around. At this point, I should advise you that Alexis, Paul, Kira, and Ray all have the moral integrity and fiber of a nymphomaniacal 25 cent hooker. Alexis, you see, is troubled by visions, and when Paul can’t handle her mood swigss, he bangs Kira. Kira tells Paul that she is dumping Ray because she wants to be with him. Paul tells Kira that he plans on marrying Alexis.

Kira moves in with Alexis, and witnesses Alexis’s increasingly erratic behavior. Paul makes several visits, to check on Alexis. Kira also tried to patch things up with Ray, whom she had dumped in the hope of getting with Paul. Shortly after speaking with Ray, and telling him how much she wants to see him again, she bangs Paul. Ray comes to the house, and Alexis puts the moves on him, telling him that she knows that Paul and Kira are bumping uglies. Ray, who has been a lecherous creep for most of the movie, is now suddenly morally upright and virtuous; he rebuffs Alexis rather vehemently.

Ray then storms out of the house, spitting and cursing like he’d just French kissed a leper. He then goes and sits on a bench in the backyard to have a cigarette and calm down. In the house, Alexis gets call from her Aunt Pat. Pat tells her that Dorian managed to escape from the asylum, and that he is coming after Alexis.

Back outside, Ray is murdered by someone not shown on-screen. In the house, everyone is freaking out about Dorian’s escape. Paul goes outside to get Ray, and finds him dead, with his throat cut from ear to ear. He freaks out and goes back inside to get Kira and Alexis, and then leave before Dorian gets there. Kira finds out that Ray has been killed, and she collapses like she’s just lost the love of her life. Mind you, she was banging Paul like drum major in a marching band earlier that same night. Paul please with Kira, telling her that they need to go, but she refuses to leave Ray behind.

Paul and Kira carry Ray’s body into the house, and Kira stays with Ray.. even though he’s dead and there appears to be a killer on the loose… while Paul goes to find Alexis.

Alexis has been having visions this entire time, and while stumbling around the house, she finds Paul’s body; he’s been murdered. Cut to Dorian showing up at the house; he is next to Kira’s body; she is now dead, too.

Dorian finds Alexis and they struggle, but she ends up stabbing him to death. The authorities arrive, and the sole survivor, Alexis, is rescued. The movie cuts to a year later, and Alexis is living with Aunt Pat again. Aunt Pat finds an old letter behind a photograph of a young Alexis. Reading the letter, Pat discovers that it’s from her former sister-in-law, Alexis’s mother. Dorian was not the murderer. Alexis was. Alexis drowned her little brother, but Alexis’s mother didn’t tell anyone, because she knew that no one would believe her. She goes on to warn, in this letter, that Alexis is evil, but it would be futile to warn anyone because they wouldn’t believe her, either. Alexis then shows up snd asks dear Aunt Pat what she’s doing…. and fade to Black. The movie ends.

Somebody may have liked it, but I did not.

Bad acting. Bad story. And three names under which this film is known won’t make it good. The utter boredoom. Its posters are literally like Don’t judge the film by its poster, which was the well-done posters for a bad-done film.

• Year: 2002
• Released: 14 Jun 2002
• Country: United States
• Adwords: N/A
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0201844/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/survival_island
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: R
• Genre: Horror, Thriller
• Runtime: 85 min
• Writer: David Hillenbrand, Scott Hillenbrand
• Director: David Hillenbrand, Scott Hillenbrand
• Cast: Nicholas Brendon, Jaime Pressly, Eugene Byrd
• Keywords: pinata,

	2.5/10
	17% – Critics
	27% – Audience

Survival Island Storyline

A group of teens trapped on an island, and are haunted by a demon hidden inside a pinata.

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Survival Island Movie Reviews

It took me exactly 15 minutes to decide…but I was curious!

I think the introduction was the best part of the movie. Yes, that part where you have to be spoon fed an explanation about you are seeing (because the director thinks it’s a novel idea!) Plainly, no one actually needs this explanation. I think it makes good decoration.

One thing surprised me. The visuals of the “natives” and their relationship to the piñata were interesting to watch, “most” of the time. The quality of the whole thing had that professionally rehearsed quality that you beg for in a cartoon.

If it weren’t for that introduction, I may have not stayed over the 15 minute mark to see what this movie was all about.

The transition from the actually better-than-it-deserved intro-music to the MINDLESS GRUNGE sound of those inane rock guitars was my first indication that I was about to turn this movie off in a few minutes.

Then, the water gun games between the rafts. Wow, that was so compelling. The minutes were ticking. My palms were getting wet and sticky. But I forged on!

Then came the earth-shattering character development scene about a Port-O-Potty! I was breathless with anticipation. What could they think of next?

Then, believe it or not! That grungy music again! Oh, I was captivated!

After this, I had to make a life-changing decision. Would I stay or go?

OK…I stayed. Then, more character development about young people smoking pot. Folks, this was deep! You gotta believe me, here!

Then, of course comes the discovery of the awe-inspiring Piñata from hell! What does our hero do? He hits it with a stick, of course! What else would any self-respecting dude-about-town do in a situation like this?

And then…….

YOU GUESSED IT! YES!

IT came to LIFE!

And then why NOT spoil it? The rest of the plot resembles the Friday the 13th genre, of course. Pick them off, one by one…oh the TENSION, the DRAMA…the utter “grippingness” of it all!

The unanswered questions, the doubts, the comic relief…oh, the sheer artistry…

The UTTER, UTTER, uselessness of it all!

(CLICK)

So bad it’s painful

Poor Nicholas Brendon. While his other Buffy castmates get to do theatrical films he is stuck in this straight to video abomination so awful everyone involved should actually be ashamed. The monster is particularly embarrassing–a computer generated thing that looks like it stepped out of a video game and almost never interacts with the live actors, making it seem even more fake. The idea of a killer Pinata might have offered some campy fun if the thing actually looked like a Pinata. The only film I’ve seen recently that was comparably dreadful was House of the Dead, which I actually walked out of when I was foolish enough to pay and see it in a theater. Movies like this really make you long for the return of Mystery Science Theater 3000.

This movie should be in the “comedy” section at the video store!

Thankfully, I didn’t waste my money renting this movie, I watched it on cable instead, where it was part of the AMC Friday night “Frightfest” line-up. The only thing I seem to have wasted was my time and my last remaining brain cell.

However, I think the cable channel mistook this movie for a “horror” film where it should have been more appropriately slotted between an airing of “AIRPLANE II” and “STEWARDESS SCHOOL”.

My curiosity to see this movie spiked when I discovered that Xander from “Buffy The Vampire Slayer” was starring in it. The first chuckles came when the credits list him as a “Producer”, followed by the blatant rip off of the opening credits from the movie “THE THIRTEENTH WARRIOR”.

But never mind that, after you get past the hilarious introduction which shows how the evil piñata is created, the movie kicks into overdrive as we flash forward to the present day where a group of frat kids are heading to an island for an underwear scavenger hunt! I kid you not, some people actually spent a lot of time and effort to think up this highly original plot.

I for one was expecting something similar to Nicholas Brendon’s last beach horror movie, “PSYCHO BEACH PARTY” which turned out to be a rather amusing camp trash mini-classic. Apparently, Brendon was looking to steer himself in a more “serious” direction and decided to leave the laugh track behind.

Unfortunately, the laugh track follows him to this particular movie as well, but for all the wrong reasons. All of the characters are incredibly annoying, so you’re just praying that this piñata thing shows up really fast so it can start the bloodshed. And when it finally does show up, that is when the real laughter begins!

I haven’t laughed this hard since, well, “PSYCHO BEACH PARTY”! The piñata looks like it was created on someone’s home computer, a Commodore 64 perhaps. You can’t help but laugh when you see it’s eyes glow orange and you suddenly get to see through “Pinata vision” which is apparently a poor attempt at copying “PREDATOR”, but this time, we get to see its victims as orange triangles stacked on top of each other (LOL).

I agree with another user’s comment here, before seeing this movie, I was picturing some sort of papier-mache donkey that is brought to life and goes on some sort of a killing rampage. Watching this particular “piñata” running around clubbing people to death with a yard stick was too hilarious for words.

There is one scene that involves a dirt buggy crashing into a log and “blowing up”. The ‘explosion’ graphics look like they were spliced right out of a video game. In fact, I don’t even think they used a “green screen” when filming this particular scene as it looks like they transferred a CGI “fireball” from the early-90’s computer game “DOOM” directly onto the film – the graphics don’t even match the surrounding scenery and the flames overlap the trees! They must have had a lot of good times while filming this. I could picture the director shouting to the girl, “Now fly through the air like you’re dodging a fireball!”, the girl trying to keep a straight face while improvising at the same time.

The acting is also in a field of its own. If you want to call what these actors are doing, “acting” – there is a scene where one girl is picking underwear off a roped line and decides to skip a few for no reason. The whole point of them being there is to COLLECT AS MANY PAIRS OF UNDERWEAR AS YOU CAN – which would probably also explain why one of the guys also decides to leave several boxers pinned to a bush. Priceless!

The worst actor out of all of them was the one handcuffed to Nicholas Brendon – Jaime Presley. I had to click on her name to see what else she had been in and was not surprised at all to see that most of it had either gone straight-to-video or was a small cameo in a two-bit television show on UPN.

The dialog was downright embarrassing. When Nicholas Brendon tries to impress Jaime Presley at the beginning of the movie by explaining the history of “Cinco de Mayo” after everyone else at the table had passed for stupidity, I just burst out laughing. This movie was simply awful!

Also, when did they change the name of this movie to “DEMON ISLAND”? Is this a laughable attempt at trying to rename the film to trick people into seeing it after the bad word of mouth gets around?

After watching this trash, one can only hope that someone would fill a real piñata with copies of this movie so we can all have a go at it with a wooden bat.

My Rating – 0 out of 10

• Year: 2002
• Released: 21 Feb 2002
• Country: United States
• Adwords: N/A
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0278259/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/com_for_murder
• Metacritics:
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: Unrated
• Genre: Horror, Sci-Fi, Thriller
• Runtime: 96 min
• Writer: Nico Mastorakis, Phil Marr, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
• Director: Nico Mastorakis
• Cast: Nastassja Kinski, Jeffery Dean, Nicollette Sheridan
• Keywords:

	2.5/10
	7% – Audience

.com for Murder Storyline

This high-tech, psychological thriller is set in the shadowy world of the Internet. Sondra Brummel is recovering from a skiing accident in her boyfriend’s mansion, and accidently contacts a possible killer in an Internet chatroom. She and her friend Misty enter a virtual game that that becomes all too real.—Anonymous

.com for Murder Photos

.com for Murder Torrents Download

.com for Murder Subtitles Download

.com for Murder Movie Reviews

I’ll watch anything once…

and boy did this movie test my resolve. This is a damn awful movie that is neither scary, creepy, or suspenseful. The dialogue is terrible and the acting is even worse. No one in this movie ever has the appropiate reaction to any situation. And the villian is just so bad he’s not scary, he’s laughable. You know you are in trouble when the best acting performance in your movie is by Huey Lewis. And is it just me or is it odd hearing Huey Lewis say the F* word. I guess it’s not hip to be square anymore.

– halderic

(i imported this from the newsboard, since i think anyone ever looks over there)

Not good…but certainly not bad enough to merit it being on IMDb’s Bottom 100 list.

This is a film that could have been a lot better had the writing been better. After all, the idea of a psycho who uses the internet to stalk people or kill is pretty cool (such as in Karen Rose’s book, “I Can See You”). But, “.Com for Murder” just isn’t up to the task.

The film stars a handicapped lady who, it turns out later in the film, isn’t particularly handicapped. Like magic, she is able to walk and move about late in the film–just one of the dopey things you’ll see in this silly film. Anyway, back to the plot. Her husband (in a tiny role by Roger Daltry) is apparently involved on a web site that is for cheaters and sex addicts. When he leaves, the wife and her sister go online and accidentally get sucked into the sick world of a serial killer who really, really likes his work–and is a freaking computer genius. Much of what he and the very computer savvy wife do in the film is possible–some of it definitely is not (they should have done their homework). Can the police arrive in time to save the two women before the killer murders them both? Well, possibly not, as the cops in the film are awfully dumb. It’s a shame, really, as I liked Huey Lewis’ acting and dialog–but what cop, when he thinks a serial killer is lose, would just sit back and wait!? Yes, any semi-competent cop would immediately respond. And, when it turns out that the killer has hacked into the police computer and sends them to the wrong part of town, does he have other police respond to the women’s plight?!? No, he drives the 20-30 minutes and doesn’t have backup respond immediately!! Duh…

Additional stupid moments include a scene where the killer slashes one lady’s wrists while her other hand is handcuffed to a railing. Why, during all the time she is bleeding, doesn’t sh press her bleeding wrist to her leg or put it between her legs to slow the bleeding?! And, speaking of bleeding, why does the blood flow so slowly?! And, why is the serial killer able to withstand a bazillion volts yet magically come back to life minutes later?! And, why does the lady in a wheelchair manage to WALK ABOUT so easily later in the film!?!? Okay, it is a bad movie. And, there isn’t much to recommend it. However, with so many, many movies out there, this bad film isn’t among the 100 very worst–or possibly 1000 worst. It’s bad, but the basic story idea isn’t and there are a few genuinely tense moments–buried within the dumb moments and overly gruesome killings early in the movie. Overall, it’s cheap and looks like it was made direct to video or perhaps to be featured on Spike TV (it’s THAT bad).

when music stars go bad

Roger Daltrey of The Who, has to leave town. So he lets his snoop untrusting wheelchair-bound wife alone with her sister. Of course the wife acts like a pre-teen girl & starts a fight with a psycho hacker who wants to kill them. It’s up to Huey Lewis of Huey Lewis fame to save her before it’s too late. When one watches a Nico Mastorakis film one doesn’t expect a logical story or likable characters or any semblance of a good movie. Those that watch Mastorakis’s films are pretty much sexists who like to test their endurance of crap. This film is no different in that respect.

My Grade: D-

Where i saw it: Showtime on demand